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I brought myself some flowers today?
September 4, 2007
3:49 pm
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courage to change
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Hi everyone.

I feel as though im getting obsessive around my boyfriend today, and myself esteem slipping slowely.

We went dancing yesterday, we were both tired. He was dancing with someone else (im fine with that), but he bumped into me with the girl he was dancing with, and she hurt me buy kikking my foot. It was an accident. Inside, I felt very angry cause he didnt apologise, and he carried on dancing as though nothing had happened. When i saw him during the break, I told him that he bumped into me. He still didnt apologise. I feel angry.

We had a good dance afterwards together, but then he started to feel tired so we went home. I know Im highly sensitive, but I cant help how I feel. At first I felt guilt for sticking up for myself to him, but now Im glad I speak my mind.

So many times in my life when i get together with a man, i become submissive, well its not going to be like this today.

I love my partner very much, he is very kind, does things for me, tactil, and normally considerate, so ive got no idea why he was acting inconsiderate.

Im must say i do find men insensitive sometimes. Its difficult cause we are both two different sexes and I know we have different perspectives on life.

Anyway, just felt low today. So Ive decided to regain my power. By focusing more on me, I brought me some flowers, cause I deserve them, and tomorrow night ive got a friend giving me a massage.

Did you do anything good for yourself today.?

September 4, 2007
4:49 pm
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safeinside
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I'm going to get my hair done tomorrow after I cash my check!!

Thanks for posting!

September 4, 2007
7:43 pm
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Anonymous
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I am like that as well. Often times I find it is cause the person is often someone who is not senstive and has this need to hurt me, remember that abusive people often times seek out those who are submissive and hurt inside, they can sense it and they LOVE to have a go with you here...

This may or may not be your case, but from personal experiences, if someone does not consider my feelings, after I had pointed it out in some way, and still no aploogy or acknowledgement, I immed run from them, cause I know that down the road they will do more and greate harm to me. That is often why I choose to be alone and have only two friends in this world, cause people who are senstive are hard to find and when you do find them, hold on tight and never let them go.

I also buy myself flowers, if not, I would never get them! I love flowers and I think I deesrve them too at times, so I buy them for myself at times, why not??? My best to you and be well:) Safe hugs.

September 4, 2007
7:54 pm
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Rasputin
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CTC~ I identify with your situation a lot. If you're (HSP/Highly sensitive person) as me, chances are you will hook up with a tough guy. As the adage goes "Opposites attract."

Check out the http://www.hsperson.com

Yep, I bought myself this last week-end a dazzling Indian dress for summer and a chic mule. My buddy saw them on me and could hardly recognize me!!! A cool treat for myself!!!

September 4, 2007
11:14 pm
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Hi.

Sometimes I buy myself flowers too. When I lived in my old apartment my neighbor and I used to buy them for each other since our guys never did. A couple of times I sent some to the elderly lady next door, who is senile and probably doesn't know who I am, but I like to buy a bunch of flowers and I don't need them all in my apartment. I wonder if she even notices them or not. I hope so. She never leaves the apartment, her nurses don't even take her to the lobby.

September 4, 2007
11:22 pm
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Courage-

I meant to ask, do you get to dance with other guys?

He realize that you got stepped on? And still didn't apologize? Hard to know what that's all about except for maybe foolish pride.

I remember once my extremely loyal first bf came to visit me in a class where I had a male friend. The guy and I were talking, and I wasn't paying attention and stepped backward right on my bf's foot. Don't ask me why, but it still bugs me DECADES later when I think of it. I just felt like, if that were me it would have hurt my feelings more than my foot. So I understand where you are coming from. But maybe he is not used to dancing with strange girls, they got out of step and he didn't want to feel embarrassed or to make her feel bad?

Still, I agree, his priority should have been YOU. But if this is a decision he made in a split second and is not like him normally, maybe it means less than it seems and he didn't want you to be upset. Some people feel like if they don't acknowledge that they hurt your feelings that they can sweep things under the rug, when really it has the reverse effect. Can you tell him that?

-ella

September 5, 2007
3:10 am
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courage to change
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Good morning to you all.

Thank you so much for your support.

Well my flowers look absolutely lovely, and every time I look at them, it reminds me how much I love myself, and want to look after me.

My boyfriend is sensitive to my needs, but not 100% of the time. Now Ive stepped back from the situation, I think he was most probably very engrossed in what he was doing. Either way I said what I had to say, so the thats it.

The truth is with this relationship, I do speak my mind. In the past I never did. This is completely new for me, and brings up lots of my own insecurities i.e. like being rejected. Anyhow, like I said most of the time my man is sensitive to my needs when I express them, but I do not think he can read my mind.

Laughing about it now - it seems like im the one always being assertive and saying how i feel. I hope I do not come across as being critical of him, cause im not!

Anyway, self esteem feels so much better today. I have reset my boundaries, and in my head regained my own power.

I think you are all absolutely wonderful, and I feel so much love and warmth here it is great.

I would love to have this unconditional support one day in my personal life (but people are human and not perfect I guess, and come with all sorts of agendas). So I remain protective of myself.

Me - I am just plain and simple, with a love and passion for human life. I do love people, but Im very protective emotionally, cause I do not want to be hurt all over again.

I hope you are all having a good day, and "to thine own self be true"

love xxx

September 5, 2007
1:46 pm
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smarterone
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Woke up finally.

September 5, 2007
11:01 pm
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Hi Courage To Change,

Glad you are enjoying your flowers and seem to feel better. Only you know what your comfort/tolerance levels are and can judge the significance and impact of events in your relationship. The way you explained it it seemed like an unusual event. Well, you said your bf is sensitive to your needs... but not 100% of the time. Who is sensitive to other people's needs 100% of the time? Oh, right codependents! And even not us. We all like to believe we are always sensitive, but... What I'm trying to say is, if he's a good guy use your instincts and let some time go by before you do anything rash. It sounds like you have a handle on it though.

-ella

September 5, 2007
11:12 pm
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courage to change
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Thanks. Yes am feeling very positive about that side of things. Something clicked. Ive decided to let go and build up my own world more, rather than expecting him to all my needs. Hallelujuh.

I want to let go of him, not physically, but just emotionally. Take the tight ropes of him because of my insecurities if this makes sense. Let him be free to choose and be who he is and wants to do. But if disrespectful to me, I will say how I feel.

This is a great breakthrough. All I need to do is sleep now. Too late to be thinking about this stuff.

Thanks once again.

xxx

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