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I bought a new house......Mich here....
September 27, 2009
8:59 am
Forum Posts: 5
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
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So, I finally got off of my butt and really searched out a place to live. I have been living in the home of our Pastor and his wife now for 21 weeks. The kids and I are ready to go....in most ways. I am ready to have a place to call HOME, and a place to begin to move forward. Being here served its purpose for a while, but, I am surely ready to move forward at this point.

My divorce is in a messed up place, but I am doing the best I can. Amazingly enough, there are less than 10 weeks until my divorce is final and I can't wait. I am SO ready for it to be over. His attorney sent mine a letter stating that he would like me to live in the marital home until our divorce is final and custody is settled, and property division. He also asked me to drop the PPO at least as to phone contact to discuss the children. Neither one is going to happen. There was more in that letter, but I couldn't even handle it. I read it, called a friend and read it to her and just went off until my blood pressure went back to somewhere near normal. It just proves to me that he isn't at all remorseful and he just doesn't get it. It also in many ways insulted my intelligence. That said, I KNOW without question that he believed that I would give in to some of it. That I would lay there and give in...those days are over asshole. I am not taking ANYTHING from him. NOTHING AT ALL. He really wanted me to move back into the marital home because he can't pay his child support and the house payment...how in the hell would he know since I have yet to receive a fricking dime from him. So, I am supposed to feel sorry for him....guess what, it isn't going to happen. I don't feel sorry for him in the slightest. He has done NOTHING to help with his kids, and I am not willing to do anything to help him. And really, what help would it be to move the kids back in, to only move them out in three months. That would be detrimental in my mind. I am not looking to play headgames with my kids. I have enough pieces to pick up without adding more. Not that he would have a clue....

As far as the last situation....my divorce attorney wants me to leave the rape case alone until my divorce is final. This made me angry for so many reasons. I completely understand what she is saying, but I have had to be silent for 33 years. I am sick and tired of "not being able to tell". To stuff it for three months...I am not sure that is possible, or that it is safe. I don't know what will happen. I don't think it needs to be made common knowledge in my divorce, but I don't want to feel like I am having to hide it either. I was raped.... And so much of me feels like I am being made to act the same as I did as a child. I just jumped out of a plane to prevent this kind of thing. I want women to speak out, and I want to raise awareness and prevention for sexual assault. Yet, I have to consider what is in the best interest of me and my kids as well.

That is where I am at the moment....

Thanks for the support that I receive here.

September 27, 2009
10:00 am
Forum Posts: 6
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

(((Mich))) It has been a long time since I have posted to you...to be honest I don't get around here much anymore, so I really don't know everything that is going on with your story. I apologize for that. From your post, it sounds as if there has been quite a bit going on with you lately, and I am sorry you are going through this all. I remember my divorce as being one of the hardest things I ever had to go through, so I wish you the strength to make it through....and the peace that comes once it is over.

I am glad you are moving forward by getting a place of your own. I think you most likely needed the support of your pastor at this time, and it was wonderful that they were able to keep you and your children safe for a while. But it is time, and you are ready to move on. I wish you the best in your search.

You are right in not moving the kids back to the house, if it won't be permanent. Let your STBX figure out how to make the child support payments. He needs to sell the house if he can't afford both. The courts will see to that, and that he pays you for the time you were not with him during the divorce.

I am so sorry you are struggling with the rape...I know it is something you need closure about. But maybe it is for the best. The stress and trauma of this may be too much to bear in addition to a divorce. Heal from one, then move on to the next. Just my humble opinion. Someday, you will have peace, or at least closure, on both of these issues. And you will be able to move on.

I wish you the best of everything. Please take care of yourself...

September 27, 2009
10:07 am
New Member
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

So good to see you post.

Congrats on the house. You'll love bein on your own.

As for hubby, stand your ground. You are doin great and I know you'll be fair yet not take any more from him. Good for you honey.

As for the rape, I can see your point on that. It is hard to be silent and I'm not sayin one way or the other on what to do. If you know who the person is can you confront him? I know that would totally blow your case but it might stop him from doing it again? IDK, that is best left to discuss w/ your attorney I'd say. Too many things to consider to put them all down in words.


(((holding you close as always)))

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