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i barely escaped...
August 24, 2005
10:37 am
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100PercentMe
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Ive been thinking...

wow.

Reading all these posts both scare me and enlighten. I think that I was just spared the worst situation possible...marraige to a *potential* abuser.

D said that in his previous marraige that they got into many fights...and they turned into cussing and pushing...and he was upfront about it and said that he regreted it. He now has unsupervised visitation with their four year old son...but...THERE WAS A RESTRAINING ORDER PUT ON HIM.

No contact.

And from the little I saw of him, he is vicious in an argument. Then he shuts down.

If he was like that with his ex, no wonder she flipped out and felt frozen...

everyone at his church say she is the one that violated some code...and left the faith. I dont know if I agree.

I heard something that I probably shouldnt have but one girl told me that she heard that there was pinching and kicking going on, too. hmmmmmm. he played himself off as a victim and I beleived him. he was sincere. very convincing. very sorry that he was like that but said that God had changed him.

then he just disappeared on me. just vanished. and im thinking that God just did me and my son the ultimate rescue job...he spared me the tragedy of that in a marraige while still giving me the learning opportunity.

Do I feel insane? yep. sometimes. sometimes i think im going to lose it. like, did I imagine all that stuff? all those prayers and all that sincerity? I dont know. But I do know that Ive been given a new chance. I still worry (panic) that he/my past will catch up with me...that somehow, someway I wont ever be safe...but I knwo thats just part of being part of an abusive home, too. always vigilant...always looking over the shoulder.

Im so glad that you all are here. please give me any and all feedback you feel led to. thanks!!!

August 24, 2005
10:51 am
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Lass
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Sweetie,

You at least were aware and awake enough to see it coming, recognize the signs. While you didn't do the leaving, God watched out for you. In my experience, each time this happens, we do get more aware and wary, but once sex hormones kick in, we are blinded and can get blindsided. Water seeks its own level. If we are healthy, those around us will be. I am working to get healthy...and very much understand. Was married to an full -out abuser, and second husband better but not good. Heart goes out to all of us...feeling less alone. Love, Lass

August 24, 2005
10:56 am
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readyforachange
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I'm going to paste something here that was over on the Liberation Brew side....it sounds like it applies in your situation.

FROM GOD

To: YOU Date: TODAY From: GOD - The Boss! Subject: YOURSELF Reference: LIFE

This is God. Today I will be handling All of your problems for you. I do Not need your help. So, have a nice day.

I love you.

GOD

PS

And, remember....

If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do Not attempt to resolve it yourself !! Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. I will get to it in MY TIME. All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not yours.

P.S.S. Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now

If you find yourself stuck in traffic; Don't despair. There are people in this world for whom driving is an unheard of privilege.

Should you have a bad day at work; Think of the man who has been out of work for years.

Should you despair over a relationship gone bad; Think of the person who has never known what it's like to love and be loved in return.

Should you grieve the passing of another weekend; Think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a week to feed her children.

Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance; Think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.

Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror; Think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had hair to examine.

Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what is life all about, asking what is my purpose? Be thankful. There are those who didn't live long enough to get the opportunity.

Should you find yourself the victim of other people's bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities; Remember, things could be worse. You could be one of them!

Should you decide to send this to a friend; Thank you, you may have touched their life in ways you will never know!

Now, you have a nice day,

God

August 24, 2005
1:54 pm
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mamacinnamon
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100P:

Yes, possibly you were saved by God at the most important minute. I thank God he saved you.

Know the signs and watch for them. Not to be paranoid, but to be safe.
There is a "good" someone out there that will treat you right. Just don't get in a hurry to find him.

August 24, 2005
2:13 pm
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kathygy
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readyforachange,

I am very uncomfortable with this. the liberation brew ws created for a reason. You are violating guidelines to post something here from the liberation brew. If you really wanted to share that you could have just directed the person to that web site.

August 29, 2005
9:06 am
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SUSIE BABY
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i say you and your son were spared from this type of guy. it realy suck's we can't believe what people tell us,that's why it's up to us to investigate these people. even then,like mine,EVEYONE said "WHAT A "GOOD" GUY" only after we broke up did i hear"OH,YOU MET THE MEAN CHIP" why in the hell didn't they say this in the begining when i was asking question's????? well, i guess i didn't ask the "right" one's. in the future,i'll sound like a reporter. KEEP THE FAITH,SUSAN

August 29, 2005
11:03 am
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StronginHim77
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readyforachange...

I liked what you shared. It was very comforting and encouraging. Thank you.

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