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I am worried about my friend
December 11, 2000
2:26 pm
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red730
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One of my closest friends from college is going through some really ruff times right now. Her ex left her and their child penniless and her parents are making her mad.

I wan to be able to help her but I honestly have no clue as how to go about it. I keep trying to encourage her to go to her group but she just chickens out saying she will go next time.

I want her to get help. To make her stronger but I am afraid that if I push her to far she may end up hating me.

December 11, 2000
5:07 pm
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rc101
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Hi. Is there someone else that she is close to that can also talk to her about getting help? If there are enough people saying the same thing, maybe she'll get the help that she needs. I hope you will let me know what happens.

December 11, 2000
6:05 pm
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Molly
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You can only help some one as much as they are willing to help them selves, let her work it out on her own, that way when she gets to the end of the tunnel, she can own her own light.

January 2, 2001
1:24 am
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red730lt
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She did finally decide on her own to go the therapy. Which is good. Yet now the her ex and his family are threating to take custody from her saying she is an unfit mother. Which is totaly unture.

Also her ex keeps calling her saying that he is going to kill himself and take her and their son with them. She can not even stay in her parents house alone. If she is she needs to be hidden.

I just have no cule if i am saying the right things or if I am doing more damage. I told her that I am here for her to listen at any time.

And to top it all off..she found her married father making out with a stranger in public. She called me crying and I had no clue what to say except that I am sorry.

She needs someone to be there for her and only her...but I do not want to hamper her in any way.

January 4, 2001
9:26 pm
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gingerleigh
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Wow, when it rains sh*t it pours, doesn't it? That's awful!

As far as the ex threatening her and baby with death, I think that's illegal, n'est pas? The police and court orders can protect her from him. But she needs to make that call herself to get protection.

She's in therapy, that's great! I'm not sure if I agree with the statement that "she needs someone to be there for her and ONLY her"... she needs the love and support of you and her close friends/family/support group. She most especially needs the love and support of HERSELF.

She's taking the right steps. Be patient. She might just need some time to get further down her road to recovery.

January 4, 2001
11:54 pm
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janes
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She does need to call the police about the threats...leave a "paper trail" so to speak in case of a custody battle.

"Caller I.D." or an answering machine could help her screen her calls

good luck

January 5, 2001
3:15 am
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red730_lt
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When I lasted talked to her she told me that she had taken out several restraining orders out on her ex and his family. And that she has started a paper trail like you have suggested.

She has been sounding a bit more upbeat. She claims that it was from her drugs that the doctor perscribed for her.

When i made the statement that I wanted to be there for her and only her...i just ment that I wanted her to know that she did not need to worry that i was talking with her ex or anyone else about her. You are right in the fact that she needs to love and support herself.

Thanks

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