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i am so smitten w/this guy. will he call???
January 20, 2005
8:46 am
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november
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you guys know the story where in school he wasn't cute and then he grows up and becomes the hunk. well, i had this happen. this guy i went to school with practically all my life, he was my 6th grade boyfriend lol.. anyway, i have been running into him at the store and he always says hey come out to the club. we have this club in town that i never go to but alot of the singles my age do. anyway i did go last friday night and this man is so gorgeous and so nice. i had a really good time, it wasn't a date and i had friends there but at the end of the night he danced with me and then walks me to my car. he kisses me goodnight and i nearly fall over. lol.. i mean there is such a thing as music lol.. anyway i know he has my number but he hasn't called. he made comments that i am still prettier than ever, and that i had know idea how he had a crush on me in high school etc. and he said he would call but he is so "weirded out by seeing me after all this time" i said weirded out yucky weirded out? and he said no but it would take him a few days to figure this out. anyway he hasn't called. i am sure he gets plenty of attention from the women but he did make it a point to come around and mark his territory so to speak. lol.. do guys take a long time to call? or do you think he isn't going to? he was dating this woman (aeorobic champion) and they kind of have broken things off it sound like but i don't know if i am any match for her anyway but was he just being polite? i would love to date this man. anyway what do you guys think???

January 20, 2005
8:48 am
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hi November, usually guys call me within 3 days...sometimes a week, if more than a week goes by, i would wonder, cuz if he really did like you he would be interested and he would call...just my opinion.

January 20, 2005
8:50 am
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november
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thanks camer, well i guess i will just have to wait and see. darn, sure will be disappointed .

January 20, 2005
10:33 am
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marley
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november -

I would just wait it out with this guy but don't call. Especially if you here music and all of that - expectations are the number one killer of romance!

how are you doing with the other situation?

January 20, 2005
11:34 am
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hey marley, how are you? well, the the situation with my daughter is going ok i guess, i am just putting my thoughts on hold on that and just try to be there. as far as my friend that wasn't talking to me, i think you talked with me on that as well. we are back talking and things are normal with us. he got jealous the other night when i was out due to this other guy that i met and my friend happened to be there as well. you are funny.. if i here music lol.. well i actually didn't hear music but i was blown away and like shocked. i don't know if you have ever experienced that. i have been so guarded if you will. i mean i couldn't feel anything at all for anyone, it just wasn't there and then "bam" , this guy just totally blows me away. i hope he calls. i haven't heard anything though. what is up with you?

January 20, 2005
2:20 pm
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marley
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OMG we are like in bizarro world - same. Things got screwy with my ex and he got all jealous and weird about the new guy - so I have decided to take a serious break from that whole deal, he just doesn't want me to be happy I think. But yeah I met this guy and we are taking things really slow, but I can hardly think straight when he is around. I feel like I am 12 or something. I mean I am usually really outgoing and forward and stuff and with this guy I just walk around with stars in my eyes - waiting for him to call. It is a little stressful, but I saw him last night so I don't think he will call for a bit. He had hinted at going out again this saturday but he knows how twisted I get about my ex and he is just getting out of a similar thing. All I can say is that being smitten totally rocks! But I still freak and get scared and want him to call. So we shall see. What was going on with your daughter?

January 20, 2005
2:43 pm
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man are we at the same place or what marley.. i know i just walk around like that as well. starrey eyed... but for me he hasn't called me, we seen each other out friday night and spent some time together talking but other than that i haven't talked to him. he is so good looking and it is funny that he had a crush on me in school and at that time i would not have given him the time of the day. maybe this is payback time. gosh, i hope not. as far as my daughter, i guess we didn't talk about that. man, that thread got alot of attention. i was concerned that she might have some bio tendencies. just more chummy with her friends than ihad ever been and it just didn't seem right. i have know idea if i am right or not. i just being there and see what happens.

January 20, 2005
2:55 pm
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Hey November!

I tend to agree with others on here: wait it out. I know it sucks. He will call you, I think, though. It seems like he was glad to see you again.

I hope all this works out for you, and that things are going well with your daughter...

Love,

Ren'ai

January 20, 2005
3:02 pm
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november
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hey ren'ai, how are you? thanks, i hope he does call me. he made comments like he was glad to see me. such as "you just don't know", or "you are as pretty as you ever was", so i know he was attracted to me i think, or he was giving me some lines. which they really weren't neccessary so hopefully he is "smitten" with me too. lol.. or at least curious enough to give me a call. this waiting stuff is so hard.

January 20, 2005
3:52 pm
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marley
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november -

I hope he calls you too! I think we are in the same place! For me though, right now I am content with the ways things are going. We have an understanding and things are taking their own time now. Trying not to freak out it just like trying not to call, but I am working really hard on breaking prior patterns of behavior.

I wouldn't worry too much about your daughter. I didn't read the thread though - sorry :(.

Oh and just for S & G you should go to the YES/NO Oracle and it will tell you if he will call you or not;). http://www.facade.com/yesno/

January 20, 2005
8:24 pm
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ok, it has been since monday night that i talked to this person. he just said "talk to you later" and i haven't talked to him since. i am starting to panic here. i hate this. how do i accept that he isn't going to call. he mentioned that he was "picky" when i was asking about dating etc. obviously if the woman he was seeing is a aeorbic champion but i just have the feeling that i am not up to standard for him. its funny i think i am really but because of my issues i appear to be really bad off, i have just moved into this house that i bought really cheap, i don't even have a t.v. in my living room, i don't have furniture in my dining room, its totally a diaster and in the middle of being painted, really old carpet in there and we don't even go in there, i will be replacing that next month. but i did this where we would have money, i make good money, but i was paying out the rear for a house and we couldn't afford nice things or take trips etc. so i did this, well i just did it 6 wks ago so it isn't together yet. so i look very unsuccessful and that is important to a certain degree. i know we say that all that doesn't matter, and its the person etc. but really i mean if i met someone i would take that into consideration and wonder. we are looking for stability and i don't display that. my car is even in the shop so i didn't have a car. lol.. i look really bad. it is kind of funny but i may not ever get the chance to show him different. i really got caught off guard. i need to accept this, i feel so bad.

January 20, 2005
8:27 pm
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picture "Sweet Home Alabama", the movie, the girl comes back because she wants a divorce from the guy back home, he still lives in that house and it still is run down. little does she know that he has a thriving business and is doing great. well, i have a great job, i am doing great and feeling more whole than i ever have but he may not be around to see it. i know he isn't worth it if he doesn't come back around etc. i still don't know if i would come back around either.

January 21, 2005
1:55 am
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marley, ren'ai, anybody out there. he hasn't called. why would anyone say all what he said and not call you. what is up? i mean i could understand if he was trying to get you to sleep with him but that wasn't it so what in the world was all that about?

January 21, 2005
2:36 am
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workinonit
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november, did you consider calling him?

or, have you thought about being unavailable? Try to stay aloof woman! Don't get all codep as we do! Who is the important one here? YOU!!!!

He needs you more than you need him! Keep that upper most in your mind. Be strong, not needy, big bad place for you to go. You have time alone under your belt. You do not need this guy and for all you know, he's a complete loser and user! You really don't know him.

I want to see you feeling good not bad about this time. Remember what he said as truth to boost you but, do not depend on his words to keep you there~! Tell yourself how pretty you are and any man should be happy to be around you!!!

Bottom line.

January 21, 2005
9:01 am
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november
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THANK YOU WORKINONIT, you are so right. good words... so true... i don't have a clue who he is now. i will do just that. why do i go there in my head like that. i mean you would think it was the end of the world. its not. i am embarrassed about the house thing though. but you are so right.

January 21, 2005
10:32 am
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marley
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november -

I don't know why men don't call when they say they will. I think sometimes they intend to call and then think the better of it. Or right after they say it they meet the woman of their dreams or something. Who knows - they are fickle fickle creatures, worse than women!

I know what you mean about the house situation. I just bought a house like 5 weeks ago too and I still need to paint the interior and clean the gutters and get a new fence. I am building a garage in the back so my yard is totally destroyed. Something is wrong with the hot water in the shower - no pressure. But you know what? I love having my own house! I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT! and saturday when I went to the Dr.'s apartment - I thought YUCK he lives in an apartment - with carpeting (cuz I have hard wood floors) and even though his two bedroom apartment is bigger than my entire house and nicer and had a fireplace and yada yada yada - I OWN my house. It is a huge accomplishment to own something! Congrats.

By the way, funniest thing you mentioned Sweet Home Alabama - I was thinking about that movie this morning :)!

January 21, 2005
10:52 am
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my house is along the lines of that house in "Sweet Home Alabama", this guy owns his own house and land. his house is a mobile home in the country, i am sure his mom and dad helped him years ago get his property, they live out there as well nearby. not sure where exactly. that night was like you got your big break and your on stage and you don't know the song. lol.. i know that is drama there lol.. but you feel like saying just give me a chance, come back in six months, it will all be different. i have hard wood floors as well, i had to re do them, they had paint all over them. it took me two days for the living room alone to get the paint off. the dining area is really big and it is the room with the yucky carpet, a 220 wire just hanging along the wall that somebody installed wrong. i am having that removed. it just looks bad. i live in a great neighborhood though, the houses around me are way up there in value, so i got this house as a steal, but how do you explain that to someone. oh well, if he doesn't come back around then that is just that.

January 21, 2005
11:04 am
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marley
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I think it is awesome that you bought a fixer upper - it will keep you busy. My house was in pretty good shape - NO PAINT to remove! HA! That sounds like a lot of work! And you are right about the guy, I mean if he is judging whether or not he calls you on superficial stuff like that - he isn't worth your time!

January 21, 2005
11:41 am
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i am in the mortgage business and i bought this house at first to fix up and sale and i wasn't planning to move in it. but then i got to thinking man wouldn't that be great to fix up and have so much less stress financially. it has been a sacrifice but i am so glad i did and if people don't understand that and look down their noses then so be it. when it all said and done and they have that high dollar mtg i will be in the back yard sipping tea on my deck by the pool. lol.. i am going to refinance in 12 mths and have a pool put in the back yard with a nice deck etc. i just got back from the track, i am on vacation today, i am fixing to start tanning as well, not just because of this guy, i was jogging 2 miles and tanning last summer and i started seeing my x briefly and before that was all over i had quit jogging, stopped tanning adn started smoking again, so now i have to start all over. i was the perfect girl for this guy then, but he doesn't know all that. anyway, how are things going with you??

January 21, 2005
12:13 pm
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marley
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things are awesome! but omg you sound just like me. I was all working out and in shape for a while and then I started smoking again and just gave up, but now I am back into it again - and man does it help my self esteem etc to just be active and around other people! I don't jog anymore b/c of ankle injuries and bad knees, but I do judo and yoga and other aerobic stuff. (I have started tanning too - although not for a guy 😉 either, or whatever! ha!) I think you have to take the same attitutde toward men that you have for your house though. I mean you are willing to put the time in because you know in the end it will pay off. How many times do we chase after the best looking guy to impress our friends and end up with a huge mortgage that we hate?

January 21, 2005
12:40 pm
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My guess...he is scared to call. Think about it. You were his high school crush. Then he sees you after all this time and you are still the apple of his eye. If he felt like you didn't want to have anything to do with him in high school, he might have the same insecurities now.

Why not give him a call and ask him to meet you for lunch--something casual. Start out trying to be friends. We can all use more of those...

Love,

Ren'ai

January 21, 2005
12:51 pm
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grama sally
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To November.
You don't sound like a loser at all to me, just because your house is run down, It sounds to me like you really have it together and a very smart move to go to a less expensive house. sooo very very smart.
There are so many guys that would give their eye teeth to have a woman like you., instead of someone who spends, spends spends, just to look good on the surface.You are all together.:)
Have you ever thought the guy might have gone back to his girlfriend, or maybe doesn't want to start anything up again with anyone new yet.
There are alot of fish in the sea and trust me he won't be the last, if its meant to be he'll call. It's been long enough now if its over a week... that if he wanted to call he would.
You can't make him want to, he has to want to on his own.
Good luck and keep up the great job on your finances.:)

January 21, 2005
1:35 pm
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thanks everyone, i just think that he was totally caught off guard and he hasn't resolved the issue with the girlfriend and i scared him i am sure because i was so myself. not at all nervous or anything. that was what was so great, i have never in my life been that comfortable around a man. anyway, he is probably also been trying so hard to live up to the standard that is put out there and since i am not like that he would definitely have to realize that he has been chasing the wrong dream if it is the best car, or the best house etc. and sometimes people can't let go of that. and someone like me would probably seem strange to step into your world for a moment and be not like what you are used to. this is what i think. so i am just going on with me and get back on track with myself. and i still have the hope that he calls. but i can't dwell on it. right?

January 21, 2005
1:41 pm
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oh marley i love the "high mtg that we hate" theory. lol.. thats funny.. how true.

January 21, 2005
2:02 pm
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november - I feel the same way about the Dr. and he has issues with his ex (who I am no longer entirely so sure is as EX as he has indicated . . .) but still he is wonderful and I just love being around him!!! I don't think the Dr. will call me, but I know I will see him at least once a week, so I don't worry about it. If it is meant to be - he will call you! I know that sucks to hear, but it is so true!!!! In the meantime, sounds like you have a project with the carpet!

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