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I am scared and depressed!!!
February 15, 2006
9:12 pm
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Rasputin
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I was talking today with the building manager about a problem with one of the tenants when suddenly she changed the subject and told me about a tenant who is nice man who works as musician and works in company and studies at college.

He was nice man who helped me a lot, I've been keeping him in my prayers for a long period and have not seen him or contacted him even tho he only lives 2 blocks from my place. He's only 46-47 years old who deceased of heart attack.

Ever since I heard the news today I became nervous, stressed and tearful. I was praying to God to give me some news about some of my friends and acquaintances and here is one of them.

Is it normal to have these emotions?

February 15, 2006
9:17 pm
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loverbee
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Rasputin, here is what I have to say about your emotions. WHO CARES IF IT IS NORMAL??? You are feeling them and need support right now so I don't know whether they are normal and I don't care. Just know that I have been depressed and in severe states of panic before and I know it is not fun, but know that there are people out there and on this site who will support you in your time of need. So just feel the emotions so you can figure out how to fight it a little bit at a time. Don't be ashamed, just know we are here to support you.

February 15, 2006
9:35 pm
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Rasputin
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Thanks Loverb. You know just typing out our emotions and frustrations bring forth some relaxation and comfort.

Oh I hope I will feel better soon. Ever since Feb started, I had a bout of depression. I pray it will pass so soon.

Yes, I am crying right now just like a child and I will indulge giving freedom to my tears without any shyness or restraint. I read somewhere that crying is very healing.

February 15, 2006
9:39 pm
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mamacinnamon
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Ras:

You will have whatever emotions come to the top. It is normal for you. I would say it was quite the shock to find out your friend died. I am sorry about that. Now is the time for you to grieve. It's ok to have the emotions you are having. Work on the most uncomfy one first and then the lessers.

As Loverbee said... we are all here for you.

February 15, 2006
10:14 pm
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Shaney
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Oh Ras. No worries - I too, get very down when I hear bad news like that. It makes me consider all of my other friends that I haven't talked to in a while, and many times news like that, although sad, may be the catalyst that gives me the motivation to be a better friend. Maybe that nervousness you feel comes from the little fire that God has just lit beneath you. Maybe he's letting you know that your friends love you and want to hear from you? Or maybe reaching out to someone who is an acquaintance, may blossom into a wonderful friendship? Be honored to have known him and be happy knowing that he's in a peaceful place right now. You're normal, my friend... extremely normal. You're also kind, compassionate and tender-hearted - so cry your eyes out if that's what you feel like doing. But know that I'll be hanging out until you're smiling and at peace again. :o)

February 15, 2006
10:17 pm
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Rasputin
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Thanks Mamac for the love and support. It really feels much better when we let ourselves cry and weep.

((((AAC))))XOXOXO

February 15, 2006
10:40 pm
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Rasputin
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Thanks ((((Shaney))) you are a sweetheart and I love you so. Your kind words were like a balm to my soul!!! XOXOXO

February 16, 2006
12:34 am
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Shaney
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Anytime, Sweet Ras. You're easy to love!

February 16, 2006
1:23 am
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I wish I was In love
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Day by day , its ok to be sad but tomorrow is a new day get up get pretty and face the new day in the name of jesus and ask him for guidance and peace and remenber the most wonderful thing God created was one day after another , what came today is gone what tomorrow will bring will be and you will be able to go on and you will say and this shall pass and be stronger and stronger, for now cry all you want its necessary but let your friends and family know how you feel and continue to express your feelings ok i'm sorry for your loss, i truly am , i recently lost one of my best friends that helped me out alot, of a sudden heart attack, i still dont believe his gone he was 52 and died if a sudden heart attack 3 months ago.i'm still in shock- your here today and all of the sudden your gone, it can happen to any of us, enjoy your life as much as you can , try with all your heart to make everyday a better day, i suffer with depression , and everday is very hard for me , I struggle every day so as to not think that life is not worth living, because of all the things that occur in this world and in my life, the only thing that keeps me going is the faith i have in the lord - I go to church alot and try to keep focused on what the lord has promised-- THAT HE WILL NEVER LET US DOWN. DONT BE AFRAID THE LORD IS WITH YOU.

February 17, 2006
6:56 pm
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Rasputin
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Thanks "IWish" for your beautiful and spiritual post. Yes, many of us just do not realize that life itself is a great gift and it can end at any moment.

How many times I told this man not to take life too seriously. He is workaholic, like I used to be, works in company and in the evening works as strolling musician. How many times I told him "Money is not every thing" relax, unwind, have fun. Never would he listen to my advice.

He once told me about his gf that she was the relaxed playful type; he even described her as lazy. Did he learn from her? I don't think so.

Did he take my advice? I does not look like that. When people do not listen to my advice, I simply back off and leave them, pray for them. I really do not want to be codep with them. I have my own problems and need to take care of Me.

This is the result. He had heart attack at an age that is not that old. His gender is also a big role. We women are protected by our hormons, (I can't remember that hormon), so we are more lucky to some extent than men.

I pray that right now he is resting and learning to relax in heaven.

May his soul rest in peace!

Thanks to (((ALL))) for the support!

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