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I am lost.....he's a pedophile.
December 30, 1999
12:13 pm
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ladyb
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My ex husband was arrested and charged with child molestion, 5 counts. This has left me lost and emotionally numb, because not only did he hide it well, i knew 4 of the five victims. I have nowhere to turn- are there others that have been through this?

December 30, 1999
3:17 pm
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hsuzie
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My heart hurts for you.. not an easy situation for any one involved.. first and foremost the children, who have been hurt.... their families.. friends and you.. all who thought they "knew him" and now wonder who this person is... when you are comfortable talking about it more.... find someone, or two or three who can listen and help you sort out the confusion you must be feeling... this is a good place to start...

my grandfather is a pedophile.. i am a csa survivor, but he was not my perp... my mother was a victom of him though.. i had two perps... although our situations differ, i can understand a little of what you might be feeling.. i can tell you what i know about myself when i feel numb... i know i deliberately turn off my emotions.. often and sometimes forlong periods of time, when there are too many or too severe to have to deal with at the moment.. hence, the numb feeling.. although ideally it is not always the best thing to do.. it does serve its purpose.,. gives me time to step back, breath,,, and put myself into a stronger safer position for when i finally do have to tackle these feelings.. i can not pressume this is what is happening to you.. but maybe it will shed a little understanding.. please, do not push youself.. be gentle and kind to yourself.. i am so sorry this sad story is having to be told,yet again..

Know i care..
hsuzie

December 31, 1999
7:14 am
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lost soul
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I do not know all these, but, I know its very hard on you.I am not good at words,but I can only tel you from my "level" that , you have nothing to do with all these because THIS IS NOT ONLY NOT YOUR PROBLEMS BUT NOT YOUR FAULTH.
Well, I hope that someone out there can offer you better advise.
Take care!!!

December 31, 1999
10:38 am
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KTHOMAS
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My sister was married to a man that molested my daughter. I sent him to jail. It was very hard. I had trusted him and even encouraged a relationship with them hoping he could be a father figure because hers was absent. Of course the guilt was tremendous on me.

It hits hard...there are support groups around...look in your local paper or call an agency that counsels the victims...you too are a victim.

My prayers are with you...

January 1, 2000
7:30 am
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Brittainy
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I understand. My Father abused me for many years and I have a feeling he is abusing his grand children from his first marriage. I don't know what to do as my stepmother knows nothing of the abuse I suffered. I dont't want to tell her because I love her so much and don't want to hurt her. I welcome any advice. Thank you

January 3, 2000
3:17 pm
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ladyb
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Brittany,
Please..Please please....If you love your step-mother as much as you do TELL SOMEONE NOW. Hiding it will only allow your father to claim more victims and distory more lives. My ex husband would've never been caught if my 13 year old neice hadn't had the courage to tell that he had attacked and almost raped her....That gave the courage to the other vistims to come forward. And there is still my 3 year old daughter who is showing signs that he may have abused her to. Tell someone now. Keep talking till someone listens.
PLEASE.

January 4, 2000
6:11 am
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jmag56
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any women's services in your area organization usually has counceling for the adults and children. They also usually hold group meetings. If they do not personally, they will know where to go and their services are free. There is help out there ladyb. and brittainy the same for you when in doubt seek professional advice they keep everything confidential and they will also advocate and support you or the other children through the whole ordeal. stopping him far out weighs your step mothers feelings

January 12, 2000
10:45 am
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ladyb
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UPDATE on this:

I will be going to see my child, and i will be assisting the police in hopefully getting a confession out of my ex for hurting my daughter.

January 12, 2000
11:41 am
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hsuzie
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best wishes to you.. it is important to show the support and strength to your daughter.. i commmend you..
hsuzie

January 18, 2000
10:24 pm
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KTHOMAS
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ladyb...

how did it go????? I am praying for you and your daughter...

Karin

January 21, 2000
5:43 pm
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champain
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September 29, 2010
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omg.. i think im guna cry....i cant belive all that ive read.. i have a son dont no how u guys could handle alll this ...my thoughts r with...tears....../=

February 2, 2000
10:23 am
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Brittainy
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Hi Ladyb. Thanks for your words of courage. I've plucked up courage and have spoken to my Step Mother and I was shocked because she was not surprised and had suspected a long time ago. It is a huge relief to me and hopefully to her grandchildren. I will keep you in touch with how I get on.

February 3, 2000
12:17 am
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KTHOMAS
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Glad to hear from you Brittainy, And glad you have made it through the first step of healing...

I am praying for you.

Karin

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