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I am letting life pass me by
September 28, 2000
11:44 pm
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Hile
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September 30, 2010
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I recently got married to a man that I dated for 12 years. I am having problems thinking about all those wasted years. I want a family now and I have told him so. He trys to pacify me and say sometime. I am tired of waiting on sometime I'm 32. I can't get him to talk to me. Generally I'm messed up all the way around. Both my parents passed away within two months of each other about 5 years ago. My dad was sick but my mom got sick suddenly. They were wonderful parents and when I lost them something inside me died I have problems feeling anything. I always had alot of ambition, but I have lost it all. How do you get drive and ambition back? I have no authority figures left to look up too! My husband is no help. I sometimes think I want a child to fill the void left when my parents passed away. Has anybody got any advice?

September 29, 2000
8:10 am
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lucinda
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hile

im sorry that you have lost your parents mine are still alive and i could only imagine the pain and heart ache this would be. just in the last week i have thinking if you want something so bad, you are the only one that can make this happin,[oh oops i dont mean the sexual bit] do this for your happiness you need to do what your heart tells you, as every day that you have lived is one less your going to have, some times if you can care for a friends baby for a few days while they have a break this is a good way to see if these feeling are real or your just feeling clucky,
well ill sign off now talk again soon love lucinda

September 29, 2000
8:33 am
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lucinda
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of course you would want to have a baby to carry your family on and like i say just keep trying to get him to listen and then if that fails i would tell him this is how it is and i want it now.

September 29, 2000
6:34 pm
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Molly
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Sounds like the bio clock is ticking with the child thing, but the parents dying thing is exactly the same feeling that my sis and I have, my husband came home last week and was stating that his friend, male only child, whos mother passed away 3 years ago is still whinning about his deceased mother. I said you just wait, my ex who lost his father 2 years ago, and his mother is not well is stuck just as well, I think there is something that has yet to be addressed by the psychologists, its horrible, not that I don't have role models, its the strange feeling of abandonment? My youngest daughter left for college at the same time, so I truly was lost no longer a daughter, or mother. I got a dog. And I must admit I am sorta confused, I have this panic like feeling like this is the last few years that I have and I don't want to waste them, but lack direction and most of all motivation most days, like is this all there is, at least you still have mother hood to look fore ward to, and what a blessing. Most men don't get it, until the 2x4 hits them. Talk to someone, if indeed it is to fill a void, boy what a void and spill over, a child is the most demanding the most important responsibility that is so consuming it is incomprehensible. The most precious most gratifing, heart ripping, scariest thing that you can experience.

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