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husband lies....what to do to regain trust?
April 24, 2000
1:10 am
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helpneeded
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September 24, 2010
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My husband lied to me 3 times in the last 3 months regarding drugs...what should I do? I cant even look at him and its been 2 days since i spoke to him. I cant do it.

April 24, 2000
9:17 am
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janes
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You can't do what? Live with him anymore? Believe him?

Is he in treatment at all for drugs?

If his drug use is interfering with your realtionship (which it is) he needs rehab and you needs to set some boundaries regarding drugs and lies.

You will need to be strong.

You need to decide if this is the life you want and so does he.

Good luck.

April 25, 2000
4:45 am
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hazza
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September 24, 2010
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HI there,
been there done it felt the pain!
janes says it all really.
what is happening to you and the way you are treated is actually being determined by YOU.
this is the hardest part to understand but once you do, you will realise that you can stop this pain. but the answer may not be the one you want.
you may not be able to have the relationship you want with this particular man, that is as much down to him as to you,
but you can have a life where this man is not lying to you and using drugs, but you need to demand it above all else.
once you DEMAND that real change occurs in your life, you can move forward but it is a journey for you alone, be repard for that and be happy with that and you will not be cause pain by any one elses behaviour.

How do you know he is lying to you? does he tell you or do you find out yourself? the reason he feels he can have both YOU and the DRUGS is because you are letting him.
if you don't want the drugs in yoru life then demand that, but beware of wanting an ideal outscome that is beyond your own control. if he chooses to continue lying and using drugs there is nothing you can do about it. all you can do is not tolerate it.
maybe he values himself and the relationship above the drugs? may be not. only he can decide that and only once you have made it clear that he can't have both.
i spent along time going along with behaviour that was making me deep ly unhappy. when i decided that enough was enough, things got a lot better for me. i realised how i was letting this happen to myself rather than risk losing this man who was cousing me pain. once i realise that my own happiness was above and beyond any relationship, things improved.
peace
Hazza

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