Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
Husband in Rehab for Second time in a Year
February 16, 2006
2:03 am
Avatar
al2006
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Am I codependent? My husband has been struggling with sobriety for over 5 years, and all this time I thought I was being supportive, however, my dear friend S last night told me that I'm sicker than he is because I need him to need me and that by my actions, I'm keeping us both sick. I am not responsible for someone elses alcoholism. That much I know. I've tried Alanon, but if I didn't want to kill myself when I walked in there, I sure did when I walked out. It seemed to me like a bunch of women whining and moaning about their husbands. He checked in to a rehab on Monday, for the second time in a year. I have done everything I know to do to help the situation to include go to AA meetings with him, probably a mistake, I admit. I'm starting to resent the whole damn thing, but I don't want to leave, I love him. I committed to "in sickness and health", right? I just want a normal life with normal problems. Help!!!!!!!!!!!

February 16, 2006
6:06 am
Avatar
codyrn
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I feel your pain....what I finally did as I had a hard time stopping being a control freak, is I read all I could on codependency one day...am going to a counselor and decided to quit enabling myself. I could not look at it that I "had to cut off others" but if I changed my perception and made it about me...drawing a line in the "sand" and then do nothing ....it's been amazing.
People are still running around...but I am being still....in my soul at times anyways.
Now my spouse thinks I am avoiding the problems we have....but that is not true...all I doing is avoiding fixing them.
You might examine your perception of the situation ....and change that...it's given me some peace.
My mind still races...over time that will subside as well ..:)

February 16, 2006
9:25 am
Avatar
CAMER
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 100
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

just don't "enable" him when he drinks and do things for him that he can do himself, cuz this will not help him learn to be sober...not sure of how much of a drinker he is ((drinks till he passes out, or a daily big time drinker??))).....as long as YOUR life doesn't get unhealthy cuz of him, you can just support him in rehab and hope this time will work.

February 16, 2006
5:37 pm
Avatar
al2006
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thank you both for your input. I do enable him all the time, to include packing his bags to go to rehab. I have NO peace in my life. Peace and stillness...what a concept. I'm going to the book store right now to get some books on this.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
36
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110978
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38561
Posts: 714262
Newest Members:
brianwolfe, swright, nina1985, February, lisabaker, robertwalker
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information