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Hurting Heart
July 23, 2005
7:45 pm
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downinthedumps
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September 30, 2010
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I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years now. I'm very insucure and it is ruining our relationship. We have been thru alot as a couple. He recentley has cheated on me in Jan. I found a number in his pocket and I called it was a girl she said she had sex with my boyfriend but the times she said he was with her he was actually with me. I'm so confused and now he said he is going to leave me.

July 23, 2005
8:57 pm
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shyann
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After an incident like that becoming a little insecure is normal. Personally I feel that he is wrong for wanting to leave you for that. If any one should be the bad guy, it should not be you. What did you do wrong? If she's lying-shes that bad guy. If she's telling the truth-he is. You are a concerned girlfriend who has the right to know whats going on and also feel the way you do. Yes, insecurity could take a toll on a relationship. But cheating can instanly destroy one. I'm not understanding why this man is making your insecurity (which is very understanable considering the circumstance) the issue when infidelity (on his part) is in question. The key word to insecurity is SECURE. No mormal human being, even him, would feel very secure after that. Who is this woman? And why is she making these accusations? That should be the focus. Once that is clarified the resolution of the security issue should follow. I think your ok, you may just need someone better.

July 23, 2005
11:51 pm
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sunshine1959
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September 27, 2010
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Hi There,
I think I should call myself Down in the Dumps II tonight. My boyfriend of 4 years was going to leave last weekend, and this weekend he said he had to go out of town to the next state over to work, which is not unusual, he has gone there for work 3 or 4 times, however, everytime he goes, he doesn't call me the evening before he is suppose to work, but I think it is because he's drinking with the guys that he goes with, and basically he has stopped drinking every night for the past 2 years, well, at least I haven't ever recognized it, but know he has when he goes out of town to work. I honestly though, don't know what to believe. I wonder how much time do you put in a relationship? He says he will never change, but he will try to help me feel more secure, so I am not so controlling. He seemed to understand last weekend, but he never called tonight, and tomorrow when he calls, he will say he fell asleep or something. I will never know the truth.
I guess, what we really need to do is trust our intuition. My intuition of mine right now is that he doesn't love me, and I need to break it off, but I am scared. I have a son to raise and we just got a house together (my name is the only one on it though), but if he leaves, I will lose everything, because of how much I went in debt for him. My son will have to change schools for the 5th time, and he's only 11. I feel like giving up, I feel like I am no good. I feel like I am worthless, I feel like a fool.
Please, really think about what you want and need in your life. I am 46, and I feel my life is over, and there is no hope for me ever to have my needs fulfilled, or have my needs respected. I am so very very depressed.
I hope you are young, and have plenty of time, I wish he would go to counseling with you, will he? Have you considered church together? Does he want to change? Does he feel he doesnt' need to? Go with your gut hon, it is most likely right, and be tough, and feel your life with all those who love you.
I am just so tired of failure after failure, please don't go my route.
You Deserve the best, everyone does.

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