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Hurt my husband one to many times with my anger
April 2, 2007
4:28 pm
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allalone
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Let me preface this with I have an anger control problem that has finally put my husband over the edge. We have been married for 6 1/2 years and have a 4 yr. old, 2 yr old and he has a 16 yr old and a 12 yr old. He is now asking for a divorce because of my harsh and disrespectful words that I say to him no matter who is around, including the kids. He say he doesn't love me anymore and that if we don't get divorced that it will only be for the children. This is something that has abeen a problem for years, but I am only now acknowledging it. I now get it and see that I need to change. I contacted a counselor and went 2 times now but found out it will cost us $600 in deductible and then 50% from there. We are not wealthy and I don't know what to do. I am in total control of my anger right now and I plan to for the rest of my life, but my husband refuses to beleive me. Which I can understand. What has been really hard here for me is that I am taking 100% of the responsibility for my anger problem, that he keeps reminding me I have, but he is not taking any responsibility for his part in our problems. Does anyone have any advice on what I can do to continue to control myself in situations where I am feeling hurt and vulnerable and not react with anger. Also should I stay in a marriage where my husband says he doesn't think he could love me again even if I change.

April 2, 2007
5:56 pm
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nappy
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How long has he been feeling like this? I mean is this the first time he is saying that he no longer wants to be in the marriage, or has he been saying this for a long time and you just haven't been listening to him?

Are you angry at your husband or is you angry about other things but just taken it out on your husband?

Nappy

April 4, 2007
12:15 pm
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allalone
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Well this is the first time he has stated that he doesn't love me and that he doesn't want to be married anymore. Is it the first time he has stated that my anger is going to ruin our marriage, NO. I usually get angry as a response to something he has said or done, but that doesn't matter because it is how i respond in my anger that is the problem. I would also say to your first question that because i really didn't mean what i was saying when i was angry then he must not mean what he was saying etc. and that has been the cycle.

April 4, 2007
12:44 pm
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nappy
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Well maybe you can try and work on that problem.
I can't answers that question about whether if he meant what he said. The only person that know that is him.
If you sense that this is a cycle, then you two must break it.
Nappy!

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