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Hurray!! Bonita here and I just wanted to share good news!
October 28, 2006
5:22 am
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bonita1
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I would like to share my good news. To those of you who do not know me and for the dear friends that I have made on these threads...

Hi! My name is bonita and I am co-dependent but in recovery for 1 year 8 mos. After 20 years of being in what I thought was a strong marriage, my eldest daughter disclosed that my husband, her bio dad, had been sexually molesting her throughout her childhood and early adolescence.

Fast forward 2 1/2 years later, I am in the process of a horrific divorce, my husband out of the house through a court order and my children are living with me, but I feel alone and in tremendous emotional pain....

During this low point in my life, I start corresponding with a prison inmate. For 4 years we corresponded; I accepted collect calls; I visited him in prison even though it was out of state. I imagined myself in love with this man and we eventually married when he was released on parole.

To make a long story short, we were together for only 2 days after the wedding and I felt I was with a stranger. The loving guy in the letters, on the phone and in the visitors area was nowhere in sight. He was gone as if he had never existed.

I returned to my home and he stayed in his home state. I never saw him again.

This is the short version of my story. I didn't describe the tears, the heartache, the anguish, the fear of the unknown, the dread of going through the ordeal with CPS There is unimaginable horror, pain and heartbreak here not just from me but from my immediate family too.

So many of you are in this kind of pain and horror. I don't have to describe it because you have experienced it first hand. My heart goes out to you.

On to the news...Yesterday, the judge granted me my annulment. She said it would be as if it had never happened. Thank goodness! Hurray, hurray!!

~~bonita~~

October 28, 2006
8:43 am
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cyndra820
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Bonita,

Congratulations on your recovery and the annulment.

Thank you for sharing your story.

Welcome,
Cyndra

October 28, 2006
3:36 pm
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bonita1
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Thank you, Cyndra! Your congratulations are so appreciated. But I realize now I shouldn't have bothered sharing my good news. Nobody gives a rat's flying sh#@

Great to know that when a person is in recovery they are ignored.

October 28, 2006
3:40 pm
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mj
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Hi Bonita,
I just read your story and I care! I am in recovery too. I agree that it hurts when we feel ignored. Congrats on your annulment and continued recovery!

October 28, 2006
3:43 pm
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cyndra820
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Bonita,

I've just begun recovery and completely understand the being ignored thing.

No one means it. There is a LOT going on right now. People are people wherever you go, even in cyber space.

I don't take it personally. Sometimes it's hard, but hey! Sometimes life is hard.

I'll look for you and MJ.

Take care,
Cyndra

October 28, 2006
3:43 pm
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Jenni
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(((bonita))) Congradulations on your annulment and your recovery. I'm so happy you are free again to move forward and to put this behind you. A clean slate.

Best wishes to you. And I do believe that folks here DO give a rat's flying sh#@. But Saturdays seem to be somewhat slow.

I am happy for your recovery, Bonita. And I remember that "Bonita" means pretty. 😉

Good luck to you!

October 28, 2006
4:19 pm
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Rasputin
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(((Beautiful Bonita))) Nice to see you again, it's been long time. I am sorry for the disillusionment and annulment of your short-lived marriage.

I pray for quick healing and restoration of your soul hon!!!

(((Bonita)))

October 28, 2006
4:24 pm
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justhinking
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Bonita, I just saw your thread and I know how you feel. This is a great ending with a wonderful beginning for you.
Start last and finish first.

October 28, 2006
4:52 pm
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Shaney
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Fajita Pita, mi una fajita mas bonita - What's shakin'? What great news... it's like it never happened, which is GREAT! You couldn't ask for a better outcome. I wish there was someone, like your judge, in all of our lives, erasing our mistakes as we make them! Wouldn't that be nice.
You've come a long way, my friend - it's good to hear some great news coming from the OC. It's hot today, huh? Gotta love so cal for its fall weather. Anyhoo - lotsa love and congrats to you and your GREAT news. Have a good weekend. Have a margarita, fajita pita.

October 28, 2006
9:18 pm
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cyndra820
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See, Bonita, they do care. AND Jenni started a new thread in your honor to let you know people do care.

Cyndra

October 28, 2006
9:46 pm
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Randomwomen2
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((((Bontia)))) I have missed you. I am so glad you were able to get an annulment and that you are still on the road to recovery.

October 29, 2006
2:55 am
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Zinnie
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Bonita,

So happy to hear of your GREAT news.

Sadly, our prisons are a graduate program for manipulators. So, don't feel bad about being sucked it - be PROUD of yourself that you realized after two days - that you were worth so much more!

So? HURRAY FOR YOU!

Much love,

Z.

October 29, 2006
1:13 pm
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smarterone
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Good for you Bonita, i have to admit while reading this, when it came to the part, with the inmate, i froze, cuz i am trying to divorce my husband who is presently in prison. They are good at what they do to survive.
Good luck

October 29, 2006
1:28 pm
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lollipop3
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(((Bonita))),

What happened girl? You were so excitied one minute and angry the next. You know weekends can be slow here...please don't be upset. The best way to resolve your feelings is to come back and talk about it.

I am so happy for you. You have come such a long way and this annulment will give you the opportunity to start fresh and put to practice all the great stuff you have learned during your recovery.

Now COME BACK HERE and talk about it!

Love,
Lolli

October 29, 2006
1:56 pm
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sdesigns
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Bon Bon, girlfrend: I just saw your thread.

First of all, great news on getting rid of the abatross around your neck. Congrats on being able to move ahead w/ your busy life w/out that!

Second, why the cranky pants? You KNOW we love ya!!

SD

October 29, 2006
3:32 pm
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mamacinnamon
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HEY BONITA:

YOU PMSing so something??? Have patience and you'll get posts.

🙂

October 29, 2006
4:37 pm
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bonita1
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(((((((Group Hug)))))))

Yes, mamac! I was PMSing!! LOL

I'm sorry for being cranky! I love you all!!

~~BonBon

Thank you everybody for all of your comments. I'm sitting here with tears streaming down and EGG ON MY FACE! So sorry for the cranky comment. 🙁

October 29, 2006
4:46 pm
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bonita1
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Shaney!!

Fajitas on a pita and a margarita??!!!!

That sounds so good, I'm going to get some. Wanna come?? LOL

Love you, girlfriend...

Bonita with a fajita on a pita and toasting you with a margarita. :))

October 29, 2006
4:59 pm
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bonita1
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Dear smarterone,

"i have to admit while reading this, when it came to the part, with the inmate, i froze, cuz i am trying to divorce my husband who is presently in prison. They are good at what they do to survive."

Thank you for your kind words. Yes, prison inmates are good at deception and manipulation. I would just like to add to all of the women who are thinking of becoming a pen pal with a prison inmate, "Don't Do It!!!"

They are masters of manipulation and pretty soon you will find yourself making phone calls for them to their attorney, to their parole officer, to the prison, sending them candy and money, and all of this crap tht you don't need in your life. It is just adding another complication to your life and in the end they move on to a fresh victim with deeper pockets. Please re-think before you write.

For those women who are already in a pen pal relationship I just offer my best wishes for you. I know you don't want to hear any negativity. I didn't. Good luck to you.

Sincerely,

Bonita

October 30, 2006
3:39 am
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bonita1
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just wanted to bump this up a little because I really want people to think twice before they start writing to an inmate.

October 30, 2006
8:09 am
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Zinnie
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Hey Bonita and fellow posters,

In the spirit of what Bonita just said: "warning others of writing to an inmate" - if any of you need further proof - my original thread here is called "Biggest Mistake of my Life" - and it will show you the depths of deception an inmate/con will go to.

The "Con" does not stand for convict - it is for running a "Con"

Love to all,

Z.

October 31, 2006
1:46 am
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bonita1
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Zinnie!! (((hugs)))

I didn't know you wrote to an inmate too!! I feel your pain. I am going to do a search for your thread and read through it.

Thanks for the love, hon!!

~~Bonita 🙂

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