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Huge day tommorrow--really needing some support
May 21, 2007
1:20 am
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loverbee
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Well, Tommorrow, for the first time in 24 years, I am hoping I am going to find out who my biological father is. My mother had an affair that resulted in me. For 24 years I was under the impression that that the man who raised me was my father...but he wasn't and now I am going to confront my mother about it tommorrow. I guess technically it is today. I am very nervous and I am extremely eager to just get it overwith. I hope it goes well. I will post as soon as I talk to her.

May 21, 2007
1:24 am
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fantas
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Loverbee, Wow, that is really huge. I wish you all the best. Stay strong and clear minded. I hope that tomorrow gives you all the answers you are seeking. I send you positive energy!!

May 21, 2007
1:55 am
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loverbee
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thanks fantas. I don't know what tommorrow is going to give me. For all I know, my mother may not even know who my real father is. I just wat her to admit that I am not related to the man that I thought was my dad. i just want the lying to stop.

May 21, 2007
2:48 am
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Loverbee,

Maybe closure isn't the right word? But hopefully after tomorrow the truth that you find will give you some sense of peace, no matter what you discover.

be strong,
ella

May 21, 2007
3:41 am
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sleepless in uk
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good luck Loverbee

sending you positive vibes and wishes for strength

sleepless

May 21, 2007
4:03 am
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ggfred4
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loverbee, this is a courageous step, the confrontation. Good luck today and let us know how it goes.

gg

May 21, 2007
5:03 am
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wannabe
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loverbee,

all the best, hope you find peace.

May 21, 2007
8:31 am
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Isis
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loverbee...

Stay strong and keep your chin up.

Best of luck today, I hope it goes well for you. Please let us know how it went.

Isis

(((loverbee)))

May 21, 2007
8:38 am
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At_it_Again
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Loverbee,

Good luck today! I hope you find the answers you need.

My father left when I was born and I've only seen him once since which was an accident. When I was 18, his mom asked if he wanted to see me when I was in town and he said no. I was glad because I would have let him have it, but now I wish I had that opportunity!

What do you plan to do once you find out who it is?

May 21, 2007
9:45 am
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CAMER
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(((GOOD LUCK!!)))) keep us posted

May 21, 2007
10:13 am
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loverbee
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Well, I just called my mom and she didn't pick up. I am going to try her later today too. As for what I am going to do once I find out who it is, that depends. I am hoping I can meet him. But that is only if he is still alive or if she even knows who it is. Supposedly she went to some kind of sex wife swapping party so there may have been multiple partners. Wow what a mess.

May 21, 2007
10:36 am
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balancesekr
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loverbee,
My best friend has a very similiar situation to you. She didn't know who her father was until she was 16, her mother had an affair as well. I know it must be really painful to not know, my friend felt really deceived and the rest of her family has always treated her differently because of this. It was really difficult for her back then when she initially found out who he was. He actually had passed away by the time she found out, but it gave her a sense of closure and identity to know who he was.

Good luck to you. Stay strong. Hopefully this will be a strenghtening experience for you. Keep posting!
b

May 21, 2007
10:43 am
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loverbee
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The man I thought was my father raised me from day one until I was an adult. He was extremely abusive verbally and emotionally and really very mean. He finally disowned me when I was 18 and I came home to find all my things in the parking lot in garbage bags. His family however has been very supportive of me emotionally and financially and has told me that they don't think of me any differently. However, thats great and dandy but it doesn't change the fact that he didn't accept me and to a certain degree, neither did my mother. Hopefully I will find out something today.

May 21, 2007
10:44 am
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ScaredinMichigan
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loverbee...

Good luck to you today. I hope that you find the peace that you are looking for. I hope that she is open and willing to talk to you about it. You need this for you. It takes a lot of courage to do what you are doing.

Love & hugs...

Mich

(((loverbee)))

May 21, 2007
12:57 pm
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loverbee
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Well, its official...the waiting to talk to her is the worst part. I hate it. I wish she would pick up her phone. all those times of not wanting to answer the phone for her and suddenly now she isn't picking up her phone. I hope I get this overwith soon.

May 21, 2007
1:13 pm
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fantas
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Loverbee, does your mom know why you are trying to get a hold of her? Is it possible to actually go visit her? Hang on there....

May 21, 2007
1:42 pm
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loverbee
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Unfortunately I am in RI and she is in chicago. She doesn't have any clue what I am going to talk to her about but she should want to talk to me in my opinion because we haven't talked in two months and I just graduated. I know that right now she is recovering from a very bad hangover as usual but its just hard cause I hate the waiting.

May 21, 2007
2:28 pm
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soprano2
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May your path to knowledge be an adventure. Will think about you tomorrow as you are searching for tons of answers.

May 21, 2007
2:48 pm
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loverbee
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OH MY GOOOODDD!!! I Finally got ahold of my mother and I presented her with all the evidence. I have a hereditary disease that niether of my parents or anyone else in my family have and I have a completely different blood type than both my parents and my father said he couldn't have been my father and now she is trying to convince me that all that evidence is a medical miracle and she has been faithful the whole time. What the heck am I supposed to say to that???

May 21, 2007
3:19 pm
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fantas
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Loverbee...oh boy!! How are you doing now? Well the surest way to find this out is to take a paternity test. Would your now father be willing to do this?

May 21, 2007
3:40 pm
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loverbee
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I haven't spoken to my "father" in six and a half years and I don't live in the same state and he won't speak to me and its very complicated. I could contact the original doctor who delivered me but I don't know his name. I think my mother is really totally dilusional. She really thinks that she never had an affair.

May 21, 2007
4:09 pm
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soprano2
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Sometimes people bury the truth and tell so many lies for so long that they are unwilling to accept the truth when they hear it.

Same thing happened in my family and they are content in living the lie to this day and forever.

I am not, and it has caused some friction, but I feel like I should know the truth and hold on to the truth because it helps me realize who I am and who I am becoming.

The "truth" in this case also happens to be with being faithful, timing of divorces and births, as well as paternity.

May 21, 2007
4:13 pm
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loverbee
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The worst part is, I told her that I am not angry and that it wouldn't change our relationship and she is divorced from that man I thought was my father so there is really no reason not to tell me. Its all so frustrating.

May 22, 2007
4:14 pm
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fantas
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Loverbee, just checking how you are doing today. Have you talked to your mother again.

May 22, 2007
6:54 pm
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Tiger Trainer
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((loverbee))

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