Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
How to get a man back (answers from guys appreciated)
February 22, 2005
11:59 pm
Avatar
Trinity1980
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I had very good relationship with a guy for about a month then I did a few things that I guess scare off some guys like left my pj's in his apartment, had a little argument about him being late, and had a little argument about him not considering Valentine's day a special day. After that he stopped calling me and he sees me only when I call and arrange it (and he became very reserved and distant). Does it mean it's over or there is something I can do?

February 23, 2005
1:00 am
Avatar
orangeboy
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

hey. i don't think there's anything scary about leaving your pajamas at his apartment. i'd either think it was cute if it wasn't mentioned, as some sort of little mystery, or i'd think it was a tad bit creepy if i felt like all of a sudden things were moving really fast and i felt my space being threatened. i also might worry a bit if it felt like we were arguing a lot in the first month of dating.
my suggestion to you would be to play it cool for a while. do your own thing and be happy doing that. let him call. you're worth more than giving up yourself for this guy that you hardly even know, right? it'll make him think, he'll feel safer for having some space, and you'll feel better about yourself and more secure in the way things are going. you'll have a choice in the matter rather than feeling like you need him. i guess i could be off base from what you were asking, but i hope this helps. orange

February 23, 2005
7:37 am
Avatar
GullyFoyle
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

But did he just discover the PJs by himself? Like you had been sleeping in his house while he was gone? In that case, Hell yeah, I would be a little concerned.

But really, he may have felt you were moving a little fast. But how would you know if you don't talk to him? Open and honest communication can clear out a lot of confusion. Aproppriate, honest and oppen communication should do wonders for any kind of relationship you may want to have. That means talk about the issues at hand and leave the soul-bearing for when you two have become a little closer and familiar with each other.

But you can't change him or read his mind. If there is no response, there may be issues that you and he cannot overcome. In that case, life's too short. Move on.

Peace and Love

Gully

February 23, 2005
7:50 am
Avatar
dmurphy
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Can I ask how old the two of you are?

February 23, 2005
9:56 am
Avatar
Big heart
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I once dated a guy and every time I spent the night I would forget something. Be it earings, necklace, socks ect.... Everytime he would make it a point to let me know that I forgot these items.He would even hand me whatever it was that I left at his house the next time I saw him. Then he started to make sure I didn't leave anything. It bugged me sooo bad! So then I just joked about it and would say I remebered to bring everything home this time : - )! Whatever.. that only lasted so long. After a while when we became closer I would tell him, " hey I'm leaving my slippers here, unless you want me to wear yours everytime." He got use to it. I think men get a little freaked out when we dont think its a big deal. I mean we leave things at our girlfriends house all the time, doesn't mean were trying to move in with them right? Back up and he'll probibly come back to ya. Good luck!

February 23, 2005
10:03 am
Avatar
willitgetbetter
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I leave something at mt G/F's house everytime I go, unless I don't want to go back! But if I do, i leave something because it gives me an excuse to call or go and collect it!

February 23, 2005
10:08 am
Avatar
GullyFoyle
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

"I think I left my solid gold cigarette lighter at your place. You mind if I drop by tonight and pick it up?"

One of the oldest tricks in the book. So how come it never worked for me?

"why, yes, you did. I'll mail it to you. Oh, by the way, I moved out of state."

Gully

February 23, 2005
1:01 pm
Avatar
Trinity1980
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hey,
Thank you for your advice so far...for those who asked about our age, we're in our 20s.Also if anyone has some extra time look at thread named ["Wants to take it slow"..very confusing relationship..please help understand.(somewhat long question)]from yesterday. This is my thread as well and it explains more about our relationship...once you read this thread maybe you'll have a different advice...Thanks a lot!!

February 23, 2005
1:13 pm
Avatar
dmurphy
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

He sounds like he has been hurt before and is scared that he will get hurt again. Fear is a powerful emotion and he may be scared to move too quickly. Just because he is not looking for sex right now does not mean that he is not into you. My wife and I were together for several months before we had sex. We both needed things to move that way. This coming from a man who has had more one night stands than you can imagine and always felt that sex on the first date was the ultimate goal of all men! Sometimes taking your time is good for both of you. He may not be at the same point that you are. As far as what you can do, try to talk to him, and be open and honest about what you are feeling and why. Hope that he will tell you exactly what he is feeling and be prepared to maybe hear things that you do not want to hear. He may be scared because he already feels too close to you so he is trying to hold back.

February 23, 2005
3:24 pm
Avatar
kathygy
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Do not pursue him. Let him call you. If he is scared your pursuit will only push him further away. I did read your other thread and it sounds like you need to pull back and give him some space. I agree that open and honest communication can be very helpful if he's willing.

February 23, 2005
3:38 pm
Avatar
ShouldaaCouldaaWouldaa
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

It sounds like your being a bit aggressive. You've only been seeing him for 1 month right. You’re arguing with him fro being late already, your tripping on Valentines Day, your leaving clothes. He may think you left the close on purpose because your probably coming off as being jealous...I think you should relax & kind of play hard to get. Don't act so desperate or too willing. If he doesn't come back than he's a jerk that may just like to use women & this is his way of breaking it off. In that case, he's not worth getting worked up about anyways right... Honestly, if a guy really likes a girl, he would defiantly attempt to get her something for make Valentines Day especially if the relation ship is new...that's when things are most exciting...

February 23, 2005
11:51 pm
Avatar
Trinity1980
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I think I am convinced he is just playing a game.He promised we'll go to watch a movie "whenever he gets time" so I call him today, and he says he is with his friends and then tells me his weekly schedule and how busy he is. I do't get it if you don't want a girl why keep her around like that. Whenever I don't like a guy I just tell him straight sorry you are not my type..or it's not working. Why do guys have this need to play a game?

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
26
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 111049
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38581
Posts: 714358
Newest Members:
Goldyy, nickvoz, jron1945bas, juliaopty, uoi, jamescortes
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information