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How Much Is Really Enough?????
August 17, 2006
7:12 pm
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persistance
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Today I am sitting here fully dressed waiting for a date. This person is a lawyer. So I understand that they are very busy. She called at 12:40 and told me that she was coming top ny
from Newark N.J. She was going to stop home. Change clothes. Pick me up and them go visit one of drivers who is in the hospital. He had an accident on the way last night she said about five blocks tomy house.
However the phone number that she gave me was disconnected. So I could not contact the driver to see what happened to him.

Plus she never called me.All night.
This morning I reached her. For her to tell me
that she is on her way to court .And she would call em afterwards.

After the 12:40 p.m. call I have not heard from her she has blocked her phone from receiving calls.

You can't even leave a message.

IT IS NOW 707 p.m. And I can't bel,lieve that I am still calling a blocked phone.

What the hell is wrong with me.

I have never met this person because we met on the internet.

Around the fourth of July. It has been a month of calling and talking. She lives in Chicago
And have an apartment in New York.

Supposely she was supposede to have chichen POps. Now she is here and I haven't seen her yet.

I can't believe that I fell into this trap.

After this last call I am going to call a friend and go out to eat.

Somebody help me. I can't believe that I am so dumb

August 17, 2006
7:39 pm
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doubleloss
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mmmh. go out have fun, no calls from her...well, changed her mind?
though, give her the benefit of the doubt, listen to what she has to say, if/when she contacts you.

August 17, 2006
9:08 pm
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gracenotes
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persistance,

It sounds like you are taking care of yourself. You stated you were going to call a friend and go out to eat.

Definitely time to stop putting energy into this. No, I don't think you are dumb, you just had some expectations.

August 17, 2006
10:21 pm
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persistance
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Thanks guys I appreciate this site so much. This site has keep me alive. What i realize about this site that everyone here are the most beautiful sacred flowers of the world . We love so much and so freely. All those others are the ones with the saddlebags of demented diabolical behavior.

There are phones every where. People basically have no respect for each other .They walk over , around anything than to be a real person.

I thjought here is a real intelligent woman who I can honestluy have a conversation with.

We were delaying our meetings so that we took the time to get to know each.

Now we are at another dimension. Because as humans we always listen to some one else. Instead of listening to the source the other person in the relationship that we made a connection with.

I am not losing hope I know that there is a beautiful, intelligent , employed woman out her e in this world to share
my mind, body and soul with.

Thank you for replying to my thread it helped me. I hope that I can do the same for you all. Good night

August 17, 2006
10:32 pm
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sdesigns
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Hi persistance:

Well join the crowd of people who get stood up by internet dates. It has happened to me several times- oh they later have a story to tell on why they didn't make it- but the question is- do you really want someone who alays has a story to tell or an excuse? Wouldn't you rather have someone who acts a little more responsibly toward you? You are right- there are phones everywhere (if the cell doesn't work).

I've given so many second and third chances- and what it boils down to is that I have not been enough of a priority to them for them to tell me if they are going to be late, not show, whatever. And what I have realized is that I have not made myself a priority becuase I have accepted excuse after excuse. I don't treat people that way, so why would I allow someone else to treat me that way?

I have had 2 dif guyus get angry with me because I didn't wait long enough to find out what happened to them before I reacted. In one case I waitied five days. But- now I know I dont' want someone who's life is such that I always have to wait for a reason or excuse. Why should I have to wait, wonder, doubt, suspect, get upset, etc all the time?

Just a few things to think about.

I wouldn't bother calling her anymore. Its up to her to tell you what happened, and up to you whether you want to accept the excuse. If it happens more than once, I would say forget about her becuase this is a pattern and says trouble ahead.

SD

August 17, 2006
10:39 pm
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persistance
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Thank you for the reply Sd. I had received an e-mail from her daughter of all people.

Because she was easedropping on a conversation that her mother and I were having. We had both agreed not to visit the site that we met on.

I found out that she allowed het daughter excess to her webmail. So this was a definite turn off for me. NO PRIVACY

But you are right you have to show people
how to treat you.

That is definitely what my plans are now.

Thanks again for caring and sharing.

August 17, 2006
10:39 pm
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Honolulugal
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Hi Persistence,

Gee, you got a bum one there. For her not to call and not to show is
B A D. I had a similar experience a month ago with someone I know pretty well. He stood me up completely and then was afraid to say anything afterward. It took a few emails to get it out of him...he was embarrassed and ashamed and got tied up at work. If this lawyer had a cell phone, she could and should have called you. Period. Same with my date. I forgave him, but he has commmunication issues we're still suffering through (think I'm done with him now), so I really gained nothing by pursuing an answer. The real "answer" was in his no-showing for the date.

When you repeatedly call her back, you are making the situation worse. If the phone is blocked and you can't leave a message, that's happening for a reason. If she knows you called (probably does), that's enough. If she wants to call you back, she will. Sorry to sound so abrupt, but I think further effort from you for this female is a waste of a good guy's time. Cut your losses and move on!

Keep talking here. My perspective may be off, since I just went through the same thing. Sometimes persistence is a good thing ! :0)

August 17, 2006
11:10 pm
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persistance
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no you are right. It is time to back down. I am going away for a week. I have already deleted her numbers from my phone.

I don't have time now or ever for games.
I don't play them I stated that I was looking for a Long term relationship. Either you are or you aren't.

If it is not with me okay.

You can't change people . Just let them live they way they have been living. Thanks for responding I am definitely taking you advice.

Peace and love always. Be good to yourself. until next time

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