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How I feel by Nesh
November 15, 2005
12:16 am
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Neshema
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Because as many of you know, I suffered PTSD, please do not respond unless you can be supportive, kind, and caring.

This is how I feel:

November 15, 2005
12:17 am
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Neshema
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misunderstood

November 15, 2005
12:17 am
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Neshema
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hurt

November 15, 2005
12:17 am
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Neshema
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unheard

November 15, 2005
12:17 am
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Neshema
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courageous

November 15, 2005
12:18 am
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Neshema
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sad

November 15, 2005
12:18 am
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Neshema
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very sorry about Shaney

November 15, 2005
12:19 am
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Neshema
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angry that an admitted stalker was given sympathy

November 15, 2005
12:20 am
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Neshema
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laughing that the guy thinks he is cured in one day against the odds and that people bought his story

November 15, 2005
12:21 am
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Neshema
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loss of trust and faith

November 15, 2005
12:22 am
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Neshema
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grateful to everyone here who has helped me

November 15, 2005
12:22 am
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Neshema
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disappointed

November 15, 2005
12:22 am
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Neshema
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sickened

November 15, 2005
12:23 am
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Neshema
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bullied

November 15, 2005
12:24 am
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Neshema
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it's okay

November 15, 2005
12:25 am
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Neshema
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because in the end, I still have my values, and those who know me know what those values are...

November 15, 2005
12:26 am
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Neshema
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and I still have my HP

November 15, 2005
12:31 am
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Lass
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Neshema,

I am glad to see an apology in there toward Shaney.

That's the first sign of growth in a good direction.

LL

November 15, 2005
12:32 am
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Oh, good grief Neshie. We have tried.

I wish you well.
love,
ella

November 15, 2005
12:34 am
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Neshema
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and now, I better take care of myself...and that means stop reading posts by people who don't know me or care to know me. If you think I did a lot of damage, maybe you should reread all your posts to me, a person who never committed a crime, would stay up all night with you to comfort you, but who, like you needed support...who was very vulnerable and had post-traumatic stress. Even some of the last few posts tonight from people who know nothing of me, are so damaging, violate rules of this site, and include all the things you accuse me of, that I found myself shaking. Please think a bit more before you write such things. I never even posted something saying I was a stalker. Cut me some slack...and that is the feedback I have for you in return for the loads of feedback and character assaults I received today. For your information, everyone, it did a helluva lot more harm than good. So, whatever you think you may have accomplished, you now know.

November 15, 2005
12:38 am
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Neshema
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Lass- I profusely apologized to Shaney more than once. Whatever growth or progress I made has been harmed. No need to talk to my inner child. I know when I need to apologize and ask for forgiveness. I don't expect anything in return.

November 15, 2005
12:39 am
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Neshema
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Yes, ella, thank you. I appreciate your efforts.

November 15, 2005
12:55 am
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mamacinnamon
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Neshie:

I understand the triggers of ptds since I also have it. I understand it can put you out of control and you just cannot seem to get yourself reeled back in.

I am sorry you had such a hard day and that you feel all the things you listed above.

You know I wish you only the best. I'd say have an extra Dove Bar but I don't think it will help. What will help tho is sleep, Sleep and time.

(((( neshie )))))

I think once the smoke clears you will see that most everyone still loves you.

November 15, 2005
1:04 am
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Neshema
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I am out of dove bars, mama.

Orangeboy said it all on the stalker post. He said everything I couldn't. please read it if you can. I just can't even describe my feelings now. I feel so torn up.

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