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How do you to attract the ones you're attracted to?
September 15, 2005
12:48 am
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ianandris
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I find that more often than not, the girls that are interested in me aren't the ones I'm interested in. This is a problem. How in the world do you attract people you're interested in?

September 15, 2005
12:51 am
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doesn't it always seem to work out that way??? you can't make someone like you...but i know you know that...find out some of their interests and see what you have in common.

September 15, 2005
12:51 am
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Randomwomen2
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thats a good question hun I always were attracted to either the guys that were way out of my leauge or they gay ones the problem with the gay ones is i didnt find out until we were going out. I hope you had better luck than i did now im with a guy that i probbly should leave. So i dont know how it workes sorry im not much help

September 15, 2005
1:02 am
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ianandris
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Here's another question for you:
How do you develop non-shallow/non-platonic relationships with people? I'm a star at making acquaintances, friends and girlfriends elude me.

September 15, 2005
1:04 am
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Randomwomen2
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this may sound weird but i have been around people like this and you may or may not be but stop being fake let people know the real you not the superfical person dont just show a happy face show them who you truly are

September 15, 2005
1:20 am
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ianandris
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Sound advice. Except, I struggle with the concept of who I really am. How do you discover that?

September 15, 2005
1:22 am
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there is no answer to that unfortunately. i think everyone struggles with that at one time or another but in my case i think i struggle with it longer than others. maybe thats why we are all here...cuz we don't know who we really are. when you finally do find out who you really are is it because you have become the person you want to be?

September 15, 2005
1:24 am
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Randomwomen2
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that sounds like the truth there we wont have to ask who are we realy when we already know

September 15, 2005
1:37 am
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ianandris
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*sigh* Being lost is a lot more pleasant when you're with someone else...

September 15, 2005
1:38 am
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of course thats because it is easier and it is comforting to know that you are not alone...

September 15, 2005
2:10 am
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miss guided
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knowing oneself takes a lifetime.. its a process, it doesnt just happens overnight or in a snap, no secret formula or no one could ever do it except you.. you just have to live life, seize the moment and everyday you'll have your realizations about yourself which were not there yesterday..everyday is an oppurtunity for us to learn new things about ourselves and eventually get to know ourselves better than before..

September 15, 2005
2:12 am
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that is really good advice but how do you learn new things about yourself when you don't have the motivation to get out there everyday??

September 15, 2005
2:19 am
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miss guided
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get out? what do you mean by out? out of your house? out of your favorite corner in a room? out of your league? (-:

September 15, 2005
2:22 am
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geez are you a real sarcastic person??? i mean get out of the house...i just do what i need to do but because i've been depressed lately i find it hard to find the energy and motivation to do anything else.

September 15, 2005
2:30 am
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miss guided
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oopss!! sorry!! i didnt mean to be sarcastic..guess im not being careful with my words..thats the problem with computers no matter how you try to put the right feeling on your words, sometimes it's still misunderstood by the other line.. sorry..i was just trying to clarify before i give my idea, hope you understand..

September 15, 2005
2:32 am
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i do thanks for explaining i didnt want to assume or accuse you of anything that is why i asked...i completely understand. so you work in the counseling field??

September 15, 2005
2:40 am
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miss guided
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before i enter the discussion, ive read the guidelines that there's no need for your profile or personal info thats why honestly i was in hesitation if ill tell you people that my work is in the counseling field.. i might be bomdarded with a lot of questions,hehehe..and people will expect a lot from me knowing its my line of work..nevertheless, yah, i am..

September 15, 2005
2:42 am
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so then since you are in this field it is interesting to me that you probably have a whole different perception of this site then i do since i use it for different reasons...is it interesting to see what people are going through...do you want to help because you have more knowledge on these situations??? i am just curious but if you dont feel comfortable answering i understand.

September 15, 2005
2:54 am
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miss guided
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no matter how knowledgeable a person could be, its nothing if you dont have the heart.being a counselor is more of a passion and more of an attitude to do the job..yah, knowledge may help but actually when you are already in the counseling room you no longer think of what freud, rogers, and whoever famous psychologist had said..its all about being you as a person with a heart trying to help the other because you know that it would be painful for that person how he/she feels even if you think its just pretty petty for you..and im not a magic wand that in one wave i could help other people's problems.. i am also a person with my own sentimes, pains, concerns, troubles. its the same for all psychologist, counselors, and psychiatrits out there..perhaps we just had the conditioned perception when it comes to problems but human as we are we are sometimes pulled down by our trouble.. we all are.. i find this site really helpful to all.. a great site! people could comfortably talk without compromising tehir identity..

September 15, 2005
2:58 am
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yeah i agree...it has to be a passion and you have to like doing it cuz this line of work could be pretty stressful and if you don't like it you could really push people in the wrong direction and really mess them up. i admire you for wanting to help people in this way...it is actually something i would like to do but i know before i can help others i need to work out my own problems...thanks for answering i really do appretiate it.

September 15, 2005
3:14 am
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cpt1212
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Miss Guided,

I understand your apprehension about letting people know of your vocation, but just know there are several people that come here and post that are also in the counseling field. Hopefully that will ease your unease---ha!

September 15, 2005
3:47 am
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miss guided
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thanks cpt1212!! sori it took so long before i was able to post my reply.. had some reserch to do also, tahts why.. hope i was able to help you..

September 15, 2005
8:49 am
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shyshy
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I seem to have the same problem. I always attract those that I am not attracted to and those that I am attracted to have no interest in me.

Maybe because people prefer a challenge? You know how they say we always want what we can't have.

September 15, 2005
10:02 am
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exoticflower
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My therapist always tells me that 'same likes same', and that what you see in your partner so often reflects your self perception...if that makes sense, it's something where just getting into so I don't really have a lot of insight into it in general, but it is certainly something to think about...

September 15, 2005
12:13 pm
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ianandris
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So, then, the real key to attracting the ones you're interested in is being the kind of interesting peron you would want to attract? Doesn't that fly in the face of "being yourself", though? If behavior is cultivated, how do you consicentiously cultivate it without compromising yourself?

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