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December 26, 2005
11:48 pm
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Anonymous
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September 24, 2010
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DO NOT EVER CONTACT ME AGAIN!!! And mean it???

I've had a bad day. Everytime he contacts me, it turns toxic! I always feel like I've digressed in my healing, like he rips the wound open all over again. And I'm tired of it! It's taken me almost 5 months to accept the fact that I made a bad choice, I let my defenses down when I should have guarded my heart more closely. He lied, he cheated, he abused, he deceived me. Yet it has taken me all this time to TELL MYSELF I deserve better than what he was offering.

So why can't I muster up the "balls" to tell him to get lost, that I never want to hear from him again, and to leave me alone! Am I afraid that he will actually DO IT??? I dunno, it's sooooooo confusing. My head tells me he's all wrong for me, yet my heart misses the good times. Yes, we were VERY compatible, yet our values were VERY different. So as long as I didn't "rock the boat" and require anything from him, life was grande! I have let go of him (in my mind) so many times over the past 5 months, only to allow him to creep back in and mess with my head once again. I've got to stay focused, I've got to finish this once and for all...yet I can't seem to TELL HIM (in words) that it's OVER!!! Anybody got any kind, yet firm words to offer for my Dear John letter? I want to end this and start 2006 without always looking back over my shoulder! I guess I'm afraid if I actually "say the words", then what if I regret it? I do love him, but he is so wrong for me! That, I am sure of.

Help!!!

plz~

December 27, 2005
12:04 am
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i got this
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i'm currently going thur the same how or what to say ????? so i realized that its not the words that mattered. remeber the old saying actions speak louder than words .............

i wannted the same satisfaction. however no letter no phone conversation will ever put the power in it like the action of silince............another saying never miss the oprtunity to be silent..... good luck with what ever u decide.

December 27, 2005
12:27 am
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Shaney
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Hi plz - isn't it frustrating - the battle between the heart and the mind? It's a bummer, but sometimes letting go doesn't always mean that this person disappears from your life forever. Saying goodbye, can just mean "for now" until the romantic feelings end, and the friendship can begin. I'm proof that it can happen that way.

I had a bf for over five years. It was the worst five years of my life - we had a dysfunctional relationship, with lots of good times and good memories. As many ways as we connected, we clashed.... at that time. I finally had to tell him that I couldn't continue with the relationship because I knew that I needed a healthier life, plain and simple. We went back and forth for a few months, sontinuing to be dysfunctional, until finally I stopped calling and so did he. We moved on. A couple of years later, we ran into eachother, the romantic feelings were gone, we apologized for tortuing eachother when we were together, and now we're great friends. I trust him now, like I never could before.

So if you have a great connection, but just can't seem to get it to work romantically, take time away and see where life and fate take you. Give yourself the chance to move on - a real chance for another door to open for you. That won't happen as long as the door remains cracked to this relationship. Say goodbye for now, and realize that it doesn't have to be forever.

Take care, my friend - you deserve so much. Love - Shaney

December 27, 2005
6:41 pm
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Anonymous
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Thanks, I got and Shaney, for your thoughts! Yes, it is extremely frustrating to have this constant battle going on between my head and my heart. Thanks for sharing your own story, Shaney. It always helps to hear from somebody who has been there, done that!

I hope things are going better for you, Shaney. I totally understand the old "back burner" feeling. I hope you will be able to put some things to rest with your relationship soon and move forward together. He's a lucky guy!

Love, plz~

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