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How do you NOT think that set-backs are NOT the end of the world?
November 7, 2004
12:00 pm
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brendalee
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This is MORE than just negative thinking. It's been my natural response to stress of all levels for me my whole life. Any nuggets of wisdom from anyone out there?

November 7, 2004
12:34 pm
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blueeyes1009
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brendalee,

I too have always been one to think in the negative. can't help it. It seems a self fulfilling prophesy.

one bad thing happens then another then another etc.

Must be somethinging inn our make up.

I would give anything to be more positive. Doesn't seem like I can be even when I try, so I totally relate.

Blueeyes

November 7, 2004
5:03 pm
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on my way
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Hi Brendalee,
I guess maybe it would be a good idea to find out what happens to you when you have a setback, like what do you think about? We all have setbacks it is part of recovery, so we develop the tools to deal with the setbacks. Do you know how to handle the setbacks?

November 7, 2004
5:22 pm
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babysteps
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I am struggling with the same thing...been having an awful week, and I am having a major setback. I've been overly emotional, and I can feel the self-destructive thinking entering my mindset again...I think that is what scares me the most b/c I don't ever want to go back to where I was.

I'm finding it really hard to talk myself out of feeling as though I am falling back into my codependency. I'm finding it hard to take a deep breath, remind myself of how far I've come, and put things inot perspective. It seems as though these setbacks always cause me to act irrationally and emotionally, and I lose sight of all that makes sense. HELP!

Baby Steps 🙁

November 7, 2004
6:05 pm
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on my way
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From what you say it sounds like you will never go back to where you were! That is a good thing. I have a chart that I use and on the chart it has the following:
CHARACTERISITC (Weakness)
Abandonment, Anger/Resentment, approvqla Seeking, Caretaking, Control, Depression/Self-pity, Dishonesty, Frozen Feelings, Isolation, Low Self-Esteem, Over Responsibility, Procrastination, Worry (past or future)
CHARACTERISTICS (Strengths!)
Forgiveness, Generosity, Honesty, Humility, Patience, Risk-taking, Self-nurturing, Tolerance, Trust.

Then these are for a spot check at the end of everyday. Or if you notice these during your day, mark them. Because pur lives are sometimes "unmanageable", but then realizing a Higher Power" or GOD, can help us through. This is what I do, and it is only a suggestion. If we don't have the tools, it can be VERY overwhelming at times, as our minds can be our worst enemy. I went through a spiritual 12 step program at my church, and it was awesome!!! And Baby Steps, you are always changing, change is good, don't be afraid of it if it leads you to apositive result, and don't beat yourself up if you slip back. Love yourself through it.

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