Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
How do you learn to trust again?
May 18, 2006
1:48 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

My boyfriend and I had been split up for a few day. I was talking to a lady we are both friends with. Turns out he was seeing her on our break. The thing is I found out from her and I have a feeling it may have been going on longer then he said.

Long story short he said that he didn't want to be with her and he missed me and didn't want to loose me. Its been about 5 weeks since we got back together and things have been great. The problem is I am afraid to trust him and I find myself getting very jealous. I am making myself crazy....... Help ME!!!!!!!!

May 18, 2006
2:41 pm
Avatar
taj64
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I can understand why you cannot trust him. Trust is not a on/off button. It has be rebuilt if it is lost. Allow yourself to have time to get it back and be patient and work on it. If you work on yourself to be secure with you then you will find that you are not as jealous and not as preoccupied with the past. The future is what counts so work on what you would like for the future. I think it would be so natural to be afraid at first since you just got back together.

May 18, 2006
3:01 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Taj,
I hate being like this but at the same time I dont want to be stupid about it. He tells me how much he loves me and how beautiful I am and I cant help thinking he is just telling me what I want to hear. I really do want to make this work but i feel like a part of me has shut down. Hopefully its only a temporary shut down and I can recover from it. I am just not dealing well....

May 18, 2006
4:00 pm
Avatar
taj64
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I think it is the trust in yourself, not in him. It is insecurity. Is your BF a good listener? If so, talk to him and tell him of your fears. tell yourself this is not a permanent feeling. It can be rebuilt if willing to try. And that you have. He is telling you are beautiful so remind yourself that you think you are as well and know it. Right now try to be hopeful and not hopeless. Argue with yourself that you can trust not that you will never trust.

May 19, 2006
3:31 am
Avatar
Cinamac
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

It is hard to trust someone who has cheated on you. Trust therefore is sacred. Your relationship is new now, and it may never be the same because you might always be wondering.

Often people have affairs for reasons, only known to them. Do you cheat? Since cheating is human nature, and we could all end up doing it, would you ever expect him to forget it if you cheated?

How would you counsel your daughter if she was with a guy who cheated?

It is a hard one as everyone makes mistakes, but you might want to tune into your heart and figure out how you want to be treated and what kind of relationship you want.

Good luck and only time will heal trust. It is like burning your hand in a fire. It is hard to sit near fire again, but then again you need it for warmth...

All the best

Cinamac

May 19, 2006
9:42 pm
Avatar
Rasputin
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Feelinglost -

Trust is a big word and once it's broken, it takes efforts, time and communication to earn that trust from you bf.

Have a heart to heart conversation with your bf and confess to him about your own fears and insecurities. Tell him that due to what he's done to you before, you're unable to trust him and ask him to prove to you that he is trustworthy and reliable partner.

I pray you will both have peace and joy together!

Blessings~Ras~

May 20, 2006
1:07 am
Avatar
give to much love
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

It's hard to trust again once you have been burned. I got burned for a car, my heart, and over three thousand dollars. and an engagement ring. Over 20 cd's, 20 DvD's, a really great blow dryer, my costco card, . I got to experience the deep emotional cut of embarassment of this wonderful person pounding on my apartment door in the presense of my twenty year old son who stood there horrified and disgusted all my clothes ,mostly coats that I had left at the apartment when we had a newspaper route together. I just reached out for the clothes that were in a clear plastic bin. She then replied.There's more stuff give me the bin back. Stupid me I could have used my own bin. Because she never came back. Word to the wise nevr move in the building of someone when you are first starting a relationship with. Not very wise. Regardless of the fact that you really need the apartment very bad. It's simple I will trust again .I am not going to rush or be compulsive about it. I am going to take my time.I know that I must first establish boundaries with people. I realize that I am not the keeper of time and I cannot or should take on the responsibility of controling the relationship . Whether a friendship or romantic relationship. Have faith and confidence in yourself.
Because we are all in this journey of life together. We just have to all remember that it's a we thing not a me thing. And be strong enough regardless of our loneliness, sexual needs or just a basic need for human touch warm interaction we must be realistic to our
selves and set boundaries.
Let's repeat it. WE MUST SET BOUNDARIES WITH EVERY ONE! ALWAYS> Peace and love

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
28
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 111061
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38620
Posts: 714410
Newest Members:
edenjames666, Sebastian Payne, Tia Phillips, NancySparks, Seapristes, modelmyparty
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information