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how do you know if they are an alcoholic?
November 7, 2011
12:54 pm
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wireless28806
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you just meet them, and for four months they drink every night.. wine, 2-4 glasses.  They drink vodka, and soda, a couple glasses of wine, two more glasses.. and one more before bed.  They are always making plans to go out with friends who are alcoholics..  The funny thing is, they are never drunk.. a little buzzed, maybe.  I can see once in a while, a little additude change.. bad.  They dont want to work, and want to be a stay at home mom..  constantly stares at guys when I am out with her, and if I question her, she tells me I am jealous.. she is still drinking.  Gets home from work, and has a drink to feel better.  Also goes into work.. 1-2 hours late every morning.  sometimes takes work off, because she wants to, but never really drunk.... I dont know..  My mother was an alcoholic..

November 8, 2011
6:33 am
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ShiningLight
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wireless28806,

 

Right, the symptoms and behavior you have stated above were all indications that the person is indeed an alcoholic. Maybe it's best if you consult a substance abuse counselor and submit her for a counseling sessions and other treatments. It's not too late actually as long you're willing to support her all the way to recovery and sober living.

 

Wishing you well.

November 8, 2011
12:22 pm
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wireless28806
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Thank You shinning light... she tells me that she goes out with her friends, guys, to catch up, but all they do is drink.  I told her that she doesnt go out to catch up, she goes out to just drink... and they are her drinking buddies.  She tells me that I insult her when I tell her that her friends are nothing more than drinking buddies.  I have met three of her main "friends"  and all they did was drink.  I felt like I wasnt what she wanted, because when she gets bored, the first thing she does is goes out and drinks.  I feel hurt, fearful, and mad... just like I did when I was 3- 17 years old.. Thank You...

November 10, 2011
11:51 am
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StronginHim77
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Years ago, I recall my psychologist telling me that we frequently are drawn to partners who mirror some of the best -- AND WORST -- traits which we experienced in the dynamics of our relationships with one (or both) parent(s).  Sounds like you may be doing that very thing:  finding yourself attracted to a woman who has issues with alcohol. 

I think you see the Truth.  The hard part is acknowledging it and taking action to help YOURSELF.  You cannot "fix" her (although we date/partner up with these damaged people, hoping to "fix" with them what was in need of "fixing" in our problematic parents), but you CAN get help for yourself and learn why you are attracted to this toxic woman...begin the work of your OWN RECOVERY.  I didn't get ahold of this till my fifties.  Sincerely hope this input helps you a little.

Best regards,

-  Ma Strong

November 13, 2011
5:59 am
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wireless28806
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Thank You, everybody... the thing that is really odd, and makes it hard to move on is that she iis so kind at times.  If i really think about it... she gets sweet and kind right after she stares at guys in front of me, even when she knows I am watching her.  What I do next is leave the area in which she is obsessing, and when she finds me she will hug, and kiss me, and is very complimentary.  Or if she needs me to do something.. like put on a door, or pick up a stove... she is so loving.  I am co dependent, and she drinks a lot.  I am doing my best to NOT help, if I feel I am doing it so she will like me more.  That is my problem...  that is why it is so hard.  She is so nice to me, and she knows it works..

December 31, 2011
2:43 pm
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nadamystery
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The answer to your question that you asked in the title of this thread is....an alcoholic is someone who cannot not drink.

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