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How do you help a drug addict?
September 3, 2003
11:37 pm
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Anonymous
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September 24, 2010
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My husband and I use to party once in a while. Once in a while turned into every weekend & before I knew it, he was coming home from work every other day high on cocaine. I stopped, hoping that would help him stop but he doesn't want to & he thinks there is nothing is wrong with it as long as we can still pay our bills & live comfortably. I moved out to show him I wasn't putting up with anymore but it got worse, he didn't go to work. I love him with all my heart & I don't know how to help him. Many promises he has made & many promises he has broken. He lies about doing it when I can damn well see it all over his face. Someone please give me some advice! How do I help an addict?

September 4, 2003
12:56 am
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Anonymous
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Sadly, until an alcoholic or drug addict is ready to sober up themselves, it is not going to happen. You can do an intervention, put him in a straight jacket, and haul him off some where. But, the minute he gets out, if had no desire to sober up when he was forced in there, he will go right back to it.

You might want to conact your locate your local chapter of Alcoholics Anon. for Al-Anon meetings, or Narcotics Anon, for some time of groups meetings for spouses as well.

Good luck,

Zinnie

April 11, 2007
11:51 am
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AllSmiles
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Mocha1,

Your need to read my posts along with the responses i've gotten from other people. It's titled "I'm in a codependecy relationship with a drug addict."

You can not help them. Don't try to. That's what makes you codependent and believe me if your not already there you don't want to be! Don't allow their problem to be your problem. He is the only one that can help himself and he has to want to or he never will.

I was introducted to cocaine a year into my relationship with my boyfriend. Little did I know he has been doing it for years before me. I was having fun, partying and wasted a year of my life and savings doing cocaine. THE DRUG CONSUMES YOU. Luckily, like myself you realized what it was doing to you and you walked away. That was the best thing you have ever done for yourself.

The drug will get into your brain make your lie, steal, cheat, and really believe that there is no better feeling in the world. It is a nasty drug. Don't you feel so much better now that your not doing it anymore?? I'm proud of you that you walked away and are seeking help.

It starts off that you just do it a little bit here and there and slowly you lose everything. I know many people that have lost their family, job and home and are content just doing drugs all the time. They don't realize how they hurt everyone around them that cares.

The reality is that people who are addict to cocaine can not stop thinking about it. They will continue to do it, their tolerance will continue to get higher and they would trade you, your relationship, your love just to get a 20 bag.

They have to want to get better or they never will. It's the hardest thing in the world to walk away from someone you love that you want to help but you can't help them. You just cant. Please look into codependency. Once I realized what I was doing and sacrifing for him things changed. Nothing is perfect but there hae been improvments.

I am not 100% sure he has stoped doing it but according to him he has been clean for 1 month.His attitude has changed and I cna tell he hasn't been doing it around me at least. One month is a baby step for an addict. To really use the word Sober I think it has to be a year or more of not doing cocaine.

Either way I think God has been with us. Thing have been better for us this month. In the last six months he has admitted he has a problem(1st step), Talked about it with myself and family (2nd step) and is seeking help through couselors (3rd step). Now he is on the path to recovery (4th step). He has been trying really hard and it's because he wants to.

It's still very hard for me because I keep thinking that any day now he will hit rock bottom again and start using, stop working and lose everything. In the last 18 months thats happen twice. He didn't work for months at a time and I had to pick up the slack.

Really, the best advice I can give you is to help yourself. It is okay to be supportive of him but if he doesn't want help he never will and you have to get out of that situation. Otherwise you will always think you can help or change him and you can't. He will continue to dissappoint you.

Again, look into Codependency and talk to him about it being a problem. Talk about it as much as possible with friends, family, support groups or online. It really helps you realize that your not overreacting that he is the one with the problem.

Hang in there.
-AllSmiles

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