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how do you cope?
January 4, 2006
4:44 pm
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lewis
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January 4, 2006
4:49 pm
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lewis
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Recently, well actually for some while now, I have been feeling very trapped and limited. There are people in my live whose life seems to overspill to mine. I'm trying very hard to separate myself from others dramas. But I find this the hardest thing to do because I can't seem to keep things to myself, instead of just saying, yes and no I will voice my thoughts on the current drama, which tends to lead to other dramas, to be honest I feel quite exasperated!

January 4, 2006
4:54 pm
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Anonymous
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Perhaps you need PHYSICAL detachment until you can manage mental detachment?

I know for me - I needed to take a break physically from those that caused me drama. And once I was feeling "stronger", I was able to be around them in SMALL DOSES, without opening my mouth more than I should.

Perhaps these relationships are just plain toxic and you need to weed them out all together?

January 4, 2006
5:45 pm
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lewis
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mmm hi alicat, perhaps they are toxic, but i wasn't too specific about the people and its hard to rid yourself of family! I did remove myself once and for some reason i have come back!

I think your really right about the PHYSICAL detachment until you can manage mental detachment? I'm trying to do the mental detachment but I can't keep it up! There as to be some trick that I haven't thought of!

January 4, 2006
11:38 pm
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Shaney
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Since you're dealing with family, you probably know their "ways" or how they approach things. Think of the types of things that they say or do to you, and formulate a response ahead of time, so you're not caught off guard. I know that when I'm unprepared or caught off guard, I tend to just go off on a tangent and sometimes say too much. If you prepare a generic response, and practice it, you might overcome the tendency to voice your thoughts. By voicing your thoughts, you open up a can of worms and become engaged or involved in the situation, regardless of your not wanting to. What sort of things provoke you to voice your thought? Maybe we can help you to come up with some generic responses that keep you sort of separated from the drama...

January 4, 2006
11:47 pm
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lost and found
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lewis-use this-i dont know, what do u think?

January 5, 2006
6:26 am
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lewis
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Thanks I really need the advice! Sahney i tend to tell how I see things from my point of view, which is like opening a can of worms as you said. I think there is something disfunctional with me and my sisters, if i am mentally involved with them I feel overwhelmed and it can cause me to feel down. In fact their are a number of feelings flying around. But I need to learn new ways of dealing with the drama's that have been going round for some while. I have been thinking that I don't think I can just be friends with them, their seems to be old emotions still there.

Lost and found i will use that thankyou.

I went to bed last nite saying over to my self, 'Mentally Detach myself'.

January 6, 2006
2:36 am
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Lass
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One line my dad has always used that I liked. "What can I do for you?" Said brightly, at just the right moment, it offers sincere concern, but puts requests for help/ possible solutions/ squarely back on the other person.

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