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How do I prove I am not codependent anymore?
August 15, 2007
12:20 pm
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lrrn567
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I will look for a CoDa group here.
I didn't think my problem had a name for it.
You are all opening my eyes to finding some help with my problem.
I will keep reading these comments as they are indeed showing me that it wasn't always me that's the problem as far as behaviour is concerned.
I must take responsiblity for my actions as trying to let people take advantage of me.
I am going to try to stand up for myself now.
After financial calamity that was brought about myself.
I also want to ask another question.
My daughter still owes me about 2800 for her divorce. I just can't seem to make her move on paying me back.
How do all of you suggest that I go about making this happen?

August 15, 2007
1:52 pm
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cnfsdnluv
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Hey everyone, just want to thank you for your input. It's been both a bit harsh (hey the truth hurts), but also healing. I know I have issues to work out - as does he - so right now we are where we are supposed to be in life (with ourselves, to work on ourselves).

I have been having SUCH a difficult time letting go of my blame/regret/guilt, but no matter what my actions, I truly believe that a relationship takes two. I may have been codependent, I may have snooped and acted disrespectfully or untrusting. But, the truth is, if the love was strong enough and the desire enough, we could have worked together to overcome my issues. At least I believe so. I mean, after all, there are people out there in relationships where FAR worse happens (cheating/abuse/theft/etc) and there are some relationships that can survive those.

I guess it's all a learning process for both of us.

I do hope someday we find each other again. Until then, I am going to work on myself so that whatever relationship I enter, I won't make the same silly mistakes again!

Thanks again!!!!

August 15, 2007
2:43 pm
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Rilin
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O.k. I was not implying that you take the blame for every fault in the relationship... I have done that too. I was talking about the things that you are responsible for and the relationship failing was not your fault. lrrn567

God can make good from bad. This is an oppotunity for you to focus your priorities, do what has been put on your heart.Ask and he will tell you. you do not have to carry the burden from other relationships into another one. There is reason and purpose for everything and everyone.

hey lettingo you make an interesting point one i had not touched on, you are right but we get attached to certain behaviors and i was suggesting for her to release hers not apologize for his S#[email protected]%y behavior thats all.. but you are absolutely right

August 15, 2007
5:19 pm
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lrrn567
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What profound insights. I am so touched by all these responses Rilin and cnfsdnluv.
I found a CoDa meeting that's being held tonight at a local church.
Today, feels like a definite turning point in my life.
I keep rereading the inputs and they are reinforcing that I am not all that bad and stupid.

August 15, 2007
6:35 pm
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Rilin
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I was in a relationship with a guy that liked to call me a sutpid bitch all the time. By the time I got away from him, I would stand toe 2 toe with anyone who called stupid, that is just completeley unacceptable to me,I do not like when my intelligenceis questioned.... so I can identify with you all those 2 levels also .... Serenity... Rilin

August 15, 2007
9:59 pm
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Worried_Dad
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Not being interested in getting back together with your ex-boyfriend would be a start.

August 16, 2007
8:59 am
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lrrn567
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Went to the CoDa meeting last night and was surprised that what I am feeling is shared by many people.
I ordered the book "Co Dependant No More".
Looking foward to reading it.
Is there a daily meditation book?
What is the name of it and where can I get it.

August 16, 2007
11:36 am
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lettingo
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"The Language of Letting go" by Melody Bettie is an excellent meditation book. Here is the thought for today. I love this book!!!! http://www.hazelden.org/web/pu.....catId=1904

August 16, 2007
12:01 pm
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Rilin
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My husband now knows the story and has not once in 4 years called me stupid, I have not heard from my ex in over years so no not intersted at all

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