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how do I help a friend?
October 3, 2003
3:19 pm
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just a friend
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I have a friend who shows a lot of symptoms of codependency. How can I express concern about this in a way that won't be offensive? I don't think anyone likes hearing that their friends are concerned that they have psychological problems. I just want to see her happy and making decisions based on herself and not others. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
Also- are there anonymous phone counseling hotlines, groups, etc? Where do we find those in our area?

October 3, 2003
3:39 pm
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gingerleigh
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Admirable that you want to help your friend. Question is, how is her codependency impacting her relationship with you? That's the door to discussing things with her.

You could also ask her if everything is all right, that you've noticed she seems a bit down or stressed and is there anything you can do to help. You could also mention that you've been doing some interesting reading on a website or in a book and see if she would find it interesting.

October 4, 2003
6:51 am
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boland
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i think all you can do is be there for her help her see what you see, and just listen to her when she need some one to listen and hear her, and just make her feel loved and cared for, and that shes isnt alone, hope this helps, look after your self to, just a friend,

October 4, 2003
9:38 am
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mj
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ACCEPT HER for the way she is.
Seems to me, you wanting to help makes me wonder if you don't possess some of this as well 😉

I started learning about codependency in books. An excellent beginner is Melody Beatties "Codependent no More".
Maybe you could read it first then tell her what you learned.

Online they have a CODA Site...where you can download info to start a meeting in your area if it isn't listed in your phone book or local newspaper under support groups. Alanon exists in lots of places which is also an excellent twelve step program.

But most importantly, just being there for your friend while taking care of yourself. Good Luck

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