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How do I get my friend some help?
November 29, 1999
3:42 am
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Anonymous
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September 24, 2010
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Okay, a bit long...

My best friend has had a rough few years - who am I kidding - a tough life. Child of two alcoholics, recovering anorexic, survivor of a nasty marriage and bitter divorce... and a first for me dealing with the coping techniques!

I've brought up many times that it's perhaps time to get help after one very hard night and a confession from her - that she was feeling completely out of control with her life and her eating disorder was creeping up on her. I've offered to go with her as well as stick by her side as she healed.

Unfortunately, real life smashed in - discovered a few of those coping techniques involved lies and deceit towards me, and now I'm at a loss.

No one can tell me that this isn't a good woman with a loving heart. Does codependent behavior excuse the deceit? Without it, I doubt highly that the things she has done to others would have occured. Do I stick by her?

And here's the rub - in digging to help her, I discovered that I'm a full-on co-dependent myself. I'll be finding a good counselor this week, but it doesn't erase the problem. In fact, it just raises more issues. Do we work on this together or apart? Did I create her need to lie to save face? Does she resent my own coping problems?

So...the big question...stick by her side or get out of it and deal only with myself?

A good rec for a counselor in the LA area would be appreciated, too. And thanks.

November 29, 1999
9:12 am
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site coordinator
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StrongOne,

I'm certain others here have some feedback for you...

but for referrals, and more one on one
feedback, try these two numbers:

1) Boys Town Hot Line: 800 448 3000 Provides
short term crisis intervention and counseling and referrals to local
community resources. Counsels on parent child conflicts, marital and
family issues, suicide, pregnancy, runaway youth, physical and sexual
abuse, and other issues. Operates 24 hours, seven days a week.

2) Covenant House Hotline: 800 999 9999 Crisis line for youth, teens, and
families. Gives callers locally based referrals throughout the United
States. Provides help for youth and parents regarding drugs, abuse,
homelessness, runaway children, and message relays. Operates 24 hours,
seven days a week.

- SC

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