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how do i deal with depression
April 15, 2009
1:24 am
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sunbird90
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i have been on depression medicine for almost two years and i seem to not feel any better. i can feel good for a long time then all of a sudden i feel like my life is going to fall apart and i start puushing everybody including my two friend that have been there for me through thick and thin somebody tell me what to do. there are times i do not feel like living anymore but i know that is not the answer

April 15, 2009
1:46 am
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sunshine88
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hi sunbird, sunshine here with you... you see, sun brings life and hope.

have you posted here before? if not, and you're new here, it could help if you could share more about your feelings... sometimes, by just sharing them and putting them in writing, it helps you to recognize a lot about yourself, and release some negative energies boiling inside of you.

i know what you're going through, i was suicidal too when i was very young, like 10 years old until i was in my late 20s. it was a long and tiring struggle, to stay alive, when you don't appreciate being alive, when all you feel is emptiness, pain and loneliness. does that describe a little bit about how you feel?

keep posting, i am here to hear you out.

April 15, 2009
12:17 pm
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BRIGHTLIGHTS
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SUNBIRD, I TOO WAS DIAGNOSED WITH "CHRONIC DEPERSSION'ABOUT A MONTH AGO WAS PERSCRIBED MEDICATION, STILL HAVEN'T TAKEN IT..AND DON'T PLAN ON IT...I AM NOT ADVISING YOU QUIT..IT TAKES TIME TO WEEN OFF THOSE. I THINK MY DEPRESSION STEMS FROM PROBLEMS HERE AT HOME..I'VE JUST RECENTLY REALIZED THIS AS MY OTHER HALF IN IN DETOX NOW, SO I HAVE HAD A FEW DAYS ALONE HERE WITHOUT CLUTTERED THINKING..I WAS ALWAYS A GO GETTER SO TO SPEAK..BUT SOMETIMES I LET OTHERS PROBLEMS BECOME MY PROBLEMS..AND I CAN'T FOCUS ON MYSELF AT ALL. I SUPPOSE THERE ARE DIFFEENT TYPES OF DEPRESSION..ANY IDEA WHAT TRIGGERS THE SAD FEELINGS FOR YOU?

April 15, 2009
12:33 pm
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PreciousG
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Sunbird,

I would encourage you to see a therapist and describe what you have just described in your post. The therapist will know hwat medication if any you need to be on and the you can talk with your MD about changing medications.

After 2 years and the depression has not improved or has changed it is time to see a doctor. As Brightlights said please do not just stop taking your medication it most definetly recommended that you titrate down off the medication. Quiting cold turkey will cause you a world of hurt.

Wishing you all the best.

PreciousG

April 16, 2009
12:50 am
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sunbird90
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ok here is how i feel. does any body out there feel like they want to curl up in a hole and just die. the problem is when i get like this i push people important in my life away a lot. here is the problem i do not want to or mean to do that but sometimes it just happens any ideas

April 16, 2009
1:19 am
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truthBtold
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sunbird90,

Oh boy oh boy do I ever get you on this one!

Big time!!!!

For me, it is like I just can't handle one other thing....even if that means talking with someone else who truly cares.

Just requires too much energy on my part - even though their intentions are good.

I don't have any answers for you suffice to say that I know what it feels like to be in that place.

It's all you can do to just get through the fricking day.

It is hard to try and describe to your friends who really do not know anything of the devestation of depression.....I am kind of at a loss myself when I isolate because it is just easier to cope alone then to try and muster up the extra energy required to try to explain it.........

Best thing I have found is just to be open and honest with them, that you appreciate them....but to also tell them not to take it personally when I don't return their phone calls when the depression sets in big time.

Depression is just soooooo mis-understood!!!!!!!

You feel bad.

Then again - It is a double-whammy....you feel bad....about feeling bad when you have taken all you can take and have to try and somehow explain to someone else who doesn't suffer from it nor understand it......not to take it personally.

whew. sigh.

Extra.....EXTRA draining on our systems........

Maybe someday the medical term 'depression' will carry enough weight and validity to it that there will be no need to try and explain ourselves to others about it....thus making the problem even worse!

It will just simply be 'a given.'

Like someone is a wheel-chair or something.....just no need for explanation!!!!!

Depression? OK. No need to elaborate or explain.

We get it!

Until that time....we do the best we can.......

April 19, 2009
3:32 pm
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sexychoclady
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I have been on medication for 5 months it seem to work then my body ajusts and i have my meds ajusted. But it is so frustrating as soon as i doing good the depression comes back.latey all i want to do is sleep and stay in bed and isolate. Yesterday was the first time i thought about suicide and played the whole tape out. I wondered if i would be missed. I wondered why if i even alive. I have so much going on blls not meeting my responsibiities. Just felt like i want off the merry go round. I really get tired of doing really good. Then it is like i take a gaint step backwards.I feel so alone all the time. I know i am not..But nobody knows when i am home home struggling with life and death.Thinking.I think about my daughter she is a young lady. I wondered if she will be ok without me around.I do know where did all this pain come from.. How did i get like this.i think sometime i will end up like my father who committed suicide at age 48 sometimes i feel doomed like he did. i just don't understand..Well i know i can come here and talk. share my thoughts.I too push people away too. nobody knows my pain thats so sad.Because i am a nice person and i do have people who care.I just don't know.

April 19, 2009
4:01 pm
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Hello sunbird90,

From my own experience of depression what I learned was it is a chemical imbalance that though I stuggled with and wrestled with it for years it ultimately took an antidepressent (sp).

I don't know how long you have been on medication, yet for me it took over six weeks and then some until I felt I was me again and not the suicidal, black hole, overwhelmingly, excruciatingly painful person. Get a great physician, someone who listens and carefully prescribes a medication that over time makes a positive difference in your feelings. Until my medication was helpful I used to promise myself 'Just one more day' 'Just one more day' A great counsellor will help you walk through your "shit" and when all is said and done you absolutely will turn "shit" into fertilizer for your growth.

Best Wishes, littlesirit

April 20, 2009
4:59 am
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sexychoclady
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Well i am feeling better today. Will see how the days goes.

April 20, 2009
4:47 pm
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copingslowly
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i don't know about anyone else, but sometimes it helps me when i remember the theory that depression results from repressed anger. if that's true, then it might help to write down all the things that make you angry on a piece of paper. things that make you angry that you don't think you can talk about. some things you may be able to do something about, somethings are way beyond your control. but if i can take one or two things off that list somehow, i feel better. depression is mostly a low grade thing for me but when things get crazy it rears its ugly head and i get too stressed out and want to kill myself. during those times knowing that my higher power doesn't want me to kill anyone, not even myself, is the only thing that keeps me from taking action to end it all.

and yes, your loved ones will notice, will be severly distressed, and will resent you for killing yourself. i have had conversations with ones who had family that committed suicide, and it's not pretty. so if you care at all about their pain, find another way to cope with yours.

my love and care to all you fellow sufferers.

April 22, 2009
5:39 am
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sexychoclady
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Thanks Coping i appreciate what you had to say. I think and believe what you remember, about the theory, depression results from repressed anger. Thanks also for sharing what other family members thought after a person commits suicide...

Again really appreciate your response. I notice people on here pic and choose who they offer feed too. But thats ok. I am gonna keep posting if i hear from one person,that has something that helps me i will take it and run.. God bless and wish you well with your recovery as well.

April 22, 2009
11:26 am
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Zebra
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I to suffer from depression and have recently been put back on medication. I too have suicidal thoughts and have played the tape out as well.

I also have people that care about me and think about my kids and what pain they would go through if I actually did myself in.

I have no easy answer, but I just try to exercise, breath and take one day at a time. Sometimes it is hours for me.

Keep posting. Love, Z

April 22, 2009
8:57 pm
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sexychoclady
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Thanks Zebra for sharing. You telling my story. And i deal with it just like you.. Thanks for reminding me i am not alone means so much to me...God Bless You and stay strong

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