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How come no one noticed?
March 10, 2006
1:19 pm
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Randomwomen2
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from the age of 5 until I was 13 I would come into school drunk and on drugs this would happen a few times a week for years couldnt they smell the vodca on my breath. I just dont get how they could all have been so blind

March 10, 2006
1:22 pm
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CAMER
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maybe denial....maybe they didn't want to beleive this or assume anything...especially you being such a young age.

March 10, 2006
1:24 pm
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Randomwomen2
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it just really bugs me that no one noticedfor 10 years. My uncle told my aunt something was going on yet nothing was done

March 10, 2006
1:47 pm
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sird
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Hi Random,

If you don't mind me asking what were the circumstances that made you start drinking and taking drugs at 5?

March 10, 2006
1:49 pm
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Randomwomen2
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I was forced to by my parents they would hold me down and shoot me up and when I refused to drink they would get out the turkey baster and fill it up with vodca. IT make sex easier I guess

March 10, 2006
1:53 pm
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sird
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OMG, I am so sorry that happened to you. That is awful. How are you dealing with it? I can hardly contain my emotions right now.

March 10, 2006
1:55 pm
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Randomwomen2
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I didnt mean to cause an upset sorry. I am trying to deal with it and I dont know how. The only thing that has helped me in these past years is talking about it thats why I found this site almost a year ago

March 10, 2006
2:01 pm
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sird
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Please, you have nothing to apologize for. It just caught me off guard. I can't imagine how difficult this has been for you. It makes my problems seem so trivial. Again if you feel uncomfortable talking about it just say the word and I will fully understand. Where are your "parents" now? Have you been to counseling about it?

March 10, 2006
2:01 pm
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codyrn
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How my.....my heart and prayers go out to you....and I am very proud that you are in a safe place here to seek advice from others ...but mostly to vent your feelings.

As you get more comfortable please share more with us...and know that this is a safe place to share your anger,pain and heart.
There is help out there for you, me and anyone else on this board....be blessed and tell us more when you are ready.

March 10, 2006
2:04 pm
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Randomwomen2
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my ex step father got out of prison in november and my mother is dying of heppititas c. I have been to counseling off and on none if it has worked for me. I am not currently in couseling. The abuse happend from the age of 3 until I was 13 now I am 22

March 10, 2006
2:12 pm
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codyrn
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Tell me about your support system....what I mean by that is a close friend,church someone that you are comfortable in showing your vulnerable side with.
I have only 2 or three people that fit the "bill" in that department...

I'm sorry to hear about your mother with Hep C ...do you keep in contact with her ?

I want to assure you that although you are hurt ....deeply...that time and work on working on YOU will ease your spirit. I ahve spent half my life (44) working on everyone else when really the only person I can fix is me.
feel free to share more ...

March 10, 2006
2:13 pm
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sird
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Was he in prison for the rape? Do you have any brothers or sisters that suffered the same fate? It must be a tremendous hurdle to overcome. I can't even begin to imagine. It is such a horrendous crime. I am so proud that you survived it and are able to talk so candidly. You must have incredible strength. I would be a mess. I don't know what I would have done in your situation.

It may not seem to be helping but I think you should continue with the counseling.

March 10, 2006
2:13 pm
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Randomwomen2
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I have this site no person I can really share with it hurts my hsuband for me to talk about it cause he gets nightmares. I would rather be the one to have the nightmares than him so I just dont talk about it unless I am here

March 10, 2006
2:14 pm
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Randomwomen2
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I was an only child luckly I dont even want to imagine them doing this to more children

March 10, 2006
2:19 pm
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codyrn
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Your question was....why did no one notice ?
It is called denial .....and it is by far in my opinion the worst of all traits.
My husband was a drug addict...meth....and his family was in total denial....they still are...in fact they told me last week that they thought his addiction was pot and cocaine...... DUH....wrong....and they knew it was Meth. People who are in denial feel that it will "just go away." or "it's simply not true.....or it's not my place to address. My husband was in denial as well and as far as I can tell it is a behavior that he learned from his upbringing.
I am learning that I was a victim of someone else's [email protected]@ked up choice ....but can and shall become victorious over my spirit and place in this world...because I can but mostly because I deserve it.

Check out a thread title " I have the right to" that I did as a way of stating my rights....when comfortable consider starting your own thread to let out how you feel.... I found it very releasing for me.....because I felt that I DID NOT have rights.....but I do and so do you.....

March 10, 2006
2:23 pm
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Randomwomen2
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your right I had no rights when I was younger I remember my so called father taking me out of school and we went to a store and he had me pick from a few halloween outfits and I chose the gypsy what little girl didnt want to be one at the age of 9 anyway then he told me to pick a name he gave off a few there was candy trixy and something else I cant remember so I chose trixy and he made a sex tape I remember when i got home my mother was blindfolded and hancuffed to the bed. Her usual state when it came to sex. I wasnt safe anywere I went. Even camping

March 10, 2006
2:29 pm
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codyrn
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You are safe now though....and your spirit will be also....trust me....it will be ...

I have so much sympathy for the situation that you were forced to be in....no one deserves it....not you ....please know that.

Sometimes we in our hearts take ownership of what we experienced in our lives ....wehn we have no right to. I know I do this all the time...because it prevents me from being angry....BUT anger is not a bad thing.....it is a right that anyone has especially when we are hurt from others actions....

March 10, 2006
2:31 pm
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Randomwomen2
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its funny that you say that cause I havent gotten angry about it. I can talk about it calmly and not feel anger?

March 10, 2006
2:39 pm
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Dear Randomwomen2,

How were you finally rescued? I wish I could bring you home to live with me/us.....and it is so so neat that your husband loves you so much he cannot bear to hear about your abuse. Sometimes just being held....is the best thing.

So, with him providing the hugs, which we all wish we could do, please keep talking about how you feel about yourself now....you sound like an amazing woman with the strength of ten good souls.

Forgive me (actually, please forgive any of us) for saying things that unknowingly hurt you in the process. I recently learned the hard way that I was trying to give a dear friend hope that her drug-addicted daughter would ever change when she has been in counseling for this for 20 years, trying to learn how to cope with the never-ending addictive behavior. First she cried, because I tried to give her hope, and of course that is all she's ever wanted was the hope the daughter would change........ and then later she said I should not feel badly because it was wrong of her to ever expect someone else to understand what she and her husband have gone through.

So I know now that I must never presume to understand what it is like for someone else's story. The closest we can get is how much we can glean from how much is shared.

So first we must express outrage on your behalf.

I am amazed at some of the incredible stuff that goes on behind closed doors within families....I have a plaque on my wall that reads "Remember, as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family". I want to joke about it, because sometimes it didn't feel very normal or healthy, but I still know it was safe for all of us.

I am learning about homes where nothing was safe and trying hard to understand.

March 10, 2006
2:40 pm
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codyrn
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Yes, sometimes I tell my "story" or testimony or whatever you want to call it ...like I am writing a love story......WELL HARDLY IS IT A LOVE STORY ...ya know.
But we learn at a young age to cope or not cope.... for example when I was 7 years old I was hospitalized and they finally realized that I had a duodenal ulcer .... AT THE AGE OF 7.

But I kept everything in.... I was the adult child for a bunch of crazy people ....but I was not qualified for the job...and really did not ask for it either.

I am trying to show my anger but in the past have concealed it at all costs....but the anger is there....is yours there ?

March 10, 2006
2:43 pm
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codyrn
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Brynnie;
You are so right ......wanna take me home with ya ????

March 10, 2006
2:46 pm
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Randomwomen2
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I dont know if it is or not. I know what was done to me was wrong the drugs the alchoal the sex and everything included. I remember onetime being hancuffed to the cealing with my feel barly touching the bed I was on my tipy toes cause I couldnt get a dildo farther into me. Of course I couldnt I was 8 it was huge too I remember later bleading. This is the kind of stuff I cant tell my husband cause it would just kill him. I finaly spoke up to my cousin which I was close to when I was 13.

March 10, 2006
2:47 pm
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Randomwomen2
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oh I dont like myself now I dont like who I am I just hate myself

March 10, 2006
2:49 pm
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codyrn
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I am so grateful that you are sharing your experience....as painful as it is....
Your husband sounds like a delighful,caring and sensitive man who adores you ...and please know that you are most worthy of being adored.

March 10, 2006
2:51 pm
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Randomwomen2
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He and I have had our share of problems but we are doing a ton better.

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