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How can you be friends with someone who has hurt you?
April 23, 2004
5:25 am
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jwt
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September 30, 2010
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I had a six-year affair with my assistant at work. The whole time Elvira was chasing another man. I thought I really loved her and made no secret that I wanted to be with her. Now, looking back on everything, I can see how pathetic I must have looked to her. But, she lied to me and led me on because she wanted to use me. I was her financial security. A lot of this history is explained on the "I'm a total mess" thread.

She intends to marry the other man sometime this year. Even though I keep telling myself that I don't want Elvira, even if she were available, losing her has been very hard for me to accept. I have done my best to withdraw from her. And, that seems to be perfectly okay with her. We are at the point where there is nearly no physical or emotional affection between us.

She treats me like her best friend. I am angry and VERY hurt. But, I go along with it to maintain our working relationship. I can't fire her and I can't transfer her. I am always looking for another job but I haven't found another good one yet.

Being around her all day everyday is a constant reminder of what I thought we were, of what I hoped we would be and of what a tremendous fool I was. It makes me completely miserable when I am around her. She acts like she has no idea how I feel and says that I am acting grumpy for this reason or that reason.

I know I will never get past this until Elvira is totally out of my life. Elvira has hurt me worse than I have ever been hurt by anything else in my life. I'm tired of the pain and I don't want to be her friend.

April 25, 2004
7:09 pm
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Worried_Dad
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September 24, 2010
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jwt,

In what way were you E.'s financial security. Was it because she was your assistant and you were her boss?

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