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how can i stop lying, cheating, and using on my ex girlfriend
February 8, 2007
8:19 am
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donnie200740
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My name is Donnie, I am 39 yrs old. I have a daughter by my ex girlfriend. My ex girlfriend want me to get help because i have been doing wrong to my ex girlfriend that i been lying too much, cheating on her, treat her badly. I need help to stop myself doing that no more. She wont be my friend anymore because of last chance is gone. I need someone who can talk to her to give me chance again til i change myself. Because I dont want my daughter get hurt. Please help me, I am in louisville, Ky

February 8, 2007
8:23 am
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CAMER
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hey Donnie, have you figured out yourself why you lie & cheat and treat her badly??? there must be a reason why you do these things.....
if you are willing to change yourself for the better, I am sure you can talk to her....you are the father of her child.

Have you thought of counseling yet?

February 10, 2007
3:39 pm
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truthBtold
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Donnie,

You may want to try and set up an appointment with your local county mental health department there in Louisville.

They maybe able to help you find your own answers.

I have been to many other therapists in private practice and found that the best help I ever got was just at my local mental health department.

Please keep us posted.

p.s. on SOME level.....you probably already have some idea about why you do this yourself......a supportive person in your life will probably help to clarify that for you.

Good luck.

February 10, 2007
6:33 pm
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atalose
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donnie,

No one can get your girlfriend to be your friend again except you with your healthy actions. Actions of seeking help for yourself on why you behave badly towards someone you love.

If she truely sees you want to change yourself and are working on it, she may be open to discuss a friendship and work on your relationship.

Actions, not words are best!!!!

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

February 10, 2007
6:43 pm
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lollipop3
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Hi Donnie and welcome,

I agree that perhaps speaking to a professional can help you sort this out and figure out why you do the things you do and what you can do to change those behaviors.

Usually when we resort to unhealthy behaviors such as lying, cheating, abusing drugs and alcohol, etc., it is because we have learned to use those things as coping mechanisms at some point in our lives. Speaking to a professional may help you to understand why you resort to those coping mechanisms and give you the tools to help you cope in a more postive and healthy way.

Therapy can be difficult. It requires us to be completely honest with OURSELVES...and that can be uncomfortable and even painful at times. But if you make the commitment to yourself to do the work and hang in there....it will be worth it in the end..... For yourself, your child and anyone you have relations with in the future.

Good luck and keep posting.

Lolli

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