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How can i detatch and stop being a _itch
September 26, 2008
11:57 am
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lovesangels28
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My boyfriend recently entered methadone treatment- he made this decision his self and I am very pleased, however, although his mood has improved and he is working to fix the things in his life- he even attends NA meetings twice a week- I am still bitter about what I've had to go through when he was using and also the cost of treatment (travel 2 hours a day and $14 a day doses) is really stressing me and our relationship- sometimes i feel like i was a happier person when he was using. Now we argue all of the time and because we only have one car between us we have to be together a lot- how do i stop being so angry and nagging and really hating him as much as i love him? I want to be supportive and i want to heal. Thanks for all who help me out- you guys are wonderful!

September 26, 2008
12:00 pm
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PreciousG
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Lovesangels,

The best thing you can do for yourself is go to alanon meetings.

September 26, 2008
12:05 pm
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lovesangels28
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I do attend al-anon but only once a week or once every two weeks because our schedules are so hectic- i just don't feel a good fit with anyone to be my sponsor- what else can i do?

September 26, 2008
12:21 pm
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CrazyPink
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Maybe try to put yourself in his shoes. Go with him to these methadone treatments, go with him to the aa meetings. Maybe you will get a sense of what he's doing and how deep he really is. My sister is a heroin addict, still to this day. I know how hard it is to deal with someone like that. I don't think it is easier to cut ties with her than it is for you with this guy, just different. That is great you are trying to help him through this though. He needs all the help he can get, especially from someone who loves him.

September 26, 2008
12:24 pm
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PreciousG
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How long have you been attending alanon meetings? Sometimes you have to try different meetings and different sponors. May be you could get a ride from others in the meetings.

I would also read about addiction online. There is a lot of good information out there. Also read books/self-help books on addiction and co-dependency.

September 26, 2008
12:25 pm
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atalose
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Lovesangel,

How long have you been attending Al-anon? I know for me it took me quite a while to get a sponsor.

Are there any nar-anon meeting in your area?

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

September 26, 2008
3:36 pm
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lovesangels28
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I've been attending al-anon for 3 years and have learned a lot but i guess with the BPD and just some really tough life stuff I need extra help. Maybe i need NA/AA myself. There are no Nar-anon meetings in the area becaus it is so rural

September 27, 2008
12:44 pm
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atalose
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Keep working your al-anon program, maybe attend more meetings then you normally do.

Do you have a sponsor? Do you reach out for any help from others?

Do you feel as thought you have your own drug issues?

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

September 27, 2008
12:51 pm
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fantas
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September 29, 2010
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This is normal. While he was using you were upset at him for using and didn't look at yourself and all that you let him put you through. Now that he is getting help, you can't use that excuse to not look at yourself so now you are stuck in the past. Either way, you are avoiding looking at the real issues within you that led you to be attracted to a user and even enable him. I think this is what is underneath your anger. I think you should persist with NA/AA. Try to find a temporary sponsor who is able to help you start your steps. You obsession with the ins and outs of his obsession is your addiction. Keep posting.

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