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How are You today?
July 11, 2007
7:47 pm
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It No Longer Matters
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September 27, 2010
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Mary Poppins,
How are you today. I am doing better. I have been talking to the people around me and without exception they are all telling me that this is the best thing that could have happened. Maybe we can't see the forest for the trees. We are so involved and committed to the relationship that we don't see what others do. My real estate broker who is a good 10 years older than me and has kind of taken me under her wing has assured me that in 6 months or a year I am going to be so much better off than I am right now. She has encouraged me to take the extra time I have now that I am not spending it on a man and spend it on my career. We all know that across the country the real estate market sucks, but those who stick it out will come out better on the other end. She has been a fabulous mentor to me. My ex's friend C has been calling me to check on me. She tells me that I am so much better off without him and that she wants me to be happy and succeed. She told me success in life was the best revenge. She told me she has seen him have this pattern in the past and that while she realized I love him I am better off without him. I asked her tonight, that if he ever truly needed me would she please let me know. She said yes, but told me to move on with her life. She said she wanted to take me out for a night and that I deserved to meet a man who valued me. She also told me that she had talked to R's mother and told her how obnoxious he was and that his problems with me were all on his back.
Each day is getting easier. I am surprised. I was so wrapped up in him and all the things we did together, but guess what? Direct TV can install TiVo on my TV and I can watch all the same programs I used to watch with him on my TV in my bedroom. I have some money in the bank and I can buy a good bottle of wine and savor it by myself. (I figure if I announce to the world wide web that I am having a glass of really good chardonney I am not drinking in secret, therefore I am not in danger of becoming an alcoholic.)
Tonight I grilled a chicken breast and had a sack-o-salad caeser salad and savored my glass of wine with dinner. This has to be better for me than having a heavy pasta dinner with him a 9 pm.
Right now I am going to be totally selfish. My daughter goes to her dad's tomorrow through the weekend and I am worried about entertaining myself, but I put out the call to all of my friends and told them this is my first weekend without my daughter and without R and that I really needed them to keep me entertained until I could figure out how to entertain myself and you know what? They all said they would be happy to. I guess a girl can't ask for anymore than that.
Please let me know how the rest of you are coping.

Bitsy

July 11, 2007
8:30 pm
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sad sack
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Hi Bitsy,

I am not familiar with the background of your story, but I just wanted to support you at this time. Yes, I agree, that it is so important to learn how to entertain yourself and to be comfortable in your own company.

I am assuming that you are the product of a recent breakup. From your post, it appears that you have a positive attitude and are ready to focus on yourself (which is a good thing).

I wish you the best. Have some fun this weekend.

Sad

July 12, 2007
3:24 pm
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It No Longer Matters
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SAd sac thanks. I spoke to another acquaintance/friend today and he spent the 4th of July with R. He is a divorced man who raised his son on his own. He told me that R drank too much on the 4th, got obnoxious, started having a pitty party, got really obnoxious, and almost got bounced out of the club they were in because of what he was trying to do to the women. When they got back to the condo he continued to drink and feel sorry for himself that he was never going to meet anyone and that no one loved him. Hello? What was I? Anyway, this other man told me I was lucky to be rid of him. R had tried to kiss my friends date. He told me any man of quality would understand taking second place to my child when she was around and if he didn't to move on to the next. He also encouraged me not to start trying to date again anytime soon. He told me to focus on me and my daughter. Then he was very kind to follow that up and tell me he would take me to lunch one day next week just to talk and let me vent. He told me that it could take me up to a year to get over loving R, that you just didn't turn off feelings. It was really helpful to hear these things from a man. Somehow when your girlfriends tell you you can discount them but if another man tells you what a dog another man is maybe it carries some weight. Maybe I am just dense???

Bitsy

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