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horsefly needs totalk to a friend
November 27, 2009
4:59 pm
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horsefly
this is off....be on this forum for years....not just since last year..we can email each other Now? that Nappy is long gone....
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Happy Thanksgiving Everyone, I have finally figured out what I have been feeling lately and I think the war is finally over for me. I know there will be more battles , but not a full blown war with my self and courts and doctorsand breakingup with the N boufriend I lived with for 10 years. Every since the horse mauled me years ago. I finaly have found out where I stand.

I found this site about ayear after the horse attack .......so that was it started with pieces of my life written all aover this site and with so many special people here. All that were here and some are still here and who is ever here, I just feel grateful for this site.

So I am going to lick my wounds in the time I spent for awhile and recover . I have my place , my diability ........FINALLY, know what Is wrong with me and can stay treated.

When I got here I was completely spirtually lost and wounded and an emotional wreak. In real life was a nightmare......I sought comfort here and got it. Or learned something about myself to grow off of. People I could get along with and the one's I could not.

Last month was the closure for me losing the WC case. So I can start my whole life over again. I was mauled by the horse when I was 48 and I am now 52. I thought everything I had to go through was never going to end. It was a long haul my friends. So there has been a big change in me now that I am finding my real self again.

I am spent several desparate years. Now I am just beginning again and healing with all of you . So Thank You all for being here and SC and organization. Love, horsefly

November 27, 2009
5:30 pm
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It No Longer Matters
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{{{{{horsefly}}}}}

Bitsy

November 27, 2009
5:48 pm
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Isis
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(((Horsefly)))

It must feel great to leave all that in the past and finally move forward. You go girl!

You've come a long way baby!

Isis

November 30, 2009
2:46 pm
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truthBtold
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((((Horsefly,))))

Your open, honest and sensitive post touched me deeply.

I am so glad for you that you have finally put closure and, as you say, can start your whole life over again.

tBt

November 30, 2009
3:58 pm
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MsGuided
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(((Pegasus)))

You have opted for resolve and peace. So where will you fly to now?
I mean, what ideas do you have to make your life fuller?

Not putting pressure on you.
I ask myself the same question and am trying to act on a few things.

Be Well!

December 5, 2009
10:18 pm
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horsefly
this is off....be on this forum for years....not just since last year..we can email each other Now? that Nappy is long gone....
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((Thank You My Friends))) I am not sure what I am going to do now. Time will tell all and too much, I am resting and sorting things out.......Horsefly....((((((My dear friends...............love to all ))))

December 7, 2009
9:19 am
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soofoo
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((((((((Horsefly)))))))

Take some time to grieve this loss.

December 7, 2009
3:50 pm
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horsefly
this is off....be on this forum for years....not just since last year..we can email each other Now? that Nappy is long gone....
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My dear friends.......so many...caring and everything. (soofoo,MsG, ma, razor, tw, chenolia, bitsy, sd, red, terriberry, autmumn.....and many , if I keep up I will not be about to write.

The grinch was after me. I had my cable cut off and bills unpayed. I am on a humbled fixed income. But my medical is payed. Today I went to a church with grants to help me with my energy bill. They will pay half in 2 days.

I went to the bank to cover my basics with my trailer payment.....Talk to the trailer people and bank people. I am good for now.........this week.

I had not talked to my brother since last month...........CHRISTMAS IS HERE!! He is sending me check. Not much.........400 dollars helps so much. I have been nothing but within myself........saving myself for my spiritual surviving.......prayers for guidance and strength, One step starts with one step of belief, Love to All of My Friends, horsefly

December 8, 2009
9:04 pm
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Celtic1
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((((HORSEFLY)))) I've missed your wisdom. 🙂

Celtic

December 8, 2009
10:05 pm
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Tumbleweed8
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Horsefly, Im sorry to hear you are having such a struggle. Good that you are getting some help though. I know in my family all of us are ending this year with very limited finances as Im sure are so many this year. So, we are not alone in this. Please take care, okay. Love, TW and a hug for Sister, too.

December 8, 2009
10:14 pm
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sdesigns
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(((((Horsefly)))))

As they say, one day at a time. But I sure wish it wasn't such a struggle for you and only comes in bits and pieces. But I guess the moral of the story is to be grateful for the bits and pieces as they come, right?

Thats great your brother is helping you.

I'm skipping Christmas this year- completely skipping it, ignoring it, moving right past it, right into next year. No baking, no cards, no gifts, no decorations- nada. Bah humbug!

sd

December 9, 2009
9:03 am
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horsefly
this is off....be on this forum for years....not just since last year..we can email each other Now? that Nappy is long gone....
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Thank you tw, sd, and Celtic ( I have missed you too.

I saw it coming.......my cable contract ran out a few months ago and my bill went up for basic cable and phone ......40 dollars more. So I returned my phone in oct. and got a att land line. They kept screwing with my bill.....I have oayed them every month for over a year and a half. Just because they said I owed them 30 but couldn't say why.......they sent someone out to turn it off 2 weeks ago. I told them they will never get another dime from me.

I am already behind on my lot rent double. I had no idea what I was going to do. my brother said he was going to help me but I didn't know when.

I put my trailer payment for this month and phone bill in the bank. I am close to saving for a satelite tv. I hope I will get it by xmas. With my brother's money.

I am at home all the time and not having tv when you live alone is depressing. I just shut down......I felt so defeated...........the cable company shut it off the day before I got my disability check which to me was unforgivable........I didn't even have a chance.....I don't get it. I had payed my bill the month before. It was a nightmare,

No xmas here for me sd either.........I just want a tv. A more reliable company. Not bullies.

But with this help I may be able to. I am staying warm and I love my brother to help me get caught up and for once have everthing functioning and have stability. It never ends.

I want to be strong and start a new life and all I can do is keep hoping it will all work out. Thank You , Love, horsefly

December 9, 2009
11:31 am
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sdesigns
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Horsefly: You have probably already done this, and I don't know whats available in your state- but have you contacted the utility companies to have your rate lowered? I did that- first time ever- had to prove how low my income is now- and I pay a much lower rate.

If no TV, do you like to read? Is there a local library? I've been getting books from the library to amuse myself- even DVDs sometimes- it all free. I used to buy used books- I won't even do that anymore. PLUS I walk to the library instead of drive, to save gas $$.

thats about all I can do. I know what you mean about climbing the walls with nothing to do.

(((((Horsefly)))))

sd

December 9, 2009
11:41 am
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MsGuided
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(((Pegasus)))

Keep up the good fight, and search for relief with programs, and maybe what sd suggested.

December 9, 2009
3:46 pm
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horsefly
this is off....be on this forum for years....not just since last year..we can email each other Now? that Nappy is long gone....
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(((sd ((MsG))) , I know it sounds kinda silly being upset about a damn tv. It was just the way it happened and iy was not right. I have been out all day long until I finally broke down crying at the grocery store.

I got the 400 dollars from my brother and put my money in the bank for my trailer payment and phone. I bought sister dogfood and my groceries. I have a DVD player and rented 10 i dollar movies for aweek. That way I can save for my satelite. Other than that at the end of the month I start my series of epideral shots again. All January.

Istopped at a second hand store and bought 6 or 7 jeans.......size 8 or 10 not sure what but they fit. Iam proud my pants fit. haha. So I don't get out much......But I am PEGUSUS and right now I am scared, but my brother has seed me enought to breath. It is hard to write........so much to said and I have been so withdrawn. MY arm is giving me hell for being out in the stores and the church assistinet payed half of my energy bill, LOve, HF

December 9, 2009
5:35 pm
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red blonde
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((((Horsefly))))

I am in worse shape than you are at the moment, HF!

What is your computer on? Telephone line, cable or wifi?

Check out:

http://www.hulu.com

I watch that a lot of times!

December 9, 2009
6:50 pm
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horsefly
this is off....be on this forum for years....not just since last year..we can email each other Now? that Nappy is long gone....
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(((((((((Red))))))))))) you must be in a horrible way. I just talked to the bank and they called me to a apologize that my trailer payment wasn't taken out right last month by accident.

I knew that , the money was there. Another long story. Just stress.

I have a att phone line with a 10 dollar disability lifeline.

I have energy.

I have my lot rent included with water.

I pay trash pickup.

I have a 158 amonth trailer note for another year and a half.

I have a 98 dell laptop , my son gave me......the year he was in high school......I pay netco monthly.

I think I have my bills finally as cheap as possible, just a few behind.

My cave will not be complete without a satelite to see the world........this computer does not get videos.

The inventory...tehe......Love ya, Red.

How are You?

I have my rocking chair and good dog so I am not at all forsaken.

December 9, 2009
6:57 pm
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horsefly
this is off....be on this forum for years....not just since last year..we can email each other Now? that Nappy is long gone....
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Red, I have done my homework and if there is anything I can help you with please let me know, Love, HF

December 9, 2009
7:54 pm
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StronginHim77
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I feel so bad for all your struggles, Horsefly.

You deserve a miracle.

- Ma Strong

December 9, 2009
7:58 pm
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red blonde
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(((((PEGASUS)))))

The economy really sucks down here... SC has an average of 14.2% unemployment.... (one town has 22%). Businesses and restuarants are closing more and more each week... as this 'recession' goes on, and on, and on......

SOOOO, I might need some pointers shortly. And whatever I find out, I will pass along to you and anyone else who needs it.

Doing what I can at the moment.

Filling out applications, going on interviews (been doing this since a year ago November!,) contacting different offices and departments that the county, state and federal offer to help getting a jobs

Went to my Senator's local office today, they offered to help me on my Disability/SSI Appeal... they will push the Appeal through quicker... (SSA does a lot more for a Senator than a 'citizen').

Beginning of March, I can get regular Soc. Sec. benefits. Just need to hang in there til then.

So you cannot get Hulu on your computer?

Like I always said, HF, that cave looks mighty comfy and like home right now!! he he!

XO

Red!

December 9, 2009
9:01 pm
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horsefly
this is off....be on this forum for years....not just since last year..we can email each other Now? that Nappy is long gone....
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AHHH Red !! My cave is becoming more and more like home. I will check about Hulu very soon. You just keep on with your special self and Go!

((((Ma Strong))))) I already feel like I am a miracle because I see light at the end of the tunnel).

If I ever have had a miracle ..............maybe if there were angels out there............You are one and Nappy. Love, horsefly

December 11, 2009
9:39 pm
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Horsefly- Sorry I havent posted much. Been very busy with a new addition to my family. I love thrift stores. I noticed they have quite a few TV's in them. Your trailer sounds nice. Very nice. How do you like your neighbors.

December 12, 2009
1:02 am
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horsefly
this is off....be on this forum for years....not just since last year..we can email each other Now? that Nappy is long gone....
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Destiny, I am not zure if my laptop Iis cutting out on me now, That is why in and out, Love , HF

December 12, 2009
1:11 am
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horsefly
this is off....be on this forum for years....not just since last year..we can email each other Now? that Nappy is long gone....
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Destiny, I am having a bad time...speaking my emotions, Thank You. Love, horsefly

December 13, 2009
8:54 am
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horsefly
this is off....be on this forum for years....not just since last year..we can email each other Now? that Nappy is long gone....
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Hello Destiny and Friends, I have had a rough week and this computer is driving me nuts. It is very old and I have to be careful at anything. So I just don'tpost as much. I lose material and I can't even get the news on it.

So, speaking of thriftshops.......I bought coffeepot at one and it blew out the circuit in my kitchen this week, there has been a hard freeze here and all I can do is keep sister and me warm.

Today is has warmed up. I like it here and a few neighbors..........but I still do not have a life out there yet. I haven't seen the ex in 4 months and I am usually lonely.

I go back to the pain clinic at the end of this month for epidural treatments again. But they really really help.

Hopefully, I will get my satelite dish this week........

I have been depressed and don't want to admit it. My son said this computer was old .........I have few skills anyway and my patience wears thin with it. My arm gets messed up easy. So I don't mean to sound like a whiner.

But it is hard to start a new life and meet knew friends at 52 and figure out where I fit in at. Seems like I lived in my own imagination for so long and I am now waking up.

I am going to try to send this and hope I don't hit a screw me button.

Des, who is your new addition the horse and baby is back ?

Love, horsefly

I get real aggravated with this computer, so I am trrying.

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