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Horsefly looking for emotionla supportive
September 18, 2009
10:01 pm
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horsefly
this is off....be on this forum for years....not just since last year..we can email each other Now? that Nappy is long gone....
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Hi friends, My story is along one. Too long. I am just now able to be on a computer because I don't have one anymore. I am looking for support and encouragement from who can offer me any. Horsefly

September 18, 2009
10:04 pm
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horsefly
this is off....be on this forum for years....not just since last year..we can email each other Now? that Nappy is long gone....
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The title was supoose to read emotion support......not msking up new wrords.....just have a hard time writing them...tehe.....HF

September 18, 2009
10:12 pm
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fantas
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(((horsefly))), here is all the positive hugs you want!!

September 18, 2009
10:16 pm
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_anonymous
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Horsefly- I have missed you soooo much. You know you can always count on me for support.

Horse Power,

Destinystar

September 18, 2009
10:31 pm
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razor
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Horsefly!
So glad you are back. You are among friends here.

September 18, 2009
11:26 pm
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horsefly
this is off....be on this forum for years....not just since last year..we can email each other Now? that Nappy is long gone....
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Thank You, (((Fantas)) (((Destiny)) (((Razor!))). I wrote some on tumbleweed's thread. But I am swalow up with specialist. Seems more is wrong with me than I could dream uo. Fear as over come me. Losing my computer make it worse. I have found a treatment plan for copendent and PTsd and all mu mental obssessions and I am getting help. But one would now believe all I have been through. I miss you all so much.

Panick attacks started after my seizures and the epideral shots. I am just stuck masking my pai, I have been to physical therapy atleast 100 hundred times. The RHemotoligist will at least disciver why I am deteririating. I have lost 3o pounds and have bee conquering my depression. I just want to be have ass normal. JUst alittle.My atropy is worst and etc....... My mind is a squieerls nest, I am on e=axiety meds. Hightsight says....I saw it coming and was just distracting myself. But this is up to me. I have been dealing with these horsebite 4 years now and I need closure. THe WC will come.....this fall.....I need the money because this has not be real , but it is real , too real now. Unforunately i will only beable to around a computer this weekend in and out. But I need arrurance and validation from those who now me in a bad way. Things have been just too much. Anything thing kind from anyne is good enough for me......without all the details...I am still determined to figh this rare horsebite disease that the docctor's are baffled about. That you so much, LOve, horsefly

September 18, 2009
11:33 pm
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soofoo
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Dear Horsefly,
You are very strong and you will come through this rough time. You will find treatments that work better for you. Hold on. I love you and I'm so glad to see you. I came "here" tonight very upset but instantly feel better to see you here.

September 18, 2009
11:38 pm
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horsefly
this is off....be on this forum for years....not just since last year..we can email each other Now? that Nappy is long gone....
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OH I made a alot of writing error.....felt like I wa sending out a desperate SOS. The decision witllcome about the WC, but doesn't mean they won't drag it on. The insurance co has let this reach high numbers of money they owe me. My little check is not enough to survivr on.......any hope of working again is just accepttrd without doubt from me. I just want a computer ....I am a little isolate on the lake and you all have always beeen such great comfort. I get lonely sometimes because I have to soort out so much constantly....I have a had time trusting doctors anyway......they overlook so much and then just send you on to the next specialist. to me I call them Jack in th Boxes.....I aver analize any medication....that is why I go to pain management.....I can not control my pain at alll anymore.....LOve, horefly

September 18, 2009
11:46 pm
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horsefly
this is off....be on this forum for years....not just since last year..we can email each other Now? that Nappy is long gone....
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(((((sssssooooooffffooooooo))))) You have made my day. I have must to tell you. THe lessons I have learned and I am actualyy seeking spiritual relieve and working the codependent principlas. I am going to make it and bring me back up. This has been a bad trip for so long. I love you too soofoo, so glad uo are still around. Sister is happy.....I am just the one panicked and frustrated......I am learning to not doubt myself and listen to my own self , I 've got to...these doctors think they are gods...they are mortals too. Then once I know what I am dealing with. I will figure out my own treatment plan. Thanks so much again. Your beloved friend, horsefly

September 18, 2009
11:54 pm
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through_the_fire
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Horsefly,

I have missed you so much.

I know what physical and emotional exhaustion is. I think you are right when you say you can do for yourself-- but with the help and love of others. If only more doctors knew how much real care and love heals.

Sending you lots of warmth,

Fire

September 18, 2009
11:56 pm
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autumn128
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((((((((horsefly))))))))

Missed you!

Autumn

September 19, 2009
12:25 am
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horsefly
this is off....be on this forum for years....not just since last year..we can email each other Now? that Nappy is long gone....
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Thank You Fire and Autumn, I am back in my hometown for suportive from thefriends here I had before. Iam getting adecent haircut.....I cannot hanle myy hair...it needs to cut because my arm just can't deal with it. You all have calmed me doen just knowing you are still here.

that is so good to know. I only jave until Sunday to be around a computer. I am curious about everyone's life. Destiny , if you get a chance fill me in on what is happing with you.

I will try to read up on some of you if I have the time. Fire you alway put me in perpective and give me strenght, same to you autumn. Fantas hope you are doing well and always good to hear your positive thoughts. I felt so out of touch because alot of you know me better than the person next to me. So my mind is easeup quite abit. The stories I could tell , since I have last talked to you all.

I have firmly believed now....this do happen for a reason and I have open up to the wonders of the universe and watching things unfold, I have no control of anything but my own reactions within myself. And of course nothing happens on my time table.....got that figured out for sure. I hear not what I want but take what I can use. After all I am the only thtais responsible for my happiness as others are for their oww. As usual I learn things the hard way. Sometimes over and over again. but I still have a since of humour that has been one of my biggest survivor tools. I will be able to sleep tonight...which has been hard lately.......but I am having a hair makeover tommorrow.....so with that being said Love to my Fiends and Goodnight, horsefly

September 19, 2009
12:41 am
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horsefly
this is off....be on this forum for years....not just since last year..we can email each other Now? that Nappy is long gone....
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Almost forgot (((((((Razor)))))) big hug , I mmissed are funny chats,

((Dest))) oNce I get a computer I look forward to are horse chats

(((((((((((for others)))))

Goodnight zzzzzzzzzzzz h fly

September 19, 2009
7:45 am
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It No Longer Matters
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Oh Horsefly!!! It is so good to see you here. I am so sorry you are still having to go through all of this. We all miss you so much and only want the best for you.
{{{{{{{{{HORSEFLY}}}}}}}}}}}

Bitsy

September 19, 2009
11:59 am
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_anonymous
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Horsefly- It is so good to see you back. I am sorry to here that you are experiencing an exacerbation of your problems. I know going to doctors can be extremly frustrating. But, their are some good ones out there, I hope you find one. I remember you were happy to find your spot on the lake. I live in extreme isolation. I have lived that way for 10 years, but have gown tired of the situation and will be moving when my son graduates high school in June.

Thank you for asking about my life. My pony went back to my friends house. She is due to have a baby anytime. I bred her to a mini. My daughter is due to have a baby soon I look forward to his birth. My oldest son is graduating high school a year early this June. I am very proud of him. I divorced my husband last year. He is clean and sober and we are on good terms.

I have been going to doctors as well. So I can understand your predicament. Stress can take a toll on a person. You sound really depressed and stressed out. The loss of independence and getting older can take a toll on a person very quickly. That WC thing can drive anyone insane especially having to worry about money.

Just want to let you know I am sooo hear for you. Take a deep breath, relax.

May the horse power be with you.

Destinystar

September 20, 2009
8:32 am
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horsefly
this is off....be on this forum for years....not just since last year..we can email each other Now? that Nappy is long gone....
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Dear Friends, Thnak you so much for your support and just knowing you are still here. I got the best haircut I have had in years while I was here. Great for my self esteem. Plus I feel recharged and I will leave today to go home. Yes.....I have a home. Miracles do happen. I like and sister does too.

I just was hoping tostay in touch some till I get my computer again. I have been stressed out and doctored out but I see hope that this will be over and my life witll get better. I depended on you all so long I just didn;t want to just disappear. But I will return again sometime and I bet I will have a lot of things worked out and these last 4 years will be behind me. I will know what I am dealing with and accept and move on.

You are all special to me and I miss all of are conversations . So love to you all and may the Force be with you......Horse Power and keep on taking care of each other, Now sure when I will pop back up again......but recovery is slow and I am doing the best I can. See I am already calmer. Take Care, Horesefly

September 20, 2009
8:34 am
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horsefly
this is off....be on this forum for years....not just since last year..we can email each other Now? that Nappy is long gone....
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(((((((Bitsy))))) for you , Untill we meet again. LOve, horsefly

September 20, 2009
8:54 am
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horsefly
this is off....be on this forum for years....not just since last year..we can email each other Now? that Nappy is long gone....
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Before I go I want to mention I appreciate everyone's suport becuase I know you and I take what you say to heart and I needed the input and you came through. Destiny , I read your post about three times and it made alot of sense to me. I feel grateful I have friends that have followed my long and complicated story. It is so hared to explain anymore. So just wanted you you to know how much it meant to me. All of you gave me something and I am taking it home with me. LOve, horsefly

I hope the doctors take care of you and it sounds like you are doing well with your horses and life....I am sure we will have more to discuss later. Bye for Now

September 20, 2009
8:55 am
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alien
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((((((((FLY))))))))))) LoViNg YoU!! 😉

September 20, 2009
10:17 am
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_anonymous
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Horsefly- I will always remember you.

Love,
Destinystar

September 20, 2009
2:11 pm
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CAMER
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hi HF, good to see you posting!!! sending you huge ((((hugs))))) soo much going on with me, moving, no computer, too much to post. Just wanted to give you a quick shout out!!!(((camer)))

September 23, 2009
10:10 am
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Friendma
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((((((((((HORSEFLY))))))))))

September 25, 2009
12:20 am
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sdesigns
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Hi Horsefly:

Glad to see you back- you seem so exhausted. You've been thru so much, its just not fair, where is justice in the system, I wish people were taken care of properly. I hope things get resolved for you very soon.

sd

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