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HORRIBLE CONFESSION AND THIS IS SO EMBARRESSING
May 24, 2007
4:56 pm
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loverbee
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Ok, considering you all are anonymous I feel I can admit this...I E.T. am a huge disgusting slob. I mean when I put my mind to it, I really get into cleaning but I am so disorganized and being organized just doesn't seem to come naturally to me. When I think about cleaning I just don't want to but when I get started, I do a great job and I don't mind. Its just finding that initial push that I need to find in myself. I also need to be able to KEEP THINGS CLEAN, not just clean up when there is a mess. I will be cleaning the entire house every other day if I can't learn to stay organized. Anyone have any suggestions. I really think it is important right now because I am going through such huge issues right now. Any advice.

May 24, 2007
5:03 pm
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Loralei
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May 24, 2007
5:13 pm
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loverbee
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I have read the fly lady book and it did wonders for making me clean but I still am so bad at keeping it clean.

May 24, 2007
5:15 pm
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fantas
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Loverbee, Good for you for admitting this:). I see it already, as you get your other life in order and as things begin to fall in their place in your life, you will see that order will come into your home as well. How neat our homes are, is a reflection of our spiritual, mental and emotional state. Keep thinking and inviting order into your life. And watch it happen. Reading about the changes you are seeking in your other threads tells me that earlier on you must have intended to have order and the universe is answering your prayers. So keep intending it. I am so happy for you!!

May 24, 2007
5:17 pm
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Randomwomen2
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sweetheart we are in the same boat. I am trying to be almost obsessive compulsive about cleaning. I found that I am more depressed when my house is a mess. for the past week I have been cleaning everyday for a few hours. I put my favorite music going (christian) and get cleaning no matter how I feel. I find that after a few days it gets easier and easier to get it done. If I can do it you can do it. (((Loverbee))))

May 24, 2007
5:21 pm
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Pom 34
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Well, I am a slob, too. Very disorganized.

I saw a sign once that said:

"Boring people have immaculate houses"

Now, I know this can't possibly be true, but I am hanging on to this for now! 🙂 Excellent justification! I'll clean when I am ready to clean; I, too, have to be in the mood.

I do hope that one day I will reach a level that Fantas here has mentioned and I believe in the flow of Chi and all that is important, but I am still unmotivated. Perhaps I will visit the fly lady site, too.

When I'm ready...

🙂

May 24, 2007
5:56 pm
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loverbee
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I think the reason this all started was because my parents are such psychos. when i was nine, my dad started this whole schedule thing. He made laminated fifteen minute schedules that went a little like this...
530 wake up and go running
600 shower and get dressed
615 make bed and clean up breakfast
630 go over homework with dad because you need to know how your are going to organize yourself later.
If I even had a shirt draping over the chair instead of in the closet, then I would be grounded for three weeks...no tv, friends, radio or books. I had to do chores. Usually waxing all the hardwood floors in our house on all fours with a polishing rag or scrubbing my parents bathroom or dusting the plants...you get the pic. I think the reason that I am so opposed to cleanning is because of that. Its like a reaction formation or something.

May 24, 2007
5:57 pm
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loverbee
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by the way, why do plants need to be dusted?

May 24, 2007
6:08 pm
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bevdee
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So they will look shiny and clean.

May 24, 2007
6:11 pm
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loverbee
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The worst was that my step mother would never help me clean, she would just stand over me and tell me that I "missed a spot and I needed to start over." which is why I hated her so much. With my sister, my stepmother was so jealous that her boobs weren't as big so my sister had to wear bras that were so small on her they gave her bruises because my stepmom refused to buy a bigger size for her.

May 24, 2007
7:37 pm
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Randomwomen2
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I had what was called the table program. I would go to school and when I got home I had to sit at this desk for 2 hours then I had 15 minutes to call a friend then sit at the table for a while longer then clean house and fix dinner and If I went to bed before my chores were done then when my parents got home at 11pm they would wake me to do dishes or what ever. They would call me randomly so I would have to be home and I was extremely loyal. I did what I was told. This went on from the age of 7 until I was 9

May 24, 2007
7:37 pm
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bevdee
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Loverbee

Have you ever seen How Clean Is Your House? on BBC network? I would recommend that for inspiration. These ladies come in and actually rope off these houses with yellow crime scene tape!

May 24, 2007
7:44 pm
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sleepless in uk
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Well..

Let me tell you a fantastic motto I once heard....

'Boring Women Have Immaculate Homes'

If that is true I must be the most exciting woman ever born!!!!!!

May 24, 2007
7:45 pm
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sleepless in uk
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Oh Bev..that programme is so gross....I cant eat my dinner for days afterwards!!!

May 24, 2007
7:52 pm
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bevdee
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Sleepless

LOL

May 24, 2007
7:54 pm
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loverbee
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No one would have to rope my house off or anything but its not that organized either. I spent 4-12th grade grounded about 85 percent of the time. It became very difficult to keep friends this way until I learned to sneak out. That helped and I was quite good at it. But I never did drugs and I never drank or had sex. I couldn't even have my first boyfriend until I was almost 16. It sucked.

May 24, 2007
9:38 pm
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When we don't 'control' our environment it controls us. The "socalled mess" reinforces our position of being out of control.

I have in my life gone the other way and washed my kitchen floor three times a day for years and it didn't make me happy either.

Now a happy medium or balance is in my life and I clean two or three times a week. And play the other times because I feel I enjoy and deserve it.

Also I live alone so I am not cleaning up after others which was much of my life for many years.

May 24, 2007
10:01 pm
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loverbee
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I think that I resent cleaning up after others ( my nutcase father and bitch stepmother) and now I am going the opposite way. How do you stop associating cleaning with bad experiences when I have so many of them?

May 24, 2007
10:24 pm
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Ned 348
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My mother is a neat freak. She still is to this day. I can defy anyone to catch her off gaurd and see her house in even an untidy state. One time she admitted to me that she even makes herself sick sometimes.

Anyway I think part of the reason why my house wasn't organized was because of too much clutter that I can't seem to let go of. When I was with my wife I swore the cleaning problem was because of depression because she would never help. She was never here most of the time and when she was, she was always tired. I'm still sticking to that theory.

But now what I decided to do to get the clening mojo back was write down what I needed to accomplish on paper and then devote 15 - 20 minutes to cleaning a day. I knew I could do 15 minutes. Guess what? That worked for me. I really got into the spirit and started cleaning and organizing all over. Now I come in and I make sure I look over the mail and throw out anything that is junk. Anything that needs to be shredded goes where it should go. I pick up and wipe down and just started changing old habits into better ones.

It really feels good to have a organized house (still too much clutter). I also made a schedule so that I can do, let's say the bathroom every two weeks and the kitchen every two weeks thoroughly. I alternate between areas. I'll vacuum the living room every so often as needed and I'll clean the basement and keep it organized. I don't want to spend my whole weekend cleaning so I do some cleaning for a little while (20 minutes a night a couple or three nights) during the week then I only need 45 minutes on a Saturday as long as I keep on schedule.

Without a schedule I don't think about cleaning the tub, refrigerator, or the stove until it takes a lot of elbow grease and then I dread the thought of doing it so I procrastinate and end up with a messy house all over again.

May 24, 2007
10:28 pm
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loverbee
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when you put it like that, with a schedule and everything, I may with time and practice be able to start keeping it up. Kind of like the workout regimine I started keeping. It took me a year to be able to get into the routine of it. I hope I do ok.

May 24, 2007
10:46 pm
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Well today the cleaning is not about them but about me. My parents were both drunks and the house was often a mess.

I did my own laundry, I had to when I was ten in order to have something clean to wear to school, and the kitchen sink was overflowing from days ago with dishes.

But you know what, I vowed not for me and my life. It was a way of breaking free from them and their influence. Today I am tidy and pretty clean but not the opposite ends of the spectrum anymore ... the super clean or super messy. Balance

May 24, 2007
11:00 pm
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loverbee
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Its kind of wierd to think about how much conflicting messages I got when i was young. I went from living with a drunk who couldn't keep the house clean to being a slave in the house of an OCD patient. Even when iwas living with the ocd in the house I still had to spend weekends in the drunks house until I was like 11. So of course its difficult for me to find a balance.

May 24, 2007
11:19 pm
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fantas
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I say the point is to live in a clean and tidy environment...there are not hard rules about me being the one who does it. 20-30 bucks every two weeks can get a lot of cleaning done without me having to lift a finger:). I live a lone so even ones a month works for me. Except for kitchen and bathroom that I wipe down myself.

May 25, 2007
8:06 am
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Robert123
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After reading on here 'plants need to be dusted' I broke out the lemon pledge and gave mine a nice shine...now they are dead. Just kidding. Actually, I am hiring a cleaning lady to help me out. She is supposed to start this week sometime. Even if she only comes once a month that will be a big help. After my divorce I tried to do everything cook, clean, etc. now I realize I can't do it all. I gave up on cooking. Now I am giving up on cleaning. I would rather work a few extra hours a month and pay someone to do it. She can do in 4 hours what it would take me 8...plus I drag it out over several days.

May 25, 2007
8:18 am
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risingfromtheashes
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loverbee...I am like you and here is what I came up with.

first of all, my mom attempted suicide when I was 11 - and when she came home, we all walked on eggshells and I took on many adult responsibilities in the home - like housekeeping. My brother got to sit on his lazy butt, while I did all the work...they had every excuse why he couldn't do chores...but I had to do them all...laundry, dishes, clean bathrooms, make mom's waterbed (to her exacting specifications), dust, vacuum...etc. I also babysat and frequently cleaned for them too.

Now - I find that I cannot STAY clean, but I can certainly GET clean...once the mood strikes me that is.

And part of it is that

A) I don't want to spend my free time tidying up all the time

B) I get a bigger sense of accomplishment if I can SEE the difference...meaning if it's a big mess and I get it looking great, I have a bigger sense of accomplishment than if I tidy up and it doesn't look like I did much.

Plus, if I dust, and the rest of the room isn't tidy, it defeats the purpose in my mind. It's like I have to do it all or not do anything.

All or nothing is a huge theme in my life too...not sure why....kinda goes with my black and white thinking.

All I can say is you can either fix it...thru sheer determination. Or you can accept that that is how you are and just enjoy life.

I found that the less I stress over my messes, the better/happier I am.

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