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honesty help
June 19, 2006
1:58 pm
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axle
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i need help telling the truth. i dont know why i lie about stupid things or anything in general but i do. its like i get high off of it but at the same time it eats at me when i do it. i want so badly to put an end to it but i dont know where to begin for help.

June 19, 2006
2:37 pm
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CAMER
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try to stop the lying yourself....cuz you are lying to others, and you are lying to yourself, cuz you are not telling the truth.

Give it a try and be honest,,,,,is there a reason why you lie?? are you ashamed of anything or want to be like others and tell them things you may think they want to hear?? just guessing on this one.

June 19, 2006
2:58 pm
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axle
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i try to do that and do really well for a bit but i seem to always fail. i am just so ready to end it.

June 19, 2006
3:26 pm
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Mardoll
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How about starting with correcting yourself when you know you've told a lie?

"XYZ.... Actually, no, I'm sorry, ABC would be more accurate."

I've even heard people say something, and then say "Oh, no, I lied, it's ABC" - admittedly, they're being funny about it, but apparently most of our culture things being wrong or mistaken is somehow worse than lying, so folks will cover mistakes with a declaration that they MEANT to do that. *shrugs*

Anyway, everybody makes mistakes. It's hard to stop a long-term habit. That doesn't mean it isn't worth the effort, but perhaps an intermediate step would be to simply correct yourself whenever you catch yourself in a lie.

June 20, 2006
3:55 pm
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axle
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i do that now with most things but sometimes i dont even realize that i have told lie until later. i have a ton of people in my life but i feel so alone. this is the hardest thing for me to change. i dont know where it startedwhy it started or anything like i just know that it makes me feel worthless.

June 20, 2006
4:00 pm
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Mardoll
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I admit I'm unclear how you can tell a lie without knowing it's a lie - isn't that not so much lying as being mistaken in your memory or something?

*tilts head*

The same concept remains, however. If you know you've got something wrong, correct yourself. If you don't realize until later that you misspoke, then go back after the fact and say "oh, by the way, I remembered after we parted that it wasn't ABC, it was actually XYZ".

--Ember--

June 20, 2006
4:14 pm
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jastypes
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I am working on honesty with money issues. I have an accountability partner who I am trying to be completely, brutally honest with about my finances. It's been really, really hard, but I've done it now for a week. I know that doesn't sound like much, but it's an accomplishment for me. Perhaps you need to find one person to hold you accountable. Someone you can trust. Then you can tell that person when you've lied to someone else. Once you start confessing it, you can probably start to change it, and then build on your successes one day at a time.

June 20, 2006
4:25 pm
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ggfred4
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axle,
I too lie. I think it gives me control plus I lie to answer how people want me to answer (the codep thing). Sometimes I think it is just best to lie. It's what people want. Yes, I know it's wrong, and I am trying to do better, but sometimes the truth hurts!

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