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Holiday support/chat/share/keep each other company...etc. thread
December 9, 2007
11:30 am
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Codi202
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What could you get/do for them that would cost you absolutely NOTHING and would be envied by others?

Hmmm?

Bake them something?

How about a book?

about health? something that is beyond where the mother is at at the moment but is very relevent?
and the child, what does she LOVE or talk about becoming? something that is of interest to her.

I once got a gift from a relative who had financial problems she was going through one christmas. She got here daughter to get clippings from her friends at school of MY favorite group. The daughtor went through my scrapbook and compared what she had found with what I had (and any other things I had) and I wound up with a box full of clippings, picures and magazines that I didn't even know were "out there".
She apologized to me because she couldn't buy me something. I was shocked! I told here the truth about here gift...it was the best gift I had gotten, in my opinion!

I love telling that story.

December 10, 2007
10:30 am
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goinghome
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Giving is hard for me especially this time of year. It is hard because I give too much. I am often very hurt when my gifts are not received well. I gave a friend a birthday gift this year and she took it back and exchanged it. I bought the gift in a very exclusive store. Spent more then was appropriate and much more then I could afford. I thought that I had found the perfect gift. When I saw it I thought OH I have to get that for her she will LOVE it. She didn't love it and took it back to the store. She not only exchanged it but put some of her own money with it and even bought some thing that I had actually laughed about thinking it was horrible and ugly.

December 10, 2007
12:07 pm
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Codi202
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I wouldn't take that personally. I would bet she did that to a lot of people.

December 10, 2007
12:19 pm
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goinghome
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Codi, Well she used to love the gifts I gave her, but we have drifted apart. She is a widow and recently turned 60. I am much younger then she and she seemed to resent me in the past for that... we have been friends for several years. Then about a year ago she started dating again, she started going to a local bar and was looking there for men. She started making new friends that wanted to go the the bars. I am not really into that, but I did go to the bar a couple of times with her just for something different to do. When we went there she thought that I was getting all the attention. She didn't come right out and say it, but she didn't want me around there with here. No problem for me because I was not comfortable going to the bars. I am married and I don't need that sort of temptation. I did have fun watching and talking to the men though... 😉 Anyway... we have drifted apart...she has a new close friend (gal) that is even younger then me. She is now trying to be like her. Dresses very inappropriately for her age and her body type, she is over weight and 60 and dressing like she is thin and 20. That alone was enough to make it difficult for me to pick out a gift for her. I guess the gift was more appropriate... OK yes I need to detach! DETACH

Enough said! I have actually detached since then, like I said we have drifted apart. We will always be good friends, but it is WAY more comfortable for me to have her at a safe distance...It all got to weirdo for me...I am good with how things are now. "big sigh or relief - for real!"

She was actually one of the very few female friends that I had. I am much better with guy friends for some reason. I do have a couple of really good female friends again now though...My very best friend is a tomboy type, but I can tell her anything and she will understand. She does NOT try to be like me and we never compete! That is important to me.

Hah listen to me vent! WOW that felt good. Thanks Codi!

December 11, 2007
5:56 pm
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Rasputin
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Hey there,

I purchased some lovely candles scented & unscented candles for the forthcoming festive season as well as incense and they have been a source of blessing to me. When I take my foam bath, I light a candle, dim lights and bring forth a book. At bedtime, I light an incense stick and put it on my nightstand table and immerse myself in one of the lovely books I have. They are really relaxing, soothing, spiritual, de-stressing after a long hard-working day.

So keep the fragrance and scent going!!!!

My favourtie fragrace/scent is....Vanilla. I just love it!!!

December 22, 2007
3:53 pm
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Codi202
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*BUMP*

this wasn't easy to find once it disappeared from the front page.
I forgot what it was called.
Here it is bumped up again

December 22, 2007
4:36 pm
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Codi202
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Is anybody out there?

It feels real strange being home. I am overwhelmed by the isolation for some reason. Maybe its the weather. Maybe its the virus that still lingers.
loss of someone I wanted to know and love who died LAST YEAR, and I am only now realizing deep down that he is really gone. That its real.
During this past year, I began to remember things -- perhaps I should put that in another thread. They say there are no false memories, but last year --more now...was traumatic in that there was a lot of abuse in the workplace and fear of losing appartment and the impending loss of this man. There's more, but I just want to mention what is happening here. How it is affecting me this holiday. I used to have people to chat with on line, but that died when he did.

I think I am scared.
Its dank and cool here, maybe that is making it worse.

I am going out to eat and bring something home to cook. I didn't know that this cold front was coming.
i wasn't prepared.

Will there be someone to talk to later?

December 22, 2007
4:48 pm
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razor
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Codi
Why is it strange being home?
Do you live by yourself?

December 22, 2007
4:59 pm
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Codi202
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((((razor)))Thanks

Yes, I have lived alone for years and enjoyed it.

Today is different. I have the next 4 days off.I would have worked a few hours today for the extra money, but found I didn't get much sleep and still felt sick. It was too cool out to walk around so I took a hot HOT shower and got some sleep. I felt alright but I felt so alone this time.

I have a lot that I wanted to accomplish, and I have a movie on tv, but something...maybe the promise of something better is missing. Maybe I am still in morning, but I want to stop and move on now.

Do you know what i mean.

December 22, 2007
5:06 pm
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razor
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Codi,

I lived by myself for several years until recently when my DIL and the 2 little ones moved in.
I liked the living alone part but I didn't like feeling like I had lost something (like the love of my life and all that)

But for many many days I woke up and didn't know why I should get out of bed and I really thought my life was over. I didn't like days off at all.

Has your breakup been recent. I have read a lot of your postings but I must be having a senior moment.

December 23, 2007
3:55 pm
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Codi202
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It wasn't a break up, as I wouldn't let him near me (I mean, really near me). He was married.

But he was a kind and giving man, and wanted to help me...I realize that now. Then, I thought I was doing the right thing.

However, I will never forgive myself for the way I rejected him. He was not a bad man. He thought he was doing the right thing. He just had a different past, and had different values.

The people that i work with arent' the most honest. The job is ending and my choice is to leave or take on the new program, in which they have placed all the people that we thought had been fired.
I am in a precariious position.
I am also not recognized among those who know the man i love. I am thought of in a negitive way.
"Your damned if you do, and your damned if you don't" in that situation.

And I needed his help. The job has pulled out the rug from under me for the third time.

The sun was shining today. it helped a gread deal.
Its behind clouds again though.

It helped to go out.
My holiday bonus helped too. The bills are getting paid. The people at the place I had dinner are always welcoming and nice, even though I walk in alone.
So are those at the grocery store.

It got chilly, and i can't get the planned tan. But I will organize some and get some other things done.

I will make a dinner that will last the entire week, and i will finally get rid of this cold.

it will find a way to make it a great few days off. I just never expected the emotions to go the way they did. It was so hard dealing

Thank you razor for your response. It was good to have someone at least acknowlege me and what i was feeling.

I went to dinner right after my last post. it was the right thing to do I think. I went right to sleep when I came home.
((((huggs)))
And happy holidays.
I will keep this thread active. 🙂

December 23, 2007
4:02 pm
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newday1
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hi codi22,it is good to know u intend to check out this thread-maybe we can help each other out with some stuff this holiday season. sorry to hear about ur break up such as it was. it probably was the right decision. recently i have had a married man just trying to be nice to me,never suggested anything more even tho i knew he wouldnt say no if u know what i mean. i rejected even his friendship as he wanted it conducted in a secretive way and i began feeling guilty even about that.

anyway the holiday season is going to be difficult for me all things considered. i live alone,usually go to parents but there has been a lot of aggro this year and i havent been asked yet,not even sure i want to go,but struggling on my own to tell you the truth.

December 23, 2007
4:05 pm
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meetmeinhvn
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Like you codi I have the etire week off and wish it would end tomorrow. I was doing so well. No gifts to get no cards to send and no one to call. I am so lonely my phone hasnt rung in 2 days and know it wont until after the holiay and not to see how I am doing. I started to cry again today. I dont want to be alone

December 23, 2007
4:13 pm
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Anonymous
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Holidays are tough... Years ago I felt very sad that my bros and siss went their own ways. this year we´re getting together but I don´t look forward to it. I´ll be there for two days and one night. They were so nice as to get me a hotel room. Just feel xmas has been for kids and less and less about reflection.

Wonder if these annual ritual was made to check on how everyone is doing, competing...

December 23, 2007
4:49 pm
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Codi202
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(((newday1)))

(((meetmeinhvn)))

(((sininho)))

(((Razor))) and (((everyone else, here)))

Thats why I started this thread. We can support each other. Then we are NOT alone. There are fun and productive things we can do. That was part of the plan too. We can provide links, Ideas, and especially support.

Its dusk here, and I seem to be okay. My cold is better and I am hungry. I can't believe that the day is almost gone.

There is a christmas anamitated movie about santa claus on tonight that I plan to watch. I just saw TAXI and DON JUAN -- I have movies if I cannot find something on tv. I might do some laundry, but I might have dinner out again...

I have a want list.

Keven Trudeau has an offer to give away both of his health books for just shipping. I have the first and may get this.

I have some herbs for cleansing. I took them today. I didn't use them for months. The job is not psychologically good. Right now, I hope to think of this as a "vacation" there will be sun here, and I plan to get my first real tan in 15 years of living here.
I plan to get organized and get rid of those vulchers that want money that the job won't let me earn.

It will be cool later and I will put the least expensive turkey Icould find in the ovena s I watch movies and drink some fine vanella rum that I got at a closeout.
I was able to give this to some friends as well. Its value at retail is 5 times as much. I was lucky to find that, the turkey, and to get a decent christmas bonus.

I think it helps to have good boul movements too. More herbs tonight and in the morning. Even the cold seems better.

Guys. Lets talk.

I just made a quick recipe that I will share.. I will be getting healthier in the future, but for now I will indulge.

It is made with instant vanilla pudding, some milk, sour cream and cream cheese. I put all in a bleander --less milk than you would be used for the pudding. (I got all of the ingredients on sale, and a site that I go to published the simple recipe without the cream cheese).

Everything blends in the blender. Then i poured it into a premade graham chracker crust that only cost 1.25. Then I showered and went to bead (by the way, I turned over the cover of the "crust" to cover the pie. I have eaten half of it already. It is rich, but light and fluffy. It takes 5 minutes to make.

I am thinking to add some pumpkin to the next one.

But I am also going to eat much healthie next year.
Paradox?

December 23, 2007
7:45 pm
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Codi202
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"The wrappings and the ribbons" only...
Or the essence of Christmas...

Focusing on the "essence of Christmas" (as this wise pastor calls it) has helped me get throught what would have been lonely holidays in the past. I always learn something, eat something good in the mean time and there are no holiday arguements.
I also shop for what I need when I find a bargain. I call them gifts t o myself, they honestly are. I get what i want and spend little.

No one to please, no one to put us down. Then I will walk into that "job" with a big smile and answer no questions spacifically.

when it comes to the problems there, I will tell myself "this too shall pass"...

Then take steps to "make it so"

December 23, 2007
8:05 pm
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razor
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((Codi))
This will be the first christmas in several years that I will really enjoy.
I am living proof that things can get better AND there doesn't even have to be a man in the picture!!!

I did not believe that was possible for a long time but thank God it is.

My daughter in law has done most of the decorating and having the 2 little ones in the house makes it seem more like christmas.
For a lot of years I just went through the motions of christmas and my heart was too broke to feel anything except miserable.

BTW your pie sounds good. And I got a christmas bonus today too that made me feel pretty good!

December 24, 2007
11:13 am
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Codi202
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Santa is in the Himalayas in Nepal at the time of this posting!

http://www.noradsanta.org/

December 24, 2007
12:04 pm
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Codi202
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Santa Sightings on youtube:

"Noradtrackssanta" is also there.
just go to the previous post's link and find the videos link there.

you can also learn about the places he's been. Great for kids...
Wait a minute...I never knew about....

🙂

December 24, 2007
1:19 pm
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I am so lonely right now I hate the holiday. I cant stop crying rght now. I am crumbling I dont want to go anywhere the little tree I had on the table charlie brown one I threw it in the trash and abd put a black ytable cloth on the table He ,(the ex) I'm sure is having a wonderful holiday and I sit here alone as usual, I hate him I hate christmas

December 24, 2007
3:13 pm
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Codi202
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(((Meet)))
Its not Christmas' fault that people are the way they are.

What is going on in your mind. Is it what others think?

Can I help you in any way?

Is it the craving for someone or certain people in particular?

Are you mourning loss right now?
Can occupying your mind help, as it helps me? Learning something new, planning for a future. Treating yourself well as you have yourself a comfortable day off tomarrow.
Lets share christmas eve togeather?
Want to watch a movie?
What is playing on your tv?
Here is a guide from yahoo that I havent' had a chance to read yet:
http://tv.yahoo.com/slideshow/.....5/photos/1

I have just taken some lessons on cooking my turkey (my food for most of next week) the right way for a change (yahoo cooking videos.)
What will you be eating?

I have flylady. I have a goals tape and some videos and tv movies listings. I have some good vanilla rum that i gave to some people at work as a gift (it was on close out for just a few dollars!, lol) I have one for me while I watch movies.
I don'tseem to have time for the laundry...
I used to cook while watching the parade and then listening to a back to basics Christmas program.
I go on line and learn. I plan what I can buy on a bargain next week, hee hee.
I plan a future without them that is the best revenge...

Can I give you links to find info maybe?

What do you need to buy at the grocery store so you can cook yourself something nice.

I will be here.
(who wants to go out into the traffic anyway! :))
I'd get a tan, but its hazy out there. I may go to the pool anyway as I do laundry tomarrow. I can read if its too cool. I haven't had time to read the books I have or to organize them...what about you? what Have you wanted to do!

Saturday, I went out to dinner and then to the grocery store. What others thought didn't matter. but I have established a pattern of doing that and i am not uncomfrotable doing it.
Can you go somewhere that you would enjoy that is nearby?

Did you know that Christmas day is one of the busiest days for movie theatres. One year(2000) I went to three movies on new years day...
I saw all the movies on my list. I drank champeign and ate at the Applebees in the complex there,...All by myself!
some people work on the holidays.
I used to. I thought of it as a party that i attended for free. I got a free meal and drinks to boot (I was a waitress, lol)
My mother, who was home with family complained and complained...see how that can go.

Find the silver lining!

Talk to us during the holiday! thats what this thread is for!

December 24, 2007
3:25 pm
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Meetme, I am having the same problems.. I hate my STBXH and christmas isn't looking so well to me right now. I found out that my ex just bought my kids a Wii for xmas. Funny how I make so much more money than him, he left and now is spending money like mad!! I refuse to buy my girls' love. We had it out again today cuz I asked him if he came to the house yesterday and changed something on the computer. He blew up at me. I was just asking so that I can fix or replace whatever it was he may have done or taken. He said a lot of nasty things again, sayin I am attacking him. He makes so much stuff up!! he got upset when I told him I was glad he can afford all kinds of nice things for the kids. He told me they deserve the best, and in his world, the best seems to be materialistic. I mentioned to him that that wasn't good parenting. Then he attacked my parenting... unbelievable!!! I think that he is seriously desperate right now. Keeps telling me " i don't want you so get over it"
I am soooo over him leaving me!!! Its just my girls that I am concerned about now. I know that I will be better off without him. And my children hopefully won't have to hear him call me a "fucking bitch" or any other name that he is famous for throwing at me.

December 24, 2007
4:12 pm
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Codi202
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DirbyGirl, I used to have this toy on my refrigerator. I don't remember how I got it, but you can rest assured that it was either free or in some clearance bin, lol.

It was from some animabed movie. when you pressed it's button it said:
"...I give him a YA!...and a HI YA!
And some other silly "fight back" phrases.
I think of it as I read your post, lol!

He needs to feel the results of his actions. He will one day.

(((hugs)))

December 24, 2007
8:00 pm
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Codi202
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well, what do ya know. Santa's in Paris!

December 24, 2007
8:05 pm
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Codi202
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And Michael Bolton is singing on the Home Shopping channel...Hee 🙂

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