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HOLIDAY BLUES
November 1, 2005
10:41 pm
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dean 5
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During the 16 years married to my wife .
I really do not think that I loved her.
The last last three in half years was the worst for me , Their was not many times that I can remember being happy with her .
We lived in our home as room mates not as man & wife . Before I left she would cry if she found out if I was leaving so I stayed during the holidays of 2003 . She would buy gifts for her family . Christams eve comes up and she said where are you going for christmas? Because mom & dad does not want you at their house. So I went to my step mothers and the wife cried because I did not take her over to my step mothers. Christmas 2004 I back to work and the same thing goes down she buys the gifts for her famialy . She is going on like nothing has gone wrong, This time I she did not even ask but the bi*** used my money that I would work ot and drive two hours one way too work . And did even say thank you
This is going to be my first chrismas along do not know how I am going to deal with it .

November 1, 2005
10:46 pm
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lost and found
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are you seperated now? why didn't her parents want you around. there has to be alot more to this story.

November 1, 2005
11:32 pm
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gingerleigh
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The holidays only come once a year. What is going on the other 11 months of the year?

November 2, 2005
6:55 am
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dean 5
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Lost and found
Yes we are seperated.
It was my choice to do so. Had to leave . Her parents did not want me around due to the way I was treating her that year. Yet they took the gifts that she used my money for.
their is a whole lot to this story.

What am I doing to try not think about this to much work 16 hours for the rest of Nov. and 12 hours in Dec & can not wait until Jan.15 2006 that way all of the holidays have passed.

The rest of the 11 mo. of the year I work. That is one of the signs of codependency is it? work our self to death.

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