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High 5 to me - 14 days NC
September 6, 2005
10:44 pm
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LovesPurple2760
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I'm so proud of myself in that today is my 14th day of NC with my ex-boyfriend. This is the longest I've gone without calling him or going to his house because I missed him. I think the biggest factor in my staying away is the weekend I spent with him and his family in which he and his sister talked about their extreme lives in such a normal tone that it frightened me. It made me realized that I could not handle living their "normal." (My prior posts are Reflection on taking trip with my ex, Patience is so hard and Trying to get a grasp on my own life)

I have had few weak moments but have had no desire to call him or even drive by anywhere he might be. I triumph in the fact that I am able to think of all the bad that was in our relationship and all the harm that it caused me and not let myself miss him or the life he talked about wanting to build with me.

Last night I even read a 20+ bulleted list he made (at my request) over a year ago of reasons why I should give him another chance. In reading it, I wasn't saddened but it reaffirmed my desire to stay away from him. (I didn't go looking for the list but found it when cleaning out a room I was cleaning up.) High 5 to me!!!

I want to thank all of you who post their stories and those who respond and give advice. Sometimes you never know who you may have helped by sharing your lifes' experiences.

Thanks everyone!

September 6, 2005
11:04 pm
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realangel
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Good for you! I know how hard it can be!! 🙂

September 6, 2005
11:10 pm
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gingerleigh
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Yay for you! Totally giving you a High 5, GF!

September 6, 2005
11:11 pm
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exoticflower
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doube high five, one for each glorious week! And now even if you slip up, you've had all of this time to heal, I think that will really help you to get where you are again should (knock on wood) you contact him down the road. Time heals, and you must be healing quite nicely!

September 6, 2005
11:20 pm
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LovesPurple2760
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exotic - your talk of healing made me think of the one thing that I've done that has helped me the most. I've decided to forgive myself for allowing myself to love, believe in and have hope for a life with someone who was completely unable to be what he talked about wanting and having out of life. Alcohol will always be his #1 and only true love in his life.

Some of you may wonder if he has attempted to contact me, the answer is no. I knew he wouldn't. He is cold and hard hearted. He had a daughter who had had absolutely nothing to do with for the first 10 years of her life and only in the last 2 has he consistently been in her life. I started dating him 1 1/2 years ago and at that time he would pick her up on Saturday before noon and she'd spend 99% of her time at his house in a separate room watching television. I encouraged him to one on one time with her and get to know her. Little by little, he started doing more with her (of course, most of the time it was something I had planned!)

So, his oldness and hard heartedness is my "insurance" and if I can continue to heal and move on, the past will become the past forever and I will not get weak.

Thanks!

September 6, 2005
11:23 pm
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LovesPurple2760
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sorry his "coldness!"

September 6, 2005
11:33 pm
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22haha
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Lovespurple,
An inspiring post. High fiving you from the East coast.

September 7, 2005
4:35 am
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alyssa
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AMAZING!!!!!!!!!! YOU DEFINATLEY GET HIGH 5'S FROM ME!!!!!!!!!! KEEP IT GOING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

September 7, 2005
7:45 am
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CAMER
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more high 5's to you girl!!!! keep up the good work and know you are doing the right thing!!!

September 7, 2005
9:31 am
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Anonymous
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a big WOOHOO!!!! for you!!!!!!

you have done well grasshopper!

keep up the good work!

September 7, 2005
9:32 am
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2bstrong
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Hey lovespurple!

Congratulations. You are doing great. Just from experience, the longer you go without contact, the easier it gets. I experienced terrible withdrawal symptoms, but made it through.

Focus on you, you, you. Treat yourself like the wonderful person that you are. Make the most of this time to learn new things about yourself...make a list of all of the good things about yourself that you have to offer this world and all of the people in it...You are a gift!

hugs--2b

September 7, 2005
10:58 am
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taj64
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Im proud of you too. Wow! Just think in a few more weeks or months you will wonder what you saw in him. It is ok to miss him. And you don't have to be subjected to the drama anymore. You are setting yourself up for better things in life. You've learned, you've conquered, you are in charge of your own life now. What a great feeling!

September 7, 2005
11:18 am
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geminismiles
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Sometimes in our moments of weakness, that is when we stop and realize our own strenghts! Keep on growing and learning..High 5's to you! Keep up the great perspective you have! 🙂

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