Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
Hi it's me nattie again....
January 13, 2003
12:58 am
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Haven't been here in awhlie. Benn trying to work on doing this alone but need you guys again.

Most of you know my story and I'm having a hard time right now. I am very alone and I have lost some friends. My 2 friends who I use to work with have been very good to me and have told me that I make them upset. They don't like my ex for obvious reasons and have asked for their advice and in turn have gone back to him. Not listening to them and not seeing them as much. Now I am broken off with him and I don't see them like I use to. I feel like I am stuck in being alone to figure things out but they just can't accept that now I guess. They are mad when I don't call as much and mad that I don't visit them or see how they are. Sometimes I feel safer just being alone right now, I know it's not a good thing cause I have a problem with isolating but I don't know I just can't seem to get back into the groove. Even with my family who I haven't seen in almost 10 months since i went away to rehab. I've beens stuck here in this same spot for such a long time, i can't even unpack my stuff in my apt. that I moved into when I went away........ururrughghgh I'm so sad, alone, angry, withdrawn and sick everyday. Please help

xo

January 13, 2003
7:20 am
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

nattie
glad to see you! I know all about the isolating stuff, and isn't really any fun. Good start to just talking about whats going on with ya.

Again welcome back
((((nattie))))

January 13, 2003
8:25 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi Nattie. I am new to writing on this site but wanted you to know that you are not alone. Even though you can't see us online, there are many people who truly care about you and what is going on in your life. I know that it is very hard to not isolate yourself when you are hurting, but you have to make yourself reach out to those around you. It was great that you knew to come here for support. That is exactly what you will get :).

January 13, 2003
8:59 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hey Nattie, whasup girl? Sounds like you are going through some tough stuff. You made the break, and maybe you've made some progress in cleaning out those wounds, but how to fill up the hole, ya? If those people are really your friends, they will come around. Sure, they get angry and hurt, just like we all do, but as time goes by, they might be willing to rekindle friendships slowly. Just takes time, right? Nice to see you...

January 14, 2003
2:32 am
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

this is what my friend wrote and I'm feeling realy bad about how I am lately. I can't help that I am like that. Sometimes I don't want to be around anyone cause I'm scared how I may feel or act. It's stupid I know but that's how I've felt.

Anyway below is an email I got from my friend who I apparently hurt.....

Hi Bud.....I had a feeling that something was bugging you, but I waited till you brought it up. I sensed it over the past week or so. I have to be brutally honest and say that you have treated us badly. I know that for my part, not getting so much as a card from you for Christmas hurt me deeply. I was terribly sick, but at the time, all you cared about was being with him. I told you earlier that you focused so much on him, that you let your friends go by the wayside. We had done alot for you. I also remembered the other times you had thrown us aside, and the times you've hurt me. I will say that you've beaten me up terribly. You know how much I care for you, yet you just kept hurting me. I won't discuss the times I took you home to make sure you were safe, when he didn't even care. Maybe you thought I was treating you like a girlfriend, but somebody had to. He certainly wasn't. All I cared about was making sure you were ok. If that was wrong, then I'm guilty.

I guess it's true that you hurt those who love you most. That's why I've put some distance between us. I was hurt by your actions over Christmas, and didn't want it to happen again. I said that you would eventually wind up with noone, and you're damn close to it.

I've stayed around, because you know I have a place in my heart for you. I came to the conclusion that you needed to see what you were doing to everyone. I wasn't helping you by being so close, and frankly, I wasn't helping myself. I was tired of throwing love at you, and getting hurt in return.

I guess that you needed to see what had been done, and how you isolated yourself before you could make the changes that are necessary. In Pug and Stacie's case, I know their wedding is this Saturday. Coupled with that, she has been terribly sick this past month, so I don't know if that's the reason she hasn't answered ya. Did you ever answer the wedding invitation? If you didn't, then I would say that's the reason she hasn't responded. I know that when you were going through that rough period last year, they tried to help you, but you kept repeating the same mistakes, so eventually they got tired, and let ya slide. I think when ya came back, you could have made a fresh start, but ya went back to him, and the problems of isolating yourself, and letting your friends rot took hold. I know that Pug and Stacie had a lot of planning to do for the wedding, and with her being ill lately, it hasn't been easy. As for John and Mikey, I think the same thing applies. I think they just felt after awhile that you didn't care, so they just decided to let things slide.

Martha's case is more complicated. I think that when you moved in, she expected that you would be around to help her when she needed it. I know you did for awhile, then you stopped. We both know the reason why. I know it's difficult dealing with the kids, and the problems that her and Jim are having, but I think if you had gone down and babysat the kids, or maybe cooked them dinner to give Martha a rest would have helped her alot. She's been terribly sik and stressed out these past couple of months, and I think she hoped you would help out, but it wasn't there. I also think that the shenanigans of your roomate have caused a strain as well. I think you jumped into that one too quickly, and I know you realize that as well. I also think that Martha being a landlord may have caused a strain. I'm not sure about that one, you'd have to ask her. I think that the two of you have to talk this out. I can only offer observations.

As for me, well, as I said I decided to put some distance between us. I realized that the only way you were going to come out of this, was by yourself. All my talk and advice was doing no good. It was only through actually facing this that you would realize what was going on. I realized I was enabling you again. Just like I did when you were drinking. I didn't want that to happen again. It's a regret that has haunted me, and will for the rest of my life. I think the turning point for me was the last time I sent you flowers, and you thought they were from him. That hurt me. I know you think things are safe when you isolate yourself, but in reality, all you're doing is hurting yourself, and those who REALLY care about you. I will cite Christmas as an example. You spent your time with him, did nothing, and wound up isolating yourself from all your family and friends. Now you're at a point where you are alone. Now you have to determine to make a change, and mend fences. the fact that you'e going to dinner with your dad, is a great start. Keep seeing other people. The more you get back with these people, the better you'll feel. Isolating yourself is not safety, it's a dead end. The last time I pointed this out to you, you sent me a reply that was angry, and hurtful. you tried to justify your actions, and said you were tired of saying I'm sorry. You wouldn't get tired of it, if you meant it when you said it. I told you that actions speak louder than words, and even though you said you were sorry, you kept going back, and doing the same things.The fact that you wrote me this email, brings me to the conclusion that you really want to make things right. It's going to take time, because you did burn some bridges, but I think you will find that people will welcome you back happily.

I know that you have a good heart. remember, I know you better than you think I do. I think that you have a tendency to think of yourself at times, and not look at the big picture. You have to get awya from that, and circulate with the rest of the world. I solating yourself is no answer. You have to let others help you. Isolating yourself only demonstrates selfishness, meaning you're only thinking how things are affecting you. By doing that, you cut yourself off from those who care about you, and want to help you. You also miss the suffering you cause others by doing that, and that is selfish. It may not seem like it, but it is. It's funny, but I was thinking of you last night, and for some reason I could feel you needed me. I would have come on, but I was so tired, that I couldn't rouse myself to do it. I hoped that you would call, but I guess you felt it was too late. So you see, I'm still here, but I've kept my distance. I know your feelings well. I guess you know that I can see right into yoor soul. I always could. Never could figure out why. Guess I never will.

I think I've answered your question. Now you have to do what you have to to correct it. It won't be easy, as I said, but I think that the effort will be well worth it. I think that a lot of people are just waiting for you to make the first move. There's no more hiding. You have to face this, and make your way back. I think you can do it. I know you have a good heart, and care about others, now you have to show it. I wrote all this to help you. I still love you, but now you have to show everyone that you love them still. And I know you can, and will. I wrote this with love, and not malice. Keep that in mind. As I said I still love you very much, and I know the others do as well. You have to make the changes to bring them back. And I believe they will. It will take time, but it will happen. Take care BUD!

January 14, 2003
3:24 am
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Sounds like she really cares for you...

January 14, 2003
3:49 am
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi Nattie,
I felt manipulation come from her letter. It felt controlling to me.
I tend to isolate myself from my friends and family while I am going through rough times because I have nothing positive to say and I try to work things out in private.
I am sorry you are feeling bad.
I don't really know all the circumstance even after reading her letter. She has stated what she thought you should have done...Where is the love and acceptance? I heard empty words? My family knows when they don't hear from me, that I am suffering silently. That's usually when they call and ask me what is happening. That is support to me.
For what it is worth...Hugs to You!

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 247
Currently Online:
30
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110929
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38539
Posts: 714213
Newest Members:
stanley, LarteyWellnessGroup, dr ado spell caster, Leslie Ann Satin, overmyhead201, delight1080
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer