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HI FRIENDS, WHAT DO YOU ALL THINK ABOUT THIS?
February 24, 2007
7:52 am
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taj64
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I think day dates are the best first dates and also when you spend a whole day together. You can get to know the person as they are during the day. And doing something fun such as snowboarding is really a plus. I think you are gong to have a great time. I think it is about time here for you. You have spent a lot of time grieving and it is time to let go of it. And it is really sweet that this girl is pretty and likes you for who you are. Be yourself, cuz that is the person that will attract the right person. And if this one does not work out then there will be yet another pretty girl around the corner. Im so happy for you that you are getting out there and living life.

February 25, 2007
10:06 pm
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santino
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Hello all, Our snowboarding trip was cancelled 🙁 She had to work. But, on a good note, we did meet up for dinner. We ate and sat in the restaurant for a long time, we were actually the last ones out. In the end, as much as I wanted to, I didn't kiss her. I walked her to her car and gave her a big fat hugg. She thanked me for dinner and she drove off. It was a nice night. 🙂

February 26, 2007
6:57 am
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taj64
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You do not have to kiss on the first date. Actually it is good to wait. It was not the right moment. Im happy for you to have a good time, that you are attracted to someone else. When you get attracted to someone else, then that means you are letting go of someone else. That is a very good sign. What is she like? What do you like about her?

February 26, 2007
7:47 am
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santino
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Hello Taj: It was a nice nite. I like the fact that shes the complete opposite of my ex 🙂 Shes able to make her own decisions, shes mature, she career driven. She knows what she wants and just goes for it.

This was kind of wierd, check this out, I woke up this morning and I was thinking about a time we spent together about a year ago. All my friends were having dinner together and she was talking about how one of her work friends was all broken up becuase his girl left her for another man and how she felt really bad for him becuase he was suicidal. That guy was my ex's ex boyfriend, the guy she is with now. Small world huh! I completely forgot that they use to work together. That was wierd. This new gal, never knew that I was the other guy, at the time I thought it was irrelevent cause we weren't close enough to talk about those type of things. Now that we are closer do you think I should tell her that I was the other guy? Or should I let it go. What do you think? She does know that we didn't care for eachother, he had actually told her that it was my fault that they broke up, again at the time I didn't think it was none of her business so I denied it completely. Oops 🙂

February 26, 2007
7:58 pm
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taj64
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I would let it go. Unless it is brought up in conversation. You just be yourself for now and let nature takes it course. No sense in talking about anything to do with the ex. You're not supposed to talk about the ex at least for next few dates or so. It is supposed to be about getting to know each other, just each other, not others. Im so happy for you 🙂

February 27, 2007
4:14 am
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santino
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Thanks Taj, great idea. Mums the word 🙂

We had a nice day today, we chatted all day. We didn't get to see eachother but it was ok. We bought tickets to go see "the muse" today online! Thats our favorite rock band, we are gonna have so much fun!!!

The ex is fading, I'm glad I'm getting over her.

February 27, 2007
7:34 pm
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taj64
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Well I have met someone today. Actually I have noticed him for awhile. I noticed him noticing me. It is strange. But he is first guy in a long time I met that I feel somewhat attracted to. But, I do know he is much younger than me. I can tell because he looks younger. I am 43. I have a feeling he is either in his 30s or even late 20s. And that is too young. I know I have said many times age does not matter. Anyway after all the noticing, we struck up a real conversation and yep he has asked me out. And now I feel some anxiety setting on already, like when is he going to call, etc. I found myself feeling excited and thinking about it too much. That is a bad sign I think. I think I will never be able to have a real relationship because I think when I find a guy I am really attracted to or think I like, that I will become too attached. It has been a problem my whole life. I have had very few relationships, plenty of dates, more than my share, yet whenever I really like a guy, which is far and few inbetween, they do not work out because I get hurt. I don't want to be hurt again, never. I know what it is like and Im too fearful of going through it again. I find myself thinking of millions of tihngs to talk about which is also very rare for me to want to do. I met him at work and now I will see him at work.So far, no call. I gave him my number tonight, which I do not give out lightly. I wonder tonight. And I will wonder tomorrow.

Wow I am so happy for you to be in this situation. I have heard of the Muse. I am into music too, always have been. I like rock, alternative rock, pretty much all kinds. U2 is my ultimate fav classic. Lately I popped in my Counting Crows as I love them. I have multitude of bands that I like. Summer will be great, concerts etc.

February 27, 2007
8:42 pm
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santino
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Hey Taj!! Thats great, that you gave your number out!! Who cares how old he is, just have fun! Just don't rush into it, I know it's hard for cause we are very similar, I don't want to et hurt either and I too get attached very quick. This time I'm taking it slow. Real slow. I love U2 too!! I have seen them in concert 2 times!!! One of the best shows I have ever seen. I saw the counting crows once 2!! They opened for Oasis, that was a great show!! You showed get into Muse, they're really good, this will be my 3rd time seeing them, they put on a hella good show!

If we go into relationships thinking this is the one we are sabotaging ourselfs. Take it slow Taj, don't expect 2 much and just go out and have fun!!! Let me know how it goes k!!!

February 28, 2007
12:52 pm
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nappy
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Santino and Taj, I am so proud of you two. I have follow your stories since I have been on here and you two are just amazing.
You can be a inspiration to others that feel that the world is going to end but it didn't. The whole key is to take it one day at a time and I see that you both are trying to do just that. After a while the ex's is just going to be just that a big fat fax (X X X X X)(smile)

See I had already knew that you two were one of god angels and that you will be bless.

And Taj. You are a beautiful person, why wouldn't a man look at you and see your beauty. Let yourself shine and be the person that god has intended you to be. Don't be afraid be being hurt. As long as we are on this earth and we are humans, we are going to be hurt, it just that we have to know how to handle it and not get stuck into that moment. And don't be afraid to ask him out, even if it is for a cup of coffee. This is your way of getting to know him, and don't worry about the age. Now of days, the younger mens are looking at older womens. It's not always about the sex, they just figure that the older woman got her [email protected]@ together and he don't have to mess around with someone who does not have a clue.

taj and Santino, you both deserve to be happy and let your light shine.

February 28, 2007
2:20 pm
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santino
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Thanks Nappy! I have always respected your advise and I appreciate you always being there for me, Thanks!!

I have to admit, the days are getting better ever since this new gal has come into my life. I don't think of the ex as much as I did in the past. When I do think of her, it's not like it use to be. The fantasy is gone. The truth, I can see now, it wasn't a fantasy, it was a nightmare 🙂

I thought I lost "the one" when she left me, my life was in ruins. I would sleep all day and just imagine what life would be if things would have worked out. Now, I'm glad things didn't work out 🙂

Shes gone and living her life with her ex. I don't hate them, I wish them the best, as she does for me. For a long time I didn't know how to handle not even being her friend. But I have learned, with the help of all of you, I couldn't be her friend. Why? Because it hurt talking to her, friendship shouldn't hurt. Life goes on, how we choose to live it is up to us, she choose to move on, and I did the same. Life is beautiful, we just have to believe it, and like you said Nappy, live one day at a time. Thanks! 🙂

February 28, 2007
3:24 pm
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nappy
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Santino, you brought tears to my eyes because I have seen that you have came a long way in your progress. There is nothing wrong by thinking about your ex. she was apart of you for a moment and now that moment of her is gone but see how when one door closes then another one will open.
I think that you are doing great. Sometimes I do think and feel that god bring people in our life for a reason, sometimes it good, sometimes it bad, but there is a reason there somewhere and that it should teaches us a lesson and then we can share that lesson with others who are looking for help.
You have came a long way, and when I read the part when you wrote" Life is beautiful, we just have to believe it, live one day at a time."

I knew right then that you were shining in the light, god light.
Get being bright and shine and keep us up on your new friend.
Nappy!

February 28, 2007
5:25 pm
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santino
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Thanks for reading Nappy. I'll keep you all posted 🙂

March 1, 2007
11:36 am
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taj64
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well my new person did not work out. I saw him today. He seemed different. He did not call me. Claims he lost the number. Very short conversation. He asked if we were still on for friday and I like a dummy said yes but the whole time I was feeling that he was just looking for booty and here I am writing out my number again, and not really enjoying it. Because it is my believe that if a guy is really interested, he holds on to that piece of paper. So my interested shifted from anticipation to disappointment today. Now I gave him my phone number but want it back. I intend on my way out to lunch if he is at his post to ask for the piece of paper back and say I think I wrote down the wrong number and just take the paper back so that he does not have my number and I don't have to say much at all. I don't want to be rude but I don't really want to go out with someone who intends booty call and that was the vibe I was getting. It stinks. I often think that is only reason why guys ever seem interested in me is to hook up. And Im not going to just hook up. Im really shaking my head and I feel sad that I go this long and I want something special. No I dont want to go out with him now. It stinks to be disappointed.

March 1, 2007
1:10 pm
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santino
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Hi Taj!!! Sorry it didn't work out. Don't you think asking for your number back might create some office tention between the 2 of you? When and if he calls just ignore it. Make some lame excuse like him. Tell him you lost your phone 🙂

March 1, 2007
2:03 pm
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nappy
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Taj, don't put your head down now. You have came a long way from where you were. This is just another test and you are not going to fluck it. You are going to pass it.
If you feel that this is just a booty call, then when he calls, just tell him that something else has come up and that you would have to see him some other times. That way if he ask you again, you can just tell him no thanks.

And don't just think that guys are only interest in a booty call. Mens are interest in sex period, but it is up to you whether you want to or not. There is a special person out there waiting for a special person like you. It is really god time in doing what is right for us, it is not us. At least you knew that this was not what you wanted, so you caught yourself. You don't have to get your number back, you don't have to go out with him. And please don't do it just because you might feel guilty about it, if he can act like that, then so can you.

March 1, 2007
2:40 pm
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taj64
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Yes you are so right Nappy and you too Santino. I only wanted my number back so it is not in his hands ya know. IT is the feeling that i am upset with, because life has not been so great lately. And it is lonely at times. Sigh. I will do that, say no thanks, that is if he calls. Im suspicious that he won't call and then I will definately know my answer then. IF a guy really likes you for who you are, is interested in dating or relationship, they don't lose your number, or act casual about it, and he acted casual about it today. The other day was different. I am learning first impressions are just that, something completely different. I immediately sensed today that he is player. No doubt about it. Im going to let it go and do nothing...except think how stupid I feel to give him my number two times. ha.

March 1, 2007
3:48 pm
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nappy
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No, you are not stupid. You are human and there is nothing wrong with that. Please if he don't call you when he said then that is ok. What did you lose? Nothing.
And life is still great for you. He didn't do nothing but show you who he really was.
Just think of it like this. Say you went out with him, you felt something for him, then say that you did end up having sex with him, and then you don't hear from him anymore. Then you would feel bad, but since you haven't even went out on a date with him yet, then there is nothing that would make me feel bad. And if you sense that he is a player, then let him play on, just not with your heart. You are more woman then that. Keep your chin up, and stop calling yourself stupid. Because you are not.
Do you want a spanking? (SMILE) (SMILE) (SMILE)

March 1, 2007
4:31 pm
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santino
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Ohh Nappy I want a spanking!! Lol Jk. 🙂

March 1, 2007
5:07 pm
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taj64
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Nappy you are too darn cute for words.

Good ole Santino. I spilled my guts, what about you? huh? so if i failed at starting up a romance, you have to to at least give us some 'tails of yours. How's it going? Still heading into unfamiliar territory? Success stories are amazing ya know.

March 1, 2007
5:31 pm
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nappy
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Santino, I just know that you would love that spanking (smile) but that is another thread (smile)

March 2, 2007
7:48 am
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santino
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Well, not much to tell. Just taking it real slow. Shes going on a snow trip with friends this week and I'm going away for the next two weeks. First Dallas, then Italy. We said our good byes tonight and wished eachother the best. Who knows where all this will go when we come back...

March 2, 2007
8:19 am
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taj64
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Wow I have always wanted to go to Italy.

Sorry that just when you met someone special that you have to take a long break. But the best news is that you may have something positive to look forward to when you return from all your travels. Kind of makes it nice to come back home. The travel will also do you good as well. Two weeks is good to get away from it all and go somehwere different. I know Italy is beautiful place, if only I could be there someday. Have a great time. I hope you stay in touch.

March 2, 2007
9:21 am
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nappy
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Oh Santino, God is really pouring you a blessing. ITALY! Oh my gosh. That is go great and maybe this is what you need right now in your life and I'm sorry that you and your new friend will be apart but maybe this is something for you and something that you may need right now in your life.
Life is funny but it is not our doing. Go enjoy yourself and get in touch with you, Italy it self is a beautiful place and some of us wish that we could go there. A place where you could escape and to get in touch with one self.
And maybe this is your time to get stronger and when you and your new friend get together again then you will know what you want in life. This is about you. See god knows his beautiful people.
Enjoy and have a safe trip!
Nappy

March 2, 2007
1:45 pm
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taj64
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well so far that guy has not called me and supposedly we have plans for tonight. I have been busy around the house and thinking of this from time to time. It is almost as if I hope he does not call just to prove this is the usual and I know him already that he is just that a typical guy who talks but doesn't walk. I have plans to take my daughter to her cousins and we are meeting 1/2 way which is a 2 hour drive for me today. And then back 2 hours. So I will be on the road. At least Im not going to waste time and I am going to move on quickly. next......

March 2, 2007
1:49 pm
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santino
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Taj And Nappy: Thanks, yeah I do plan on living it up when I take these two trips. Their actually work related, but everyone who goes says theres no work involved. They say all you do is drink, eat, drink, eat, and then drink some more 🙂

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