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Hey,,Iamlearning???and tink???
June 15, 2006
10:15 am
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ggfred4
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IaL,
I read your posts and identify with your issues and need help. I too look for other for love and support. I feel unworthy also and don't like myself. Anything negative in my life is another mark against me. Yesterday a new friend that was so nice to me finally told me that she couldn't spend so much time w/me but she was afraid to tell me because I was fragile and would take it personally. This is the 3rd time this has happened this year. So, I find myself crawling back into my shell and pledge to be a "fake" or what others want me to be since myself must not be good enough. I wanted to cut my arms last night to release the pain, but I refrained. I am feeling so down today and want to just quit the counseling I just started, the anti-depressants, the books, etc. Just don't know and feel so alone...

June 15, 2006
12:19 pm
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chinita
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It's ok to feel confused on your feelings and emotions. First of all you just started your meds. and it takes time for it to balance out. Don't quit counceling that is where you can express yourself whether your sad, mad, or happy. We all have our days. Don't let that take you completely down, you have to think positive! It might be for a moment that you feel sad and emotional but you no what it goes away. You might have alot going on in your life right now so take it easy, take a breather. It's all going to be ok.

June 15, 2006
3:03 pm
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119
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its ok that your new friend could not hang out with you. i promise its ok. sometimes people need to take their selves out of a certain enviroment b/c they need to protect thier feelings/emotions. Do you feel comfortable when your socily enteracting? If you dont mind me asking did she say why? Sometimes emotions can run so high that other people can feel and see them. You should continue to go to counssiling if you feel like its a diff one you need look into that. Its normal for you to feel what your feeling. like i sais emotions can run so high and thought can get so tangled in each other.have you ever seen death of the sun on National Geographic? it explains how storms get started on the sun and they just keep getting twisted and twisted and larger and larger until they explode. I feel that is simular to how people are if they dont work out their thoughts they just keeep geting more and more tangled and biger and biger just like the storms on the sun until they expode. and you dont want that you might almost know that feeling, i dont want that for you! your not alone this kind of thing happens alot. And you know you have not only me but you have people here you can talk to people that care about you. you have helped me with advice and you dont know how much that meant to me. dont stop the medication b/c you should deffedintly try to maximize your brain functions. Ive just got done reading healing anxiety and depression by Daniel G. Amen, M.D.
It was an easy read and really helped to see the actuall brain and how it works. im so happy for you that you refrained.
You are loved get back with us and let us know how your doing.

I like to relate alot of thing to nature. Its quite a universal mystery how diff cycles can be so simular. lots of love 119

June 15, 2006
8:33 pm
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ggfred4
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Thanks chinita and 119, I still feel very down and sad, but I know I will get over it. Its just that I haven't got over the last friendship. I like your relationships to nature; it helps. About stopping the medicine, I just want to stop everything because I don't think anything is helping. I tried Effexor XR and that worked only at first, now I am on Cymbalta. Yes, max dosages. I guess I just feel like giving up and staying to myself. I just don't know, too down to think straight.

June 15, 2006
10:11 pm
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Careverymuch
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Hi ggfred, I had to try four different antidepressants to find one that really worked for me, so like the others said, just don't give up. If your new friend is really your "friend" she will stay around. It doesn't sound like she shut you out, she just needs a little room or something. We have to give other people what they need too! Maybe you could think about it in that way?

June 15, 2006
10:22 pm
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ggfred4
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You are all right. She said her mom helped an alcoholic friend a lot when she was a child and that she was jealous of all the attention her mom gave to her friend. She doesn't want to do that to her kids. I truly understand. I am just embarrassed because she was afraid to tell me because she said I am so fragile and take things personally. Okay, this is true, but it is embarrassing. She is so sweet and caring and I don't want her to think she has to walk on eggshells around me. I don't know what to do to improve this relationship. I work right across the hall from her.

June 16, 2006
1:16 pm
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119
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just be yourself, are mind are not always telling us what we really think and feel ! and one must train their brain to think positive. This is also something im working on in my life. loyts of love

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