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Hey GG
September 28, 2006
10:32 pm
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ggfred4
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No, you are not. Sore throats can take days to develop. Your immune system may be down due to health reasons and stress.

Take care...GG

September 28, 2006
10:56 pm
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Anonymous
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I am giving in. I need some ice cream.

September 28, 2006
11:02 pm
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ggfred4
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What do you mean, giving in?

September 28, 2006
11:03 pm
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Anonymous
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i had already brushed my teeth

September 28, 2006
11:04 pm
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ggfred4
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You need it, you're sick!

September 28, 2006
11:09 pm
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Anonymous
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what is my excuse every other nite?

oh yeah, I am underweight!

September 28, 2006
11:10 pm
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ggfred4
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Enjoy your icecream, I'll talk tomorrow. Got to go do some work before I can go to bed.

Hugs...GG

September 28, 2006
11:10 pm
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ggfred4
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Yes, you need to put on weight and soothe your throat; go for it!

September 28, 2006
11:12 pm
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ok, nite, but this ice cream is giving me chills. I think I need hot soup.

September 28, 2006
11:36 pm
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ggfred4
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It's me again. I am stressing, the h is getting on my nerves and I am trying to stay calm but have already released some sarcasm. I feel like screaming, not really, never scream, boy, would that shock him.

September 28, 2006
11:43 pm
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GG

If you scream, realize that you are not modeling peaceful behavior. Things might escalate. Implementing boundaries in a calm voice, repetitively like a broken record keeps everyone, including yourself, calm. You can be firm, yet peaceful, and demonstrate impeccable behavior. It is your choice. Choose the right path. You want a peaceful home?

September 28, 2006
11:43 pm
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Okay, just released more sarcasm to him. I wish he would just go to bed.

September 28, 2006
11:47 pm
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ggfred4
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Yes, I want a peaceful home. I hold so much in, have always done it and sometimes it just builds and builds. He speaks his mind at will but I don't. As I am typing, I am realizing what is the root here.
Yet, I don't know what to do about it.

September 28, 2006
11:52 pm
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ggfred4
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Thought I should add that I never scream, just feel like it at times. However, he raises his voice way too often.

September 28, 2006
11:54 pm
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How about saying something like "when you do ______, I feel____________, and if you continue to do ___________, I will do ___________(consequence)." or "Please do not __________ (e.g. yell at me, put me down, swear, criticize me) again. When you ________, I feel __________, and find it unacceptable. I would appreciate it if you would speak to me respectfully and I will do the same for you."

September 29, 2006
12:05 am
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ggfred4
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I have done that, but he says he only raises his voice because he doesn't think I am truly listening to him. Honestly, he lectures to me like a parent, and yes, I tune him out. But that is not the problem tonight. He just went to bed thankfully.

My last child just moved out in August. He is acting different. This man was never very affectionate with me and we have little in common. I kind of got used to that. (that's another long story) Now, he is smothering me and it gets on my nerves. He watches way too much t.v., every crime show, espn to the max, and the news channel. Tonight he rewatched two CSI shows. So why is this bothering me? I think I am afraid of our future. I miss my kids. Our life was the four of them. We ignored our relationship and now we are having to deal with it. I don't want him to hinder my independence. I use to almost beg for affection and comfort, accepted it wasn't going to happen.

September 29, 2006
12:05 am
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GG

Must go to bed now. Hope things improve..will check back tomorrow.

Hugs,
P&L

September 29, 2006
12:07 am
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ggfred4
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Sorry, don't know why this all spilled out. Take care of yourself please.

Hugs, GG

September 29, 2006
12:11 am
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GG

We must have posted at the same time. Wow, I am at a loss right now. I need to think about this. I guess it is hard for me to come up with something (a) cuz I am tired, and (b) cuz I have never been in your shoes...never been married. I guess that is one reason I fear marriage. I don't want to be stuck with all the marriages I see. I only want to get married if I can have what I think my parents have...and that is so rare. They truly respect each other, but how many couples do? I think you are not alone. I wish I had advice for you. Maybe marriage counseling would help. I just really don't know right now. maybe you should try posting a thread on this and get some input from married people. I am just not too helpful. I sympathize, but I cannot empathize beyond the few times I have felt stuck in relationships or situations and have not known how to deal with them. Hang in there. I am thinking of you. Wish I could do more.

((((((GG))))))))

Hugs,
P&L

September 29, 2006
12:23 am
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I didn't expect anything; I just needed to release some feelings and am thankful I had someone to listen. I may post this situation soon and get some advice from other. Just knowing someone cares and is listening is really all I needed, THANK YOU!

We both have got to get some sleep. Check in tomorrow; won't be home much though.

Hugs, GG

September 29, 2006
12:41 am
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okay, sweet dreams! Hope you get some rest and some answers come to you in your sleep. at least you have stood up for yourself lately!!! You ARE making progress, my friend.

Hugs,

P&L

September 29, 2006
7:56 am
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It's the a.m. before work and wanted to drop a quick note, that I am over my frustrations of last night. I think we are both having "empty nest syndrome" and we have got to get our relationship on the right level. We put our children first and seldom if ever left them and we didn't nurture our relationship over the years and it is like we are starting over and uncomfortable with each other and this new situaiton. Oh well! My one and only son is coming in for the weekend and I am so happy.

Gotta go to work, hope you feel better!

September 29, 2006
7:04 pm
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GG

Glad you are doing better, but I wonder if you are in denial...which is it? Maybe this is a confusing time for you, and you need time to sort it out. Well, I am always here to listen and provide support even if I don't have all the answers!

Glad to hear you get to see your son this weekend. I hope you have a great time. I won't expect to hear from u, unless you get a chance to come online to check in.

I will be working on some deadlines. I am getting back on track, except now I have that sore throat! It is not the worst sore throat, but I suspect a cold is around the corner.

Once I meet these deadlines, I am changing my work style. I already let my beloved team at work know. I think they are in full support of my plans. We have such a little lovefest there anyway. So, I felt good seeing them yesterday.

I had the echo today, but don't get the results until next week. I suspect I will be fine. I am not worrying about anything anymore! I also got a call from my doc about setting up wearing this monitor. So, I am sure they will get it sorted out. Whatever is wrong it is a minor thing...that we already know. However, it was a great wake-up call for me.

Okay, I will be back and forth from the computer tonight. Gonna go get some stuff done before I get too tired.

P&L

September 29, 2006
8:38 pm
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GG

I am so tired. I wish I felt better. I have work to do, and I actually want to do it.

I needed to complain. Sorry.

P&L

September 30, 2006
12:01 am
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ggfred4
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Do NOT apologize for expressing your feelings to me. I wish you felt better.

What did you mean about being in denial?

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