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HE'S ONLY GIDDY WHEN WE HAVING SEX, BUT MEAN WHEN I DON'T DO ANYTHING ELSE
September 5, 2006
6:21 pm
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nappy
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My boyfriend is only in my face and giddy when he knows that we are going to have sex. I guess that I am only resiting it because it is like the same old routine, over and over again. It's almost like I know what we are going to be doing and I don't like that anymore. Then when he can't get his way then he is acting like a child and breaking up with me when things don't go his way. Then is is waiting for me to call him over and over again I guess so that make like I really care for him. I can call him and if he is mad then he won't return my calls. I think that I am tired of him. He don't make any decision about anything. It is always up to me even when going out to dinner. If I don't think of anything then he is getting mad but he can't think of any ideal. Knowing that we spend saturday together. He can't think of one thing to do except when it is ready to go to bed and then he is looking all up in my face. I have mix feeling for him and don't know if I should not call him anymore. Playing these games is really getting to be a bore.

September 5, 2006
6:22 pm
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nappy
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also read my other thread, FEAR GETTING IN THE WAY OF A RELATIONSHIP.

September 5, 2006
6:23 pm
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nappy
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also read my other thread, FEAR GETTING IN THE WAY OF LOVE.

September 6, 2006
10:14 am
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2angelsinmo
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I know how you feel Nappy. My husband of 4.5 yeas is the same way. Half the time I don't want to cuz he's high on pot all the time. I told him I wanted him to stop or I'll leave this weekend and still no luck. I guess I'll be going through a second divorce.

September 6, 2006
10:16 am
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CAMER
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Nappy, if he offends you or gets mad at you and leaves..dont call him, do the no contact until he can realize that what he is doing is making you mad. You only deserve the best in this world, remember that.

How long have you both been together??

September 6, 2006
10:22 am
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CAMER
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just read your other post, and he broke up with you 9 times and didn't pay his rent, and the list goes on.

What you are doing with feelings with him is normal, but how he treats you is wrong, do you think
you deserve this treatment?? and please don't try to make him happy just to spare his feelings, be honest with you and how you feel and not say and do things to make him all
feeling good and comfy.

From all that you wrote on your other thread, it seems like you are not happy Nappy, do you still want to be with this man?? do you see yourself with him a year down the road, these are alot of soul searching questions you need to look at.

I wish you so much strength and support during these tough times.

And remember, YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!

((camer)))

September 6, 2006
10:53 am
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nappy
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He has done some things to me that have scar my heart but I do still love him but I am starting to think that this game is really getting old and for a long time, I always felt that I wasn't a good woman. But then I realize that I am. I am not going to change because this person want me to because then I would have to keep changing and I want do that.
I also realize that he love's me but just don't know how by being a man but acting little a kid. I also realize that being in this relationship, at least I did my best and I gave it my all. It taken me a long time to realize it but I am a good woman.

September 6, 2006
10:54 am
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nappy
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Oh also Camer, I have been knowing him for 20 something years but just had a relationship with him for five years and live with him in good time only for 4 months and the rest has been history.

September 6, 2006
11:50 am
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risingfromtheashes
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nappy,

it wasn't until I did no contact and took several weeks to heal that I could see just how "ugly" my relationship was.....and how unfairly I was treated.

It's hard to see that when you are in the middle of the "storm".....when you travel outside the radius of the storm, you see the path of destruction it leaves and the ugliness it created.

Maybe you need to take some time to yourself and step away from him - even if only for a trial period....and see how things look once they calm down and you have a clearer vision?

I know that I couldn't see how painfully badly I was treated until I got out....now that I see it, I vow not to repeat that mistake.

You deserve better, and I feel that as long as you are in the middle of teh storm, you won't see it.

I know that when I was caught up in the dysfunction, it felt "normal", cuz it was normal to us, it was a pattern that I came to expect, predict and understand.....but it's NOT normal by most standards, and it's unhealthy and painful. It's hard to see it until you step away from it.

September 6, 2006
12:58 pm
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nappy
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No I am not going to contact him. I called him on his house phone and his cell phone and left a message. It is childess acting like a child and you are grown. Pouting because you didn't get your way.
This last part is that over the weekend holiday went spent saturday together, I had to get up to go to church on sunday morning. I was going to a family member house to celebrate a birthday. I ask him if he wanted to come and eat. Well he did but had to leave. I understood that. He wanted to come over later on that night. Well by time that I got home with my grandchild, I was putting him to sleep and I feel asleep also on the bed. My son had to go to work that night so when he woke me up to take him it was late, well I was not going to call him over at that time of night for what. Just to have sex and then either to have him go with me to do my errands that morning or leave and I see him that afternoon. Well since I didn't call him that night, now he is mad and not talking to me, when he should of thought well since this is a holiday and we both don't have to go to work today, let's do something together. That is why I am saying, how to you just shut off your feeling from someone and then turn them back on. He always said that his biggest fear is losing me and I think that his wish is coming true. I don't know what he wants from me but I think now is the time for the no contact rule to set in.

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