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here we go again, more sexual tension....sigh...camer
January 12, 2009
10:43 pm
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SpecialK
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September 30, 2010
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Camer -- too tired to write a lot tonight, but I just want to throw something out there. The only times I've ever truly enjoyed sex, including giving and receiving oral, have been with my present boyfriend and a guy I went out with when I was in my early 20's. They're also the only two relationships that didn't include verbal abuse, head games and other nonsense. I've been in the position you're in many a time, including my first time...and now I sit here and shake my head and wonder "why?" I hope I don't sound like a grandmother or something, lol, but I've learned that sex really is only good when there is intimacy. And I know now that intimacy is impossible with a man who feels he has to be critical.

You're living together, so obviously breaking up would be a pretty big deal...I don't know how long you guys have been together. But what he's doing to you is in my opinion very hurtful...it's a lot deeper than just a "sex problem", he's attacking you in a very tender and sensitive place, your sexual self. I certainly don't blame you for wanting to sleep separately. ((Camer))

January 13, 2009
12:14 am
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soofoo
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Hi Camer,

You are so sweet and loving. Your boyfriend is being really stupid here, but I think you can fix this problem for yourself if you want to.

It's okay to make boundaries that suit you, rather than simply limit another's walking all over you. What if you promised yourself that you would not perform oral sex unless *you* want to. Maybe you won't want to for 10 years,. Then you won't perform oral sex for 10 years. But if the mood should strike you tonight, then you will indulge that without feeling like you are spoiling your BF. And if you don't want to then you won't do it without feeling like you are depriving your BF.

I think your 20 minute rule is getting the best of you. You shouldn't even have to do 30 seconds if you don't like it. And if you like it, you can do it as much as you both want.

If a man wants oral sex, he needs to learn how to get it. He needs to make it feel really sexy and erotic for you. I honestly think that is his responsibility. He'll learn, they all do, they think with the lower head. But as long as he feels entitled to it for 20 minutes or whatever rule you've made for yourself, he's unlikely to start working those skills.

(((((((((((((Camer))))))))))))))

January 17, 2009
8:43 am
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smarterone
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god camer, i dec ided to look up the thread...glad to see the other sidee of you. forgive typing dont feel like going back. I never gave oral to any of mine and they accepted it, prayed i could but i gagged. toothbrush, pills, the works. all of a sudden, my ex comes back into my life, camer you know the story, and i grab it and boom, like nothing. he is like, what have you been learning while i was away. (to unknown: he went to prison for nine yrs while married, i hung in for 6 and then stopped, divorced him, knowing i loved him, lived with some totally opposite sweet man, but two years, we split, now ex out, always kept in contact,now i needed a place, im livng with him and girl who took care of him when i left, you know jail guys, need something but she loves him, and knows he loves me, talk about soap opera)anyway, so i do the deed. live with them and i know all she does is the "deed" he cant make"love" to her. Twenty minutes, i would throw up already. i think this chick could go forever cuz she knows thats the closest she getting to it. and him, oh my he reciprocates real good. camer, i think ben loves you but time comes when they are so "use" to us, they hurt the one they love, they speak first, dont think just worry about themselves when it comes to the organ. well, this thread is a winner, very popular i must add, so all of us codas give a cheer, gobble gobble. ilove you camer, d

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