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here I am
October 23, 2006
11:52 pm
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katarina
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September 24, 2010
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Here I am. My husband is in the living room watching the football game. we have been married for three years. We have been together seven. Ok the first few years were good then we got married and it all came to a halt! He won't let me know what he has in the savings. I am not on any of the credit cards either. I live off of my salary. He makes more than me. He is gone most weekends doing his thing. We have never even been on a vacation together. We live totally seperate lives. This is goin nowhere! stuck

October 24, 2006
12:19 am
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mamacinnamon
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September 27, 2010
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((((katrina)))))

I know the "this is goin nowhere! stuck". My hubby seems to think that giving me his paycheck is all I need. I'm sorry things are so tough.

October 24, 2006
12:31 am
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red blonde
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(((( Katarina))))

Have you sat down and talked to him about how you feel about all that you posted? If you have, it sounds like he may have committed to the marriage vow, but not really to the relationship. Sorry that you are having this problem...it must really be frustrating to you.

October 25, 2006
8:47 am
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Palmsy
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September 30, 2010
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You sound like you are feeling very much alone and betrayed. You probably walked down the aisle on your wedding looking at a man who no longer exist. It is only fair for you to go to him and tell him how you feel. You cannot let another 3 years go by without sharing how you feel- you deserve that! You both may need to put some work back into your marriage. It may require trying to find more things to do together, but both of you have to be open to that. Marriage is tough, but it can be worth it. Take care of yourself- best of luck.

October 25, 2006
9:00 am
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September 29, 2010
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do you feel you have to "save" yourself for him ... if so : why´s that ?

you´re obviously not a priority on his agenda. Or you are the one coming last. And I can see you don´t ask much for you. How convenient ... for him. You´are letting him (and you) get off the hook so ... easily ....what need is he filling for you that you aren´t giving to yourself already ?

Does it make you feel sad and left out seeing him ignore you or take your for granted ?

Have you communicated how you feel to him ?

What do you want out of this relationship (do YOU still want it to go somewhere ... let´s say ... maybe ... somewhere - "over the rainbow" ...)?

what does he want (or expect from) out of this relationship ?

just can´t wait to read the next chapter of this intriguing "real-life" novel.

How do you want your "story" to continue .....

October 25, 2006
11:55 am
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taj64
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You've got three choices,

1) Keep it as is, you stay stuck and nothing changes. You are not happy with this, and from the looks of it, he is. This does not appear to be an equal relationship as far as what I would expect.

2) get couple counseling so that an objective, non biased person can help you communicate better and for him to possibly open his eyes and for this relationship to get better.

3) leave, and find someone who will be more equal and supportive of you.

You deserve to get what you want out of a marriage whether it is to this man or another one down the road.

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