Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
Help me stop! Cutie14
December 7, 2000
8:01 pm
Avatar
Cutie14
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hello everyone, this is "cutie14" again. Ok, so yeah, I haven't been here for a while cause I have been trying to get out of depression, and cutting and everything, but now I am back, and I am asking for you help once again. As you have probably figured out, I am still cutting. I have been seeing a phycologist, going to my doctor, on Prozac, and soon I will be starting to see a phyciatrist...For a while I was only cutting once in a while, like every 10 days, then lately it was 7 days, and then 2 days, yesterday. I told a guy I really really like about how I am still cutting, and he got upset, but I think that he is going to help me through this, cause I guess that he really likes me too. All I know is that I need to stop so badly, but it is so hard! anyone have any advice on how I can stop for good this time??? I mean my friends are being supportive too, but that doesn't seem to help as much anymroe, my parents are really supportive too, but there is still soemthing missing! I need to find out what it is....
thanx,
Cutie14

December 7, 2000
8:27 pm
Avatar
Molly
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Cutie, what is it that you are hurting from, just what is it that makes you want to cut, I get that you hurt, and that the blood, and the cutting is a demonstration of what you feel inside, but what do you feel inside? What is it that you can't let go of, and move towards a more self loving approach to life? Before we get going in this conversation, do your parents know that you are on line, does your doctor, or your counselor? Maybe what you can type here about your feelings can help you language to those close to you, please try to be better to your self, you have so many dreams, and goals, and seem to be so able. My heart goes out to you. I don't know if I would trust my pain to friends right now, I doubt if they can get how bad you are hurting, and might be a dissapointment for you be careful with your feelings, and expectations.

December 7, 2000
10:13 pm
Avatar
Cutie14
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Molly, yes my parents know that i am on line, and the others don't need to know, I don't think that is really there buisness. I am not sure what is hurting me inside so badly, I think that just not being around people, not feeling loved really hurts me. I am an only child and I spend most of my days alone, I am used to that and so that is what I do, but I get so lonely...so then when I go to school I use all my energy and everything to make many friends so I feel loved. So far it has really worked this year, I mean I have a lot of new friends, and they are all really great! But then once I get home, I am lonely again and so then I feel worthless and then I want and soemtimes do cut. That is about as much as I know about the reason why I do it at this point.
Cutie14

December 9, 2000
3:47 am
Avatar
arfur schrunkunpecker
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I'm sorry Cutie or should I call you Cutty?

I did some silly things like cutting when I was younger. I hated the coments from a doctor who just looked at me and said `stop doing it'.

It took a while but inevitably and without working at it, I stopped, but it was for reasons I didn't focus on at the time.

Forgive me for forgetting the cutting for a minute - what other things are you into and what do you want to do or have a go at in the future if anything? Make sure you keep those cuts covered up wont you? Not to stop people from finding them - but to stop infections from finding them.

December 9, 2000
11:44 am
Avatar
Cutie14
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Ok, I'm into...architecture, interior design, photograpy, guys!!! lol, um, reading romance novels, writing poems about how I am feeling, reading other people poems, talking/listening to and with people who are going through the same thing as me, being with my friends, feeling loved, hugging people, cuddling, you know, the usual. I have a dream in the future of becoming an Interior Designer and Architect with my best friend that i have known since Kindergarden and we have been best frineds since 6th grade (we are now in 9th grade) so yeah, we know what college we want to go to, and we know that we want to move to San Diego, CA when we "grow up" so that should be fun...I think that I am pretty close to stopping cutting, cause this guy that I really really like was over last night, and he really wants me to stop cutting and he said that for every new cut he finds out about, he will cut, and if I kill myself then he will too, I dont' know if he was serious, but now I have to stop cause I love him too much to put him through this...but yeah, anyway, I have surrounded myself with non-cutters and people who see the world as a new beginning every day so that they are happy and full of hugs! Right now I love my life, I hope this feeling lasts longer than it usually does:) anymore questions? I'll most likely answer them...
Cutie14

December 9, 2000
2:04 pm
Avatar
arfur schrunkunpecker
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

You sound interesting. Do us all a favor though will you. Don't kill yourself just yet will you? After all. Your boyfriend needs a girlfriend and you need a boyfriend and the future will need interior designers. Don't worry, if you promise not to, we won't either.

One day at a time babe - arfur.x

December 9, 2000
2:24 pm
Avatar
Cutie14
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

K, I won't kill myself just yet, I don't think I will even think about doing that anymore, at least I hope I don't think about it. I'll try not to worry.
Cutie14

December 9, 2000
3:51 pm
Avatar
arfur schrunkunpecker
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Cutie14,

Hey sweetie. All we can do is try, wherever we are and whetever we are doing.

Millions of people before us and millions behind us will attempt to do the same.

Bye, Arfur.x

December 9, 2000
6:44 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Cutie, you are a sensitive individual who feels empty and does not know who she truly is.
You need to develop your self through some time of community involvment with other people, helping and using your talents. This will bring you some sense of self that you can build upon.
Your parents may be supportive, but where are they?
I would want to know what and where my child was visiting while online.
My sense is they do not involve themselves with you much.
Am i right? As infants, toddlers and up to age seven, our sense of self is almost primarily dependent upon our reflection of ourselves within the mirrors of our parents ( especially moms ) eyes.
Being an only child is very hard, i have empathy for you.
You are caught up in a world of drugs, psychs and searching outside ones self for self and love.
Cutie, you need to begin with looking inside, and as you know, there is probably just emptiness in there right now.
Cutie needs you, journal your feelings and confide them in someone you can trust, preferrably someone who is not male at this point.
God bless you. I pray that you heal and find the love that is within you, so that you can truly live from a full cup......life is waiting for you.

December 10, 2000
7:07 pm
Avatar
Cutie14
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thank you skye:) for the advice. My parents are usually pretty involved in my life, but they know that i need my space a lot of the time, so they don't know exactly what I am doing all the time, and I personally like it better that way. Anyway, you are right about saying that I am looking for the real me or whatever, cause I am. I keep getting closer to finding the real me and hopefully soon I will.

Cutie14

December 10, 2000
10:21 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

sure you personally like it better, but its not good parenting nor is it loving . Parents need to be active and involved in their childrens lives esp teens, they should know what you are doing, who you are doing it with and what time you plan on doing it. This type of discipline is an expression of love not domination

December 11, 2000
5:48 pm
Avatar
Molly
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hey Cutie, sorry I took so long to respond, I got to go out of town. I like your response, and sounds like there were some folk here for you, Have you ever seen the campus in SanDiego, it is beautiful, and well worth the effort to get into.
But, don't think that you don't need to be working towards that goal until your senior year. RIGHT NOW, there are things that you can be doing to help make your package tighter, like say you and some other person are the last 2 canidates and there is only one space left for the start of the school year, they look at everything, how much volunteering, how many offices you held, what you have done in your spare time. I bet there is an interior design store or archetict in your area, offer to answer the phones, offer to just be there, isolation, and boredom is the devils playground, seek and you shall find, start right now working towards the goal, go decorate some old folks room, at the old folks home, there must be one there in your town, but and you know how I feel about this , don't put more love into some one else than you do to your self! Keep the positive focus.

December 13, 2000
5:05 pm
Avatar
Cutie14
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hey everyone, guess what, I cut again. so yeah, I guess I can't stop, I don't think I can ever stop for good. I mean it has to be MY decision I guess, I think that in order for me to stop for good, I have to do it on my own. If anyone would like to talk to me, my screen name is SHORT N SWEET NA G2G
Cutie 14

December 13, 2000
8:28 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

so much is said of Love, yet one thing is certain: Either love is present in your every act and word, your every thought, or it is not. And to the degree that Love is absent or waning, so too your healing is diminished and postponed. For Love heals people-the ones who give it and the ones who receive it.
Whatever is troubling you Cutie, challenging you or awaiting resolution, I invite you to claim what is yours and let Love in. See no faults, no disharmonies, no reason for despair; instead, see only the evidence of Loves presence.
For Love is our true heritage, declared so in the innocence of our birth, ours before the beginning. We are the inheritors of what God is- pure love.
Feel the warmth and radiance of Divine Love filling your heart and streaming forth into the world to touch all creatures great and small.
I pray that you find and feel the love that is within you in the form of your highest power, your true self and the divine, Cutie. God be with you and heal you child.
I care.

December 17, 2000
12:04 pm
Avatar
Cutie14
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thank you all for caring, I am pretty sure that this time I am actually done for good with cutting at least. Still, if anyone has any suggestions on how I can really stop for good this time, please tell me! I need all the help I can get to over come this horrible addiction. Well thanx, but I'd better go now, ttyl.
Cutie14

December 17, 2000
1:30 pm
Avatar
Molly
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hey cutie, why don't you start a project, research energy efficient homes, where you can recycle all the waste, make your own electricty collect water, and reuse it for the garden? We are gonna need it, and desiging was a dream of yours.I thought might keep your passion going. Just thinking of you, Molly

December 17, 2000
7:47 pm
Avatar
Brenda
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Merry Xmas Cutie, I pray that you receive the greatest gift of all this xmas..(((((((((((love)))))))))))

December 17, 2000
10:24 pm
Avatar
arfur schrunkunpecker
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Cutie,

What do you want for Christmas then?

I was thinking of buying you a shiny new pen-knife. What do you reckon ?

Or how about a chainsaw - I could get one at Home Depot.

I'm not sure what I want, to be honest.

I guess peace on earth is a little too ambitious for the short term.

Anyway, it could never come between me and the thought of a nice new Dodge Viper. Well, we can all dream eh?

Have a nice Christmas yeah.
Take it easy.
I'll look out for you in the New Year.

Arfur.

December 19, 2000
2:06 am
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Cutie, please do not take to heart what "arfur" had to say, it was mean, cruel and dark, but only those who are the loneliest and filled with the most fear and disconnection from self can try to hurt someone so young and vulnerable like yourself with such sick words.

December 19, 2000
10:30 am
Avatar
janes
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I don't think artur's comment was mean or cruel...maybe flippant, maybe to honestly open for many of us.

Here we have what appears to be a bright, talented caring young lady who comes to us to ask us to "Help her Stop cutting herself with sharp objects...she is open with us about what she is doing to herself...

We cannot help her stop...only she can do that. We have to try to not be enabling of this destrtutive behavior.

It is scary and sad when youth limit or obliterate their potential and possibilities with destructive behavior.

I cannot condone the cutting...

Cutie ...I think you should stop and stay stopped on this cutting issue. I cannot see what it gains you. But then I am not in your shoes at all.

I do wish you good luck and the strength to find your true path.

December 19, 2000
4:24 pm
Avatar
rnbwbrght
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

you say you need to feel loved but one can not feel loved untill they love themselves. The people that surround you love you for who you are. Once you start loving yourself for who you are it will begin to get easier to stop the cutting. You can not look to your parents, your friends, or even a boy to fill the emptiness you feel. only you can fill that cutie. and the only way you can fill it is with love. and the only love that you can fill it with is you own.

December 19, 2000
5:52 pm
Avatar
Cutie14
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I haven't cut in 6 days, and 6 days ago was the last time I will ever cut, mark my words. I haven't been here since last week, and so when I came on line today i was very amazed to see that so many people have responded. Lets just say that I am disappointed in arfur. How dare you say that to me! Now you have made me pissed, luckly other, nicer people wrote after you did, so I am not all that pissed. I understand what a lot of you are saying, about me needing to love myself first, and I have finally relized that now. The guy I was with a short time ago, I am no longer with at all. Now I am with someone else, and he is really sweet, he writes me poems, he is very deep, and he is going to help me a lot. He already has helped me a lot, and we are such good friends. We have known eachother forever, but never really talked until last Friday night at the dance, that night there was a lot of love in the air! But don't worry, I love myself a lot too, and my friends and my family. I see everything in a different lite now that I ahve survived this depression crap. I am so much happier now, thank you all so much. Love ya forever, except arfur.
Cutie14

December 19, 2000
6:18 pm
Avatar
Cutie14
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Cutie14 you are so totally awsome and that is why I luv yeah so much. I am glad you have stopped cutting. I just hope I can find the same strength to turn my life around but I have a feeling it may need a lot of work. I have really messed it up the last couple of years and I think you know what I am talking about. I am just glad we are going to go get through this together and hopefully we can be friends till the end. Oh yeah did I forget to mention you are one "insane" little girl ;-D

December 19, 2000
6:20 pm
Avatar
Cutie14
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Cutie14 you are so totally awsome and that is why I luv yeah so much. I am glad you have stopped cutting. I just hope I can find the same strength to turn my life around but I have a feeling it may need a lot of work. I have really messed it up the last couple of years and I think you know what I am talking about. I am just glad we are going to go get through this together and hopefully we can be friends till the end. Oh yeah did I forget to mention you are one "insane" little girl ;-D

From Goth98

December 19, 2000
7:50 pm
Avatar
gingerleigh
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hey Cutie, don't worry about Arfur. Heck, how seriously can you take someone with a screen name like "Shrunkunpecker"?

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 247
Currently Online:
37
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110924
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38537
Posts: 714209
Newest Members:
delight1080, laticia1, Corties, patrickstayes, kevinkovalsky, izzy39
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer