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Help Me Please x 4 Randy
September 20, 2001
4:15 pm
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Molly
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Empowerment,go Randy. This should be some meeting.

September 22, 2001
12:28 am
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ranmar1
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Wow, what a great two days. Yesterday, I gave her the first installment. She asked why I was doing all this? I looked at her and asked if she was psycho. I told her she brought all this on, and now I am giving her what she asked for. I told her to bring her checkbook the next day (today) because she is now responsible for half the mediation costs, as well as her own financial obligations, purchases, the apartment lease, etc.. I repeated that she is looking to put the blame on others once again, without accepting it herself (ie. "it's my fault what is happening because I didn't set any boundaries down on her.")Today, at mediation, it was great. The mediator told her that yes indeed, she is now responsible for all her own finances, since all accts. have now been split, and she has her first installment of support. Wacko said she can't make it the first month because of lease prepayment, security deposit, moving expenses, mediation bill, etc... Mediator suggested I advance her $800 to cover moving, deposit, and incidentals, and then deduct it out of October 20th installment, which I agreed to do. Wacko says she'll have to live with it. Then I asked for the cohabitation clause, ceasing spousal support if wacko does. Wacko says there was no need to because she wouldn't be doing it, especially with the kids. I said B^@# [email protected]^t, I want it in the agreement, and the mediator said if I want it, it has to be included. The mediator said I obviously don't trust her at what she was saying she was going to do, and I said 100%correct. I offered to pay for medical deductible on oldest daughter, she pays for youngest, and I offered to pay total dental expense. The mediator says no, it should be proportioned on a percentage basis. I said...Okay. Wacko says, wait a minute, he's willing to pay for one, she the other on deductible, and he is willing to pay all dental. Mediator said maybe not, we'll have to come back to it. AHHHHHH, I think wacko has been slapped with a dose of reality. Empowerment was the word that comes to mind for me........finally. I feel like a load already has been lifted. And she hasn't even moved out yet. She said afterwards, she didn't realize that this whole thing isn't a true 50/50, where all the money is put into the pot, and all the expenses, and then divided 50/50. The mediator said (and she is a female) that this is equitable, and this is the way it's going to work. Well, I guess wacko better get some better advice from Earl, because he ain't doing too good right now......ha ha.
Have a great weekend everyone. I'm taking my oldest daughter to the UCLA football game tomorrow........bye for now......I feel goodddddddddd....Randy

September 22, 2001
12:54 pm
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Molly
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Good job on holding firm with the cohabitation clause, Good job.

September 23, 2001
11:32 am
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ranmar1
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Thanks, Molly. I think that now we are coming to some conclusions in mediation, I am able to think and react better. She now has to fend for herself, until the time Earl steps in and take over, or whomever. Welcome to my world, one of responsibility, accountability, and integrity.......
Randy

September 29, 2001
2:08 am
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ranmar1
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Well, tomorrow she moves out. She will take the kids for the first week, I'm off to Denver, Omaha and Salt Lake City. Back on Sunday, when I get them for the week. She is so clueless what she has done. I think she is trying to figure out how she is going to maintain her lifestyle, now that she is financially on her own. It actually feels good to have this weight lifted. I am so looking forward to calming down after she leaves. I can't stand her around right now, knowing what I know, and her denial to this day. She truly believes in her own lies now. What a wacko. I'm sure things will get better with me once I don't have to constantly be sharing the house with her. Time will tell.....Have a great weekend...........Randy

September 29, 2001
5:29 am
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laalaa
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September 24, 2010
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Hi Randy,

Am sat here using this service for the first time from boring blighty and I felt I had to reply.
Sometimes I hear something that makes me ashamed to be a woman!! What is with the Wacko woman? I mean its something to have your cake and eat it, (some people are sooo greedy)but to then blame it on YOU, well it beggars believe! I am a 26 yr old with two children who would never behave in this way. Sometimes we fall out of sync with our partners but after having two children with you where the hell has her respect for herself,for you -and most of all- her children gone ? She should have been honest and told you her feelings had changed b4 she let things happen.One day I am sure you will look back on this and feel glad you found out what she was about. From the replies I read you seem to be a popular guy with friends who care.x x

September 30, 2001
11:15 am
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ranmar1
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Thank you. It's this site that has allowed me to work through this whole process. It's been a real eye opener, and a complete life changing event for me, for which I am actually becoming more grateful for. It's allowed me to become back in touch with my true feelings and emotions.......
Randy

September 30, 2001
12:48 pm
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laalaa
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Hi Randy,
Its nice to know that this site is helping u come to terms with all thats going on in your life at the moment.Theres something comforting being able to communicate with people you don't know or have to spk 2 face to face.I suppose it also makes you realise that everyone has there worries and strife,we are certainly not all alone with our endeavours in life! Good luck with everything.x

September 30, 2001
7:50 pm
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Alena
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September 24, 2010
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Randy, how ya doin today?

It's good to keep yourself busy while the girls are with her. I'm sure you'll have no trouble doing that. Work, work, work...right? I'm sure it's going to be strange, but better. In the long run. Remember, focus on you and your progress, forget about her and her regression, you're going to be A-OK. Hey, have a good week!

September 30, 2001
8:34 pm
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Molly
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Ok, where are you? Reality check day, and wonder if your ok? Its ok to be sad, its ok to cry, its ok to mourn.
we know that sometimes what feels good, hurts just as much.Your gonna be ok Randy, really.

October 2, 2001
2:30 pm
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Molly
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Ok, ranmar, its been a few days, what did you come home to, and are you ok?

October 2, 2001
8:05 pm
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Molly
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Ok, now I am going to get mid evil.
see Help me PleaseX5

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