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Help Me Please x 3- Randy
August 22, 2001
2:45 pm
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mel2
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Randy, you are so strong. I admire you so much.

Mel

August 22, 2001
8:59 pm
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ranmar1
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Mel2
I have been following your thread too. I admire you for having the strenght and guts to face what is really going on in your situation as well. Stay strong and keep posting. I am following your threads too. If I were there (wherever there is) I would hold your hand and tell you to be strong, having been there myself. You are doing great. Keep it up.
Randy

August 23, 2001
9:48 pm
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Molly
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Hola Amigos,
Boy, leave you for a week, and all you can talk about is farting, well, and they say we can't be grown ups.

Just to let you know, the research came to a halt, after studying the waves( and the possible benifits in therapy) for only a few short hours, I was induced into a trance and forced into a semi concious states of relaxation. I was with out phone, internet, duh, television, and most of the outside world. I have never before witnessed a dog having too much fun.

Randy, your hanging, sorry I can still hear your pain inbetween the lines of reaffirmation. Don't get it with cosigining of the group stuff, like lets enable the women, to continue to be only dealing with 50% of the/their problems. Limit the input, limit the observation and reactions, what ever. Your doing ok, like give it up with Earl thing though, and next time you want to find him, before it starts, where you drop said performer off, or when the thing is over and the flowers are given out, and by the way, after our seperation, and divorce, their father my ex, never ever showed up for a anything with out flowers for the girls, ever. He still does it,. Why do you go to the mediator, and not the lawyer? Please tell me your not using the same lawyer?
got to unpack, and de flea, I don't know for sure but everything itches.

August 24, 2001
11:33 am
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ranmar1
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Molly,
Welcome back. I missed you being here. However, please keep the fleas.
The support group with just women never materialized because they wanted to keep it all women (men bashing I guess). However, there is another group being formed, which will include both men and women, some from the same bashing group. This starts Sept.4th. Today, is our first mediation meeting. We are not using the same lawyer. I know better than that. As a matter of fact, I'm the one that drew up the agreement, and had wacko lady look at it, agree to most things, and moving forward. I am resigned in my mind to move on. The legal separation is just a step. We have a 9 month agreement, and then convert over to a Divorce. Why a legal separation only for now? As my lawyer said, it prevents "anyone" from traumatizing the kids any further for now, by preventing any fast or irrational "things" from happening. This will give the girls time to adjust. That is why I'm keeping the house until June, so they have one complete school year to adjust to the new arrangement. I know it may sound ludicrous, considering everything this dishonest and untrustworthy person has done, however, it is a comfort level that I feel I need to go with for now. Who knows what I will feel after she is physically out of the house, I think euphoria........Randy

August 24, 2001
3:49 pm
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Molly
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What grades are the girls in? Signifigant, if you don't mind me asking, and yes I want the listing.
BS, on the trauma, they are being traumitized no matter what, or what ever seperation, or divorce, its hell for everyone.
I don't think its fleas, the bites are to big, more like mosquitos, but had to launder all, know what I mean.
Your doing the best you can, and there is more to come in the emotions department, so hang. Let us know how the mediation goes,

August 24, 2001
8:54 pm
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ranmar1
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Molly,
Kill the biting buggers. My girls are 10 and 14. Both are bright kids, the youngest in a gifted program at school, scoring 98-99% on the STAR Testing. The 14 year old is in the 70% STAR testing area. 50% is the mean average. Mediation was interesting today, we spent the first hour and a half of the total two hours stating what we wanted, based on the agreement we came to. The Mediator asked each of us to communicate to each other why we were seeking a separation, because upon individual caucus, she said we weren't hearing each other. The mediator said there was a lack of trust on my side that wacko woman wasn't having an affair with Earl but that I belittle her and talk down to her. Then the mediator told wacko woman what she was doing was not proper and her behavior warranted my suspicion. Then we proceeded to talk about the living arrangements, and the mediator asked wacko woman why she hadn't moved out yet, what was she waiting for? Now a deadline of October 1 has been established. We go back to mediation on Sept. 7th. Wacko woman really doesn't know what she wants or what she is doing. This is why she is doing the separation and not divorce. I told them I will reserve judgement. Basically, we will keep the house until June, until kids have one full school year under their belt. Then we will sell the house, or I will buy her out. By that time, we will determine if we should convert the filing to a divorce. I just want her out. I need my space away from her. She has manipulated and done so much to violate my trust in her, and now she admits in mediation, she's made some tremendous mistakes, not listing them though. Oh well, at least it's a first. So here I am, waiting for my first support group meeting 9/4, second mediation on 9/7, and hopefully, her move out date of 10/1st. Have a good weekend everyone. Mel2, how are you doing?
Randy

August 24, 2001
9:20 pm
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Molly
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Randy, I meant, like 7th, 8th,9th 10th, but its cool, a dad needs to brag about his little geniouses, is that like mices or mouses? The reason, is its like a real big psych no, no to move them in high school, or even junior high, that female bonding thing to get them through the passages, that is if Earl's daughter moves, not fair, its not her fault, but as long as the peer circle is a positive thing in your eyes.
10/1 and she could be out, like are we talking less than 45 days? Ugh did you say that the delay was the wako doesn't know how she will survive on 4k a month, I would love to have heard that one.
I am quite certain that all the animals are dead, some of the itching has subsided, but ya know when you get one of those bites, you keep thinking something is about to violate you again, damn blood suckers.

August 24, 2001
10:35 pm
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ranmar1
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This is the only reason why I don't want the kids to have to leave the house yet, because it is the first year for my oldest in High School, and last year for younger in elementary. I could care less about Earl's daughter, who lives in Coto. We are in Laguna Niguel. Wacko wants to have an apt. by 10/1. Works for me. I only hope she does it. I would like her to get out and see the real world. She is finding rents at 1200 for a one bedroom. Poor baby, having to face the real world on $4000 per month. And, she says she is only going to get a part time job because she wants to be home for the kids after school. Why start now, she's always been too busy on the golf course or shopping. There is no way she can maintain her lifestyle even on this amount. Oh well, not my problem. I'm going to be okay. Kill those little blood sucking vermits......Randy

August 25, 2001
1:54 pm
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gingerleigh
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Molly, did your trip just rock the world? What did you bring us back?

Ranmar, I'm so glad to hear that you have a firm date for her moveout. Big thumbs up!

Hang in there, buddy.

August 26, 2001
8:37 pm
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ranmar1
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Gingerleigh,
Thanks. Today (Sunday) we actually went out to look at apartments together. How depressing. I can't beleive the rents, 1100-1300 for a one bedroom. We are going to try the nesting concept, we will alternate weeks in the house. By December, we will see where we are at. I'm keeping the house payments up and maintaining the house, she will be responsible for the apartment expenses. She's wondering how she is going go live on 4K per month, with no job because she wants to keep on going to school. I'm not offering anything as far as encouragement or advice. She can get that from her friends. The only concession I have made is to try this nesting concept for the sake of my kids, up until June, their first full school year of not having mom and dad around together. This wacko lady needs to see what it's like to live in reality like the rest of the world. Poor baby, she won't be able to just plop into Nordstrom's anymore, and just charge it. If she does, she will have to figure out how to pay for it. This is actually going to be a relief for me for a while. No more having to wonder how much she has done every month. Let her "friend" support her is she wants, I'm only doing what I'm obligated to pay. My kids will not go without. Let reality set in....let the real world crash into wacko's world.........Randy

August 27, 2001
12:27 pm
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ranmar1
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It's off to Help Me Please x 4. This one is getting too long. See you there. Randy

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